I do miss him at times. It's not that I want him back - I know I can't, we can't go back. I am happy now, and I wish he would be. It's just that when you let people that close and when they're gone, there's still that place for them. That doesn't fade. There are new people that you let close, and they fill new places in you, but it's never the s...

life is damn..

lately js been a blur.. i js wanna give up but at the same time i can't! -____- it sucks babe.. well shirley came back ? for coachella.. and yeah her friends took my room so im sleeping in the living room.. its so sad u still haven't met my nephew.. babe i love u... :[ i miss u a lot

i don't believe in time, dictionaries, or making the first move.. but i love that i'm being so patient for you lately, that the amount of hours, days, weeks, months do not matter because i want you so badly. or that sometimes you make me think of silly words i've somehow read in a dictionary and that you've opened my mind and i feel so much more...

i envy women who have loving fathers, who have fathers that can ask them to do things in a kind/polite manner, that the words i love you come so easily, that their fathers showed them so much love that they weren't afraid to find love in boys when they were growing up, that the fear of possibly meeting a boy like their dad or being in an abusive...

A Little Bit About Me

I am a nineteen year old college student,named Josi trying to figure out her goals in life,what love means and how it hurts && the adventures that make life worth living for. I am indecisive,I am strong willed,I am a avid music and book lover,I am an Aries,I am me. With every imperfection...it's all I can be.

Kill me?

school started back up tomorrow I dont want to go I would rather die the most painfullest death. I'm scared to death about going back... im already suicidal as it is an then this happens agh

MEN

i don't understand why you guys want us girls to be straight up front when you yourselves are unable to that way with us. i swear the minute i'am trying to find a guy to start a relationship all guys wanna do is just fuck -__- ugh i swear i should just date girls instead...

I'm back~

And also Happy Easter! I'm not sure if I told you guys but I went camping which was 5 hours away. Brought my camera but didn't take any pictures. Went with Donny and Anthony [my two problems of my love triangle] in which nothing happened. Not sure if good or bad but I guess it's just wait and see at the moment. Photo updates? I'm not sure but go...

Dream: Febuaray 6, 2014

I am at home of Kali everything moving from lamps to cystrals it all gets broken. The trees are talking inside his house. We walk outside all high and Richi is talking shit to us pushing us to fight. We try to calm him down...

Dream: Febuaray 2, 2014

Leti knocking on the door when lady comes in and its not her. Its a drunken neighbor. Super is trying to find her. There are people fighting in hallway. She and I make tea and we sit and sip.

Dream: January 31, 2014

In house rented by upstate cabin trip. Trouble went missing. I am looking for him. There is a pitbull there and its raining crazy outside. He goes out. I close all the doors. Need to be alone. I spazz out on everybody... just leave me alone.

I love Bri. Sorry, but its true.

Watch me die for you one day. Whats the big deal? I figured, You've already killed me.

2 Steps Forward 1 Step Back 4.20.14

Dear R- It always feels as though your improving, making steps in life, to the positive side, where you want to be. Then a depressed sky comes along on your 2 steps forward and makes you take a step backwards. Thats exactly what this day has felt like. I felt like i was making strides and my stride turned into a trip and fall, straight on my fa...

My Diary

This is an awesome website :)

Easter 2014

~ I have made it this far. I have gathered all the necassary information and skills. What is stopping me. ~ I wonder if the graduate program will be just like what I was told it would be. ~ I wonder if the students that started under the Obama administration as students are still considered a part of his movement to promote education and globali...

ImThatGirl...

What do you do when you feel like your worlds all down? For years I never really spoke out, more like i always spoke but to myself if that makes any sense... I never knew why i did what i did as a young child and growing up I would do things most young children or teens would do and i would sometimes question it but never did i realize anything ...

I never have been very good at introductions, it's got to be one of the many things I find challenging including writing conclusions which, I guess, is inevitable when writing anything really so like most of the things that I find challenging I guess I must face up to the inevitable prospect of doing said challenge. I seem to have got rather di...

simply magical

Today when i was out tending my garden, a monarch butterfly flew down and alighted on my finger. i heard butterflies bring good luck. It was magical, for butterflies landing on fingers are rare. The butterfly stared at me for a moment. Then it dipped both wings and flew away.I was enchanted.

DO NOT TAKE GCSE ART!

Under absolutely no circumstances! Do not take Art! It sucks the happiness out of you.

Easter.

this whole Easter weekend as been shit and not once have I heard anything about God. only about the easter bunny and cracking eggs.

Tipico cuando me llaman para 'saber si estoy despierta' lo hacen porque es malo para mi dormir tanto pero si yo llamo lo hago por venganza hahaha

"us"

We finally did it, we made a commitment. You're mine and I'm yours. How reckless can we be? We are well aware that we won't see each other for months! Two of those months I'll be gone and we could only communicate through letters. We know this, and realize how hard it will be! Regardless, I hope we can get through it while everyone doubts us.

My First Post 4.18.14

Dear R- Sometimes in life you have to stop and look at where you are and where you were. Looking back, i thought that my life was great, I had the perfect "best" friend and i felt great but this year ive come to realize that i was never truly happy. I thought that i had to get rid of the problems in my life, so that best friend that i had became...

Not right

I give so much out "there" only to feel like crap as the outcome. I can't help my caring for everybody even when they're the most meanest and nastiest people the world unfortunately has the unpleasant pleasure of hosting. I don't ask for anything in return, but in a sense I do because that's how I feel humanity should be in dealing with GENUINE ...

The depression is getting bad again. I constantly find myself wanting to just be gone.

I just want you to chase me. Prove you want me, prove you can't lose me, ask me to come back to you. All I need is a little bit of emotion, why is that so hard for you?

You have the potential, To save some lives. So please be nice, I don't want him to go away He's the only sane one there is... You... Have the potential, To save some lives. Make a wish. -G

Life

Life is weird. How did we get here? why are we here? What do we live for?

Easter hunts?

I love chocolate I really do it's just now that I'm older i wish that Easter hunts involved finding booze and concert tickets :P If only...

I don't know you. But you're amazing. Not amazing like me. But amazing like you.

why me?

Im so confused...hes not the guy you think he is hes different...he cares but in his own way and idk how to explain it but he does...and I wish he would drop everything and come to me...its my fault and now i have to pay the price i gave up the perfect guy and he went to a girl that doesnt even CARE about the cute things he does for her and im s...

Hurt

This is my first note in my public diary. When you first see me, I would appear to be a happy, healthy, and fun-loving girl. I am very much into beauty, and love shopping and all that @!#$. I get comments all the time that, "Oh I wish I was happy like you!" or, "Oh, but you wouldn't understand, you are so innocent." These comments would not anno...

Fuck It All

thats all i have to say. Fuck it.

New to this site.

I don't even know why I got this account. I am exploring new ways to express myself, I guess?

Everyone starts somewhere. It's where you go from there that matters.

Cut

Why do I cut? I am not an old cutter; I would not quite say I am addicted; Last time I counted I had 25... I started in Dec- beginning of Jan. Only when I'm stressed I normally cut... Or when i'm lonely...which is always... I think I hate myself.

Just push through it

Maybe I shouldn't give up. I can do this. I can live, I can be happy. I don't need to let other people influence my life. I'm going to be happy. I can do it. I just need to push threw through these next couple of months then when I see my grammy I can tell her everything that I'm feeling and hopefully she'll let me live with her.