I'm tired of pretending.

What I look for

I want a guy who will: -Take me to the park when it's a beautiful day -Compliment me only when I look good -Tell me his likes and dislikes -Surprise me -Do anything for me no matter how cheesy it may be -Take me on drives when I need to clear my mind -Lay under the stars with me on a clear night -Show me off to his friends and family -Stay up...

How Do I Do This?

I never realized how hard it was to sit down and write about the joys and confusions of love when I am with you. How do I put into words the true happiness that you have given me all the while I explain the hurt ive had to bare too.

Looking Forward to a Blank Wall (2)

We just know there is no use of trying to achieve something when its already been determined impossible.

Looking Forward to A Blank Wall

Growing older to most means looking forward to an extended curfew and the ability to do things you werent able to do before. In my family we don't look forward to the "cool things" about growing up simply because we know that's not what we're going to get. Instead my siblings and I look forward to another year closer of being able to move out an...

My heart is heavy.

Disappointment: My day was supposed to be so much more than average. This let down has been bittersweet. I feel sadness in my bones and anger between my teeth as I bite my tongue. I regret even letting you in again, this was a mistake. Anger: The person inspiring this note should not even be entering my thoughts. I am appalled as to the lack of ...

Motor Mouth

Siblings! Have any? Then you will know how annoying they can be but even when they do, you make up. Sometimes. I went to a spa day today got nice and relaxed and little did she talk to me, instead her phone seemed a better go-to for conversation than an actual person! After this we got in the car and she wouldnt STOP TALKING, all day silence and...

I woke up at 10 am. I had to eat spring roll. Also some hot Cheetos with some water. What I did today was looking at buzzfeed,Instagram, and I had to do the laundry. On tv there was monk. I took a little nap at 4 pm. Yesterday I dreamt about living in a mansion with 5 room it was so big I didn't even find people to hand out with. I saw a new fam...

I'm Sorry

Religion. That's a scary subject. Personally, I don't believe in "religions". I believe in Christianity, which is more of a lifestyle. I wanna apologize to anyone reading this who has been hurt by someone of my faith. It was wrong what they did to you, if you felt unloved, unwanted, or judged. Please don't let them make you think that's what rea...

7/30/2014 6:11am

I'm tired but my cat won't let me sleep . Right now I am also crying from lack of sleep and stress. Such a odd thing isn't it? Everything is the same everyday. Nothing different... It's not that I wish for something bad to happen, it's that I'm just so tired.. I have no friends so my day is always the same. I'm broke so I can't go anywhere, and...

PJV

I feel so unwanted by the one person I want to make happy the most. He's shutting me out. He's pushing me away and I cant do anything. He says its because of money, but that's a lie. Its because of "Her". I know it is. I know thats why he's hurting. Why he's shutting himself off from the world. Damn, I love him but he's hurting me. Once again I'...

Blue Moon

Every now and then when the blue moon rises, I may cross your mind. Still, you have yet to leave mine. Especially when the moon replaces the sun leaving my nights sleepless. Endless. Heavy with you on my brain.

UGH!!!

I just want to scream and yell I was never naive. I was never so honest, that I couldnt hurt, how could you say that, how could you tell me that you wanted to show me the world? what the crockn shit is that? Seriously, I wasnt helpless, I wasnt some kid who just came into her own, I didnt want you because you were old, you tried to push me into ...

What would I do without Jesus? Nothing. What would I be without Jesus? Nothing. -G

Old Gangsters

Old gangsters with trench coats with black/brown fedora hat with nice clean suits. I would like to watch more 1940's gangster movie.I think I am finding myself more of a smoker guy fetish. :3

Sometimes I just have all these wise words to give and all this advice but no one to give it to. I guess the best thing for me to do is to just write them, hope someone looks at it and sees that I just wrote something relating it to their life and they love it. Or even better, I write and look back at it and see that it was just the advice I nee...

It's funny how at every text, phone call, even your words I jump to hear what you are going to say. And how I would swim oceans and climb mountains or drive 6 hours to see you but every weekend I have to almost beg for you to take time to be with me, just me. I feel like you either don't want to be with me or you have better things to do. It sho...

I don't know..

I don't know if I love more than I should or if I don't love enough. If I love more than I should then I am obsessive, but if I don't love like I should then I don't care enough and it doesn't even feel like love. Sometimes I don't even know if I am loved. I mean, I know I am, but sometimes you don't show it like I want you to. I've been asking ...

Books !?

Does anyone have time to read anymore? One thing for sure, I feel as if the chances of me getting to slip my fingers into the pages of ANY book gets slimmer as the years go by. And by books, I mean books that are for pure enjoyment. Not books as in textbooks......as in my APUSH book which I should definitely get ahead on. (Summer notes suck.) An...

First Timing

So I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who uses a diary (I mean, I AM using a WEBSITE with people who do the same), but the 'public' part seems a little different. Which technically makes me a first timer when it comes to diary-writing, since this is a public note. There is also a little note at the bottom of this post reminding me that ...

Food Sucks.

To most people, having a personal sense that food is absolutely disgusting would cause panic. To me, it's bliss. Even bacon tastes horrible to me now. #Today'sRevelation

Hello and welcome I live in GrandJunction Colorado Just off the boarder of utah. Its a town of 40,000 and a county of around 100,000 we enjoy it here ::) this is my journal .

A prayer.

This entry isn't for me, but I was thinking. We spend our daily lives, living, going through life problems with a chance to live and well, others? People in the Ukraine at the moment, people across seas in wars and riots, there number 1 problem at the moment is trying to stay alive. To me that says it all, really. I feel selfish to even begin...

Lain

Lain, from The Book of Deacon. <3

fake "fake" nails

1. Cover your nails with clear. Let it dry. 2. when it is completely dry, peel off and keep it in 1 piece. 3. Get super glue and glue the clear nail to a finger. 4. Push hard until sturdy. Then pant the nail. Put hair spray on it. Theirs your fake "fake" nail.

Diary # 2

Today is July 29, 2014. I'm watching Moesha. My favorite tv show is Moesha. Moesha is a high school student that always want to become a journalist someday.

A friend of mine helped me get over the relationship that's turning dry. It did help,but after a while I went back again and found myself struggling all over again. Its like you're drowned and someone pulled you out of the water but you went back to drown yourself again.. REALITY REALLY?

I don't know you. But you're amazing. Not amazing like me. But amazing like you.

Hurt

This is my first note in my public diary. When you first see me, I would appear to be a happy, healthy, and fun-loving girl. I am very much into beauty, and love shopping and all that @!#$. I get comments all the time that, "Oh I wish I was happy like you!" or, "Oh, but you wouldn't understand, you are so innocent." These comments would not anno...

why me?

Im so confused...hes not the guy you think he is hes different...he cares but in his own way and idk how to explain it but he does...and I wish he would drop everything and come to me...its my fault and now i have to pay the price i gave up the perfect guy and he went to a girl that doesnt even CARE about the cute things he does for her and im s...

Cut

Why do I cut? I am not an old cutter; I would not quite say I am addicted; Last time I counted I had 25... I started in Dec- beginning of Jan. Only when I'm stressed I normally cut... Or when i'm lonely...which is always... I think I hate myself.

New to this site.

I don't even know why I got this account. I am exploring new ways to express myself, I guess?

Fuck It All

thats all i have to say. Fuck it.

Everyone starts somewhere. It's where you go from there that matters.