i think i came to conclusion

i tell myself i'm so content with life... that's total bullshit... if i was why would i be doing all these bad things? you're probably in a better place, better gf, and having a better life... but here i am same old.. When we will i realize... i still love you.. i almost crashed my friends car but it reminded me of u.. SO SAD LOL! -_-

I should sleep. Have class early tomorrow morning. Night

You are the shadows of lost dreams in a broken night. You are the drowning pool of black water in the deepest crevice. A once eternal fondness swifted away with the oceans of ambiguity. The rays of sun we once pondered and mirages to run now desiccated. Maybe its better now we don't know where we want to crawl up and flee. But the hours ceded to...

A certain growing hate, and an unwanted desire. With glowing cisterns carrying tampered poisons, washing away towards our memories. The morning rays light up the shadows, and secrets being made. The dizzy feeling of falling, flying within stars. The remaining pain lays within your castle.

And the world my child will start to conspire against you, and take everything you want away. but you have to carry that weight, that burden, just above that hill you're climbing. And it might hurt, and you will bleed, but that's the game we all play called life. Your body will hurt, and so will your heart, but without any risks, you'll never kn...

what good boy is out their

boys can be nice and also stupid I wish there was some good guy out there

Julio Ramirez.I met him in August during my first semester of college. My best friend. The person who understands me most. No one expected us to be friends. In many ways we are very different.He is conservative to my liberal.Latino to my white.Catholic to my protosent.He is 30 to my 18.We are friends anyways.You see we are misfits among misfits....

Es tarde para arrepentirme pero ahora sé que no debi haber desaparecido por tanto tiempo, cuando lo hice pensé que todo seguiría igual, fui una tonta.

todo comenzo con un 'te veo mañana chica vegetariana'. Te extraño chico carnivoro (:

My First Post 4-18-14

Dear R- Sometimes in life you have to stop and look at where you are and where you were. Looking back, i thought that my life was great, I had the perfect "best" friend and i felt great but this year ive come to realize that i was never truly happy. I thought that i had to get rid of the problems in my life, so that best friend that i had became...

School.

I've never really enjoyed school. It's not that I do not enjoy learning new things or improving my mental skills, it's the teachers' attitudes towards learning that really bothers me, and this is something that the majority of adults and parents do not understand. Secondary school (high school) is hard, because in this day and age it isn't about...

1 step forwards, 2 steps back

you know things were actualy starting to get good for me for once but obviously they wernt going to stay that way for long. i relapsed again this time pretty badly but who cares, i deserved it. i can feel myself slowy slipping away, back into that numb state where all the days just blurs toghter, when you dont even try to do anthing anymore and...

I miss my Bae so much. And I must wait two more days before I see him again :(. HAPPY EASTER everyone!

We put together a unique system of education and an opportunity which helps people to achieve a life of Independence.

The idea of living a life of independence is never taught in our current education systems in schools, colleges and universities. Unfortunately, the very subjective nature of our learning through the mainstream education system, set's our mind in a very limited scope of finding possibilities and deeper meaning in the real life. We all deserve ...

Death

Does death scare you? I use to be afraid but I can care less now. Its just the way of way life. Everything has its course in life. So what if you die, people die everyday, your just another person that just so happened to die that day. If I die, I hope its quick and painless. I guess it would suck for family members, but when ever I experience a...

So much pressure to do well in life. I have thousands of dollars in loans for school. I suck at math but I'll need to do a lot of math this summer. Fuck. I need to do good so they can offer me a job when I graduate

Some people just really suck. I can't stand all the fake people. I hate when people are changed by others into something they aren't. They think they are so much better, smarter, and prettier.

"New" Feeling

I am addicted to that new feeling. the new feeling when you're first dating a guy or that new feeling when you buy a pair of pants. It makes me feel special and happy. Is that a bad thing?

Me.

Well I'm trying this as I look at my right mid thigh. That probably sounded strange. But the reason for it is because of my regret I feel after slicing my thigh open and seeing the now dried blood. It is stinging and burning. My mind keeps racing thinking this May have been a dream and I didn't really give in but it's reality. I haven't in awhil...

My Demons.

Through thoughts to emotions,  My demons appeared,  A battle that was once sought worthwhile,  Now turned into nothing worthwhile,  No strength to fight,  No power to win,  No winning when my demons are out.  Feelings turned viral,  Spreading through your soul,  No escaping what you once survived,  Only drowning in the invisibility shield, My d...

Suicidal Thoughts.

WHY? I want to die. Why was I placed on this world? This planet? This fucking earth? Some one Please Fucking Kill Me.

It bothers me..

I don't know what I can trust, Who I can trust or what I can do anymore. I feel as though I have failed everyone in my life and that I am the biggest disappointment anyone could have. It bothers me because I know I don't like myself, that I hate myself. What do other people think of me, DO they hate me too? I mean it wouldn't surprise me Because...

I don't know you. But you're amazing. Not amazing like me. But amazing like you.

why me?

Im so confused...hes not the guy you think he is hes different...he cares but in his own way and idk how to explain it but he does...and I wish he would drop everything and come to me...its my fault and now i have to pay the price i gave up the perfect guy and he went to a girl that doesnt even CARE about the cute things he does for her and im s...

Hurt

This is my first note in my public diary. When you first see me, I would appear to be a happy, healthy, and fun-loving girl. I am very much into beauty, and love shopping and all that @!#$. I get comments all the time that, "Oh I wish I was happy like you!" or, "Oh, but you wouldn't understand, you are so innocent." These comments would not anno...

Fuck It All

thats all i have to say. Fuck it.

New to this site.

I don't even know why I got this account. I am exploring new ways to express myself, I guess?

Everyone starts somewhere. It's where you go from there that matters.

Cut

Why do I cut? I am not an old cutter; I would not quite say I am addicted; Last time I counted I had 25... I started in Dec- beginning of Jan. Only when I'm stressed I normally cut... Or when i'm lonely...which is always... I think I hate myself.

Just push through it

Maybe I shouldn't give up. I can do this. I can live, I can be happy. I don't need to let other people influence my life. I'm going to be happy. I can do it. I just need to push threw through these next couple of months then when I see my grammy I can tell her everything that I'm feeling and hopefully she'll let me live with her.

I think i might cut again

Dear diary, since i have found out that my stepdad and my mom might date again i think i might cut again its just I cant believe she chose him over my trust!! idk if ii can ever trust her or him EVER again. i feel like since she obviously dosent care and shes the person that gave birth 2 me that maybe my life isnt worth living. At least for now ...