I feel pathetic for thinking of you Feeling like I need you sometimes wondering if I run thru your brain. wondering if you ask "Is she thinkin about me too" but your not are you Your heart is locked up and cold you dont feel the hurt, do you? NO! If you do your mask is surely better then mine I wish I could wear the mask you wear act like I ne...

I had a dream of Nane that was hilarious as hell. It was long and detailed, too. Instead of paying a cab to drive me to her place (guess there was no ocean between the US and Germany in the dream), she sent a car that ran on autopilot like an airplane. It was programmed to take me to her apartment building. Inside the car was a cell phone with a...

Had a horrible, horrible nightmare last night. Or more like today, I should say. Either way, my sense of hopelessness and helplessness was exactly like it was in 2011 when the government gave up on some of their own, including us. Don’t know why Tom and I weren’t living together in the dream, but I seemed to be in my own 1-bedroom apartment or h...

honestly!

im freaking scared to know the truth! i rather go away and hide then face the fact we'll never be together again. I drove by your house kind of creepy? depict the fact i saw your brothers garage open you have a fish tank now? AWESOME! i miss you babe. your dads home probably cooking dinner atm. some girl at Lady bug team house kept talking about...

Evaluation Question 2

Looking back to your Preliminary Task, what do you feel you have learnt in the progression of it to the full product?

Before creating my preliminary task, we'd gone over rules that were expected such as the 180 degree rule to make sure simple things such as a conversation doesn't get confusing, we considered the mise - en - scene so that everything within the scene connotes a message to the audience, but it wasn't until we had done further research and gained e...

By the time we'd created the final product, I'd done more research in representation and with that learnt that we had to convey messages within them using enigma codes so that the audience have already built up expectations, associate it with a genre. Our main consideration was how to portray it, I knew I had to develop my editing skills in orde...

During the progression I've also learnt the importance of titles and the order in which they must follow. In the preliminary task I included titles where I believed was appropriate, I hadn't considered how much of an impact it could potentially have but after analysing other media products I realised that using text alone could create a symboli...

The preliminary task was filmed at one location on the course of about 2 days, whereas with the final product we filmed it over the course of 6/7 days in total which meant that we had to consider the visual consistency constantly. As some of the footage was filmed outdoors we had to make sure the weather and other factors wouldn't affect our fin...

The Mise-en-Scene was considered a lot more with the title sequence because it needed to be no more than 2 minutes and it needed to include all the conventions of a title sequence, whilst setting enigma codes to keep the audience intrigued, so we had to think about the lighting and whether or not our choice in lighting is typical for a horror an...

The costumes and props we used had to be planned out to make sure we were display the right form of representation that could suggest to the viewers the time period it is set in and leaves it open for their interpretation to see how they view the characters.

The sound in the preliminary was all diegetic as it included dialogue but with the final product we chose to include no dialogue as we have not seen many title sequences with dialogue included, we conformed to the expectations of a title sequence and included non- diegetic sound. We used a soundtrack from a copyright free source with an eerie so...

Overall there was a lot more planning involved in creating the sequence because the vision wasn't as simplistic as the preliminary and we had an idea and a narrative that we needed to reflect in 2 minutes so we had to consider which technical and genre conventions to use in order to attract an audience and make it seem realistic.

We used a lot more technical equipment in order to achieve our end result. With the preliminary task we just used a camera and tripod but this time we used a seperate lighting tool, we used a handle to record some footage handheld. We experimented filming the same things at different angles and changing the focus to make it look better visually ...

Our recording techniques also improved since the preliminary task. When recording the preliminary task, we found that we were rewinding after recording each part of the sequence and then fast forwarding too far down the tape which became a problem when trying to acess footage because we thought it had been deleted. This time we made sure we chec...

The main objective was to create a dark atmosphere and tone using Mise-en-Scene and by doing research of other title sequences we were able to achieve that, which is something I didn't consider to the same extent when creating the preliminary task.

I considered the purpose of every single feature included within the sequence, this was to make sure I understood the importance of all the conventions in order to display it effectively, especially the institutional conventions, we had to think which one would support and distribute such a product.

today

today was a weird day.. lately i just try to not write because it makes me sad babe... i drove by ur house after a week of not giving a fuck.. u were home and sleeping<3 i miss sleeping in ur arms.. i really miss it.. i went to DNB and i remember when we went just to play ball.. babe your such an amazong guy u crack me the fuck up sometimes... e...

Got a great idea for a night-light in one of my dreams. In the dream I was showing someone a huge screen saver I had that was the size of an average mural. Well, we certainly wouldn’t need one that big since it doesn’t take that much light to see your way around, but I think I may get one of those digital photo frames after the move and keep it ...

I had a dream I was watching a group of people gathered around someone lying on the ground. I don’t know who it was or what was wrong, but an ambulance pulled up and the paramedics ran to them. I also dreamed that Maliheh told me she was from Germany and spoke German, LOL. She said she just didn’t bother to tell many people that. Then I was ha...

I’m so happy and excited for my sister! But first, another strange thing within the costs summary for my healthcare was that it said it cost about $300 for her to do my toe. But it also cost that just to talk to the ear specialist, plus $500 to vacuum the canal. WTF?!?! Then Tom clicks on the ‘pay now’ button and it says we only owe $25, so tha...

Past Notes

Dreams (2.28.14) Most of my life so far, I have enjoyed reading books. Reading was a place that I could hide how I really felt about everything. Though if you read as much as I do, you realize that hiding behind a book is the worst thing you can do. Books have characters that have dreams and later on achieve it, I once had a dream, never again ...

Is it okay to still be sick? no

3/5/2014

Dear god, I would like to start on saying that please for give me for all the stupid mistakes I've done. I want to change my worst luck to great good luck: please I want to man of my dreams, kids and money to get rid of my debt. That's all.

mii name's kathleen, im kinda new to this thing! but i kinda like it c: ill tell you one thing about me c: i loovveee weed c: obviously !? c:

Dream Wedding

My boyfriend just told me he wants "a big ass wedding". Then he asked me where I want us to have our wedding. I didn't know what to say. I don't know where I want to get married. He touched my heart. I never thought I would actually get married. Even though we're not even engaged yet, I know he's the one. I grew up with my parents not being marr...

Cut

Why do I cut? I am not an old cutter; I would not quite say I am addicted; Last time I counted I had 25... I started in Dec- beginning of Jan. Only when I'm stressed I normally cut... Or when i'm lonely...which is always... I think I hate myself.

Everybody feels pain, and just because others have it worse, should not discount your own. We are given all the pain we can handle... some people are stronger, but some people just want to get out. Fuck this all... I care about you, even though I'm going through pain does not mean that you have any less pain. I would be the girl you look at an...

I Want To Die

I want to kill myself. I want to feel pain. I want to bruise my scull until I am unconscious. I want to cut my skin, and bleed and bleed and bleed and bleed and never stop. But I can't... I made a promise. A promise to myself... that I will get better, I will resist temptation... I will be saved. Help.

Just say "hello", but how? I just wish I was more self-confident.

///

My weight is my issue, I know i'm not fat but I feel as if i'm never happy in my own skin.

Time doesn't change everything, time changes people.

I don't know you. But you're amazing. Not amazing like me. But amazing like you.

why me?

Im so confused...hes not the guy you think he is hes different...he cares but in his own way and idk how to explain it but he does...and I wish he would drop everything and come to me...its my fault and now i have to pay the price i gave up the perfect guy and he went to a girl that doesnt even CARE about the cute things he does for her and im s...

Hurt

This is my first note in my public diary. When you first see me, I would appear to be a happy, healthy, and fun-loving girl. I am very much into beauty, and love shopping and all that @!#$. I get comments all the time that, "Oh I wish I was happy like you!" or, "Oh, but you wouldn't understand, you are so innocent." These comments would not anno...

Fuck It All

thats all i have to say. Fuck it.

New to this site.

I don't even know why I got this account. I am exploring new ways to express myself, I guess?

Everyone starts somewhere. It's where you go from there that matters.

Just push through it

Maybe I shouldn't give up. I can do this. I can live, I can be happy. I don't need to let other people influence my life. I'm going to be happy. I can do it. I just need to push threw through these next couple of months then when I see my grammy I can tell her everything that I'm feeling and hopefully she'll let me live with her.

I think i might cut again

Dear diary, since i have found out that my stepdad and my mom might date again i think i might cut again its just I cant believe she chose him over my trust!! idk if ii can ever trust her or him EVER again. i feel like since she obviously dosent care and shes the person that gave birth 2 me that maybe my life isnt worth living. At least for now ...

January 3

Just the beginning of becoming the best ME !!! Breakfast: egg white omelet, 2 toast, coffee