Crazy Right?

Hey you guys...I know its been awhile since I last posted but alot has been going on with me recently. Between my parents' divorce drama and guy trouble with myself, there is never a dull moment. I have been thinking about how I want to go about this blog and I've decided that I just want to be completely honest and raw with the events in my lif...

Only you // 9.6.15

I dated this guy named Sam for a year and a half. I was with him the summer before sophomore year, all of summer year, the summer after sophomore year, and half of junior year. So that relationship alone takes up most of my high school experience... I look back on memories and they're all with him. It kinda sucks because even to this day, I am o...

Just quickly

Just whilst I remember, I got a boyfriend!!

HOMECOMING // 9.3.15

I have decided to go to homecoming. I didn't plan on going at first, but then changed my mind. I changed my mind because it is my senior year and I do want to remember as many things from this year as possible. I am graduating early but I am still going to walk, I am still going to homecoming, I am still going to senior banquet... the only thing...

feign care and warm concern

the connections ache and pull in my mind, stretched to the edge of snapping. i can't stop thinking about war and suffering. how it is all related and how it all fits together to form a perfect pile of shit. war. is it really a win/lose thing? i mean, yeah, it ends. but who can say when, exactly, at what moment a war ends? is it the last death, t...

inventory // 8.31.15

It is the last day of the month, so you know what that means!? MONTHLY INVENTORY AT WORK. This is awful. We are stuck there until we count every single thing in the store, and we are usually there an hour past when we are supposed to get out. It doesn't help that I have school tomorrow and I just wanna get home on the quicks and sleep. It is kin...

work drama // 8.30.15

There is so much drama going on at work right now. I don't even wanna discuss it because of how childish it is! It makes me so mad that some people can get away with acting like such a child like it's not a big deal. This girl seriously quit over text, came in crying and then got her job back. Why would you give someone their job back after they...

The alone momma

It obviously has been much different since now I stay at home with my son. It's weird not working and with it just being my fella and I. I've never been the popular one, never good at making friends. At least when I worked at the childcare I SAW people. I have yet to join momma groups because it's still hot, still over 100 degrees. No way I...

I Maybe Different

I maybe different, but I am me, and nobody can change that but me. You maybe different but you are you. I can't change that and nobodyelse should either. We maybe different, but we are us and nobody else should try to change us, because we are. I, you,us. I maybe different. You maybe different. We're maybe different. But I am me. You are you. An...

"you're the only one"

probably the biggest lie of 2015. I don't understand how some one can look you in the eyes and tell them that. But its wasn't just one person it's a bunch of people. I don't understand how you can tell someone that and then go off and find another girl and tell her the exact same thing. For some reason I'm hoping he's doing this to get to me, to...

First impressions are not my strong suit

I think I should just start typing. For some reason my girlfriend has kept telling me that I should write, even during our breakup yesterday and today. I guess that makes her my ex-girlfriend. The biggest question lingering above me now is simply what to do. I'm going back to college to study communication, all in hopes that I will be able to so...

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Monday/Friday/nighttime

I watched a documentary the other night and the main subject made a statement. I dont remember the exact words. But it was at a point in the film where she mentioned losing the knowledge of what day and time it was. She always referenced that to feeling a sense of freedom... These days i often forget what day it is. And the clock seems to confus...

Broken hearted

My boyfriend broke up with me for his ex. i wasted 2 years on him and he met my entire family. all the memories and plans just gone. I've always been his second option.

Socialite or social not

I am a people person but not a social person. Being outgoing doesn't come naturally for me anymore. I do too much comparing than is for my own good. When I first came to college, I was a different person. I do miss that feeling when all the upperclassmen guys would turn to look at me, when everyone was new so everyone would talk to everyone, and...

About me

I love the smell of candles burning... And the soft light they produce. I love the rain... The way the water caresses my body and drips down from me. I love the wind the way it gently kisses your face and whispers in your ears. I adore the smell of autumn... It brings excitement of adventure into my heart. The colors that the sunset and sunrise...

Chapter 22

The parts of my home to me are my room, my parents room, and my family. I could do without my items and materialistic things. Such as my jewelry and electronics. Things that I would have to have are my pictures . Also I would want to keep books and my bible. Most importantly, I need my family and my dog, Roxy. She's my favorite ever.

Chapter 20

When I was in 8th grade after the first semester I feel like I left my childhood behind. After 8th grade year I felt like I stepped into adulthood. I left middle school and stepping into the maturity of high school. Growing up to me means maturing and getting ready for the real world.

Thinking About Life. You Should Try It Sometime.

So i am sitting here..alone..thinking. What am i thinking you ask? Whelp...Life. I am thinking about Life. Whelp, Life and Death actually i guess. Because people say that death is peaceful, easy, and just uncomplicated. And so it is. Life, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. It's difficult, loud & obnoxious, and definitely difficult...

I don't know you. But you're amazing. Not amazing like me. But amazing like you.

Hurt

This is my first note in my public diary. When you first see me, I would appear to be a happy, healthy, and fun-loving girl. I am very much into beauty, and love shopping and all that @!#$. I get comments all the time that, "Oh I wish I was happy like you!" or, "Oh, but you wouldn't understand, you are so innocent." These comments would not anno...

Fuck It All

thats all i have to say. Fuck it.

Cut

Why do I cut? I am not an old cutter; I would not quite say I am addicted; Last time I counted I had 25... I started in Dec- beginning of Jan. Only when I'm stressed I normally cut... Or when i'm lonely...which is always... I think I hate myself.

New to this site.

I don't even know why I got this account. I am exploring new ways to express myself, I guess?

Her name was Princess

Her name was Princess. I met her through my other friend. We became close by talking on the phone, frequently. At that time, I wasn't sure if either I like her or I just like talking with her. My friend and I sometimes visited her from San Francisco to Newark. There was a time that I tried to get hooked up with her friend, but she ended up with ...

About me

I love the smell of candles burning... And the soft light they produce. I love the rain... The way the water caresses my body and drips down from me. I love the wind the way it gently kisses your face and whispers in your ears. I adore the smell of autumn... It brings excitement of adventure into my heart. The colors that the sunset and sunrise...

why me?

Im so confused...hes not the guy you think he is hes different...he cares but in his own way and idk how to explain it but he does...and I wish he would drop everything and come to me...its my fault and now i have to pay the price i gave up the perfect guy and he went to a girl that doesnt even CARE about the cute things he does for her and im s...

Everyone starts somewhere. It's where you go from there that matters.

Thinking About Life. You Should Try It Sometime.

So i am sitting here..alone..thinking. What am i thinking you ask? Whelp...Life. I am thinking about Life. Whelp, Life and Death actually i guess. Because people say that death is peaceful, easy, and just uncomplicated. And so it is. Life, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. It's difficult, loud & obnoxious, and definitely difficult...

ahhhh

the hardest thing to learn is how to be happy by yourself. i need people. i crave people. i hate people. and i rely on them for my happiness and i always always wind up getting crushed. i don't know how to find my own happiness.