Hey Guys!!!!

This is the 1st time I've used an online diary!!! But, it's really cool. Luv Ya Bunches, Becca

#1

I'm just hoping this is safe, I can't trust anything or anyone with my feelings etc so I figured writing a diary would help. I'm generally creative and love writing anyway but I would rather write a paper diary, but I don't really want anyone's hands touching it, it's personal therefore I'll use a nicknames for my/any names.

I have a follower. Yay! May the odds be ever in your favor.

18일(수), 알파벳(AlphaBAT) 싱글 앨범 발매 예정 cr. Instiz CAN YOU NOT. I'd be cursing right now, but I don't. so omgggg. A single album, uugh. Let me cry a river ; u ;

Well..hi there everyone :) I really don't know what to say here...I guess its just a place for me to babble about random things? If I ever talk about people on here, I won't be using my friends real names, and you won't see any pictures of me..ever..or soon anyway, I think that is something I'm going to keep private until I'm ready x

If I was to deal with what I am dealing with right now months ago I probably wouldn't be here to write about this. Does that mean I grew stronger? if it does, why do I hurt so bad and have no way to release it?

I'm getting really tired of losing people.

Numbers

When did the world start revolving around numbers? Everything around us is measured down to a number. Everything we own we bought for a "price". Every year OUR numbers change as in our age. AGE ...How important is your age to you? How does it positively affect you and how does it being you negativity? Has it ever affected your love life? Is the...

Yadaaah. This is my first time writing an online diary, haha. I don't even know what to write as a first entry, so just, poop. ㅋㅋ

I want to be somebody else

I want a job that's fun and kushy, but that pays me well. I want to have children, I want to be able to figure life out more easily. I want to be free of my worry. I want to have a lot of friends like I once did, and an active social life. I want to get rid of this feeling I have in my gut, like there's always something wrong.... I want to s...

Working on my marriage...

It's hard, very hard. Part of me wants to leave so bad, other part wants to stay because of fear of being on my own. I don't want to hurt him, or everyone involved. He woke up...Did not reply to my "morning" because he "does not" talk that early. I picked his clothes for work, ironed them for him. I feed the cat, went outside to start our cars...

I'm tired of working for dumb-shits and crooks.... I need a real job

Am I just destroying everything I touch???

Maybe.

And maybe one day, she'd like to see me. In which i will patiently wait for that invitation... Maybe the stars just arent what i believed they were, and they really are panning things out as they should be. I always say things like "i never thought this" or "i never thought that" ... All because i felt misplaced like i need to be with her instea...

Ordering pizza

Bro: what do you want? Me: I'll eat anything Bro: you say that now but when I bring it home and you see it, you just eat the other one. Me: meatlovers Bro: I'm sick of meatlovers. If you're not going to take my f*cking opinion, don't b*tch out in the first place.

Doormat

It seems even when I mention how I feel in letter, she pushes it off. Like she does in person. I love her but how can she love me, she doesn't show it. She says she loves me but does she really mean it? I am afraid that the only way she will ever tell me she loves me and try is when she hurts me so bad I want to leave her. Is that what I have to...

Tried to stay up late, but I don't see that happening anymore. Gonna try and get some shut-eye now. Zzzzz

I LOVE DRAMA

What if I have some idea of love in my head and it's just totally wrong?

ATM

Delirious. Restless. Confused. Stressed. Tired.

Live anyway

My whole life I've been telling myself, "don't be afraid." And it's only now that I'm realizing how stupid that is. Don't be afraid. It's like saying, "don't move out of the way when someone tries to punch you," or, "don't flinch at the heat of the fire," or, "don't blink." Don't be human. I'm afraid and you're afraid and we're always going to...

I'm just a little girl, with thousands of thoughts.

Alive

I'm not a person I'm a people Lots of them; Happy girls Sad girls Girls dark like the ocean And bright like the stars with ten pillows at once Girls who don't sleep at all Girls who laugh And girls who cry Girls you like And girls you don't The problem is Nearly all of them Are tired of being Alive

And while all of us are drowning She holds her breath So we can breathe And keeps an empty Open heart Just as the door Through which we leave And kindling our fires With words euphoric And dizzy Like gin She lights each one of our candles And forgets to leave Any matches For her.

Sometimes we expect more from others, because we would be willing to do that much for them..

Super sick in bed. Whoever is reading this, I love you so much and God loves you too. I hope you are having an amazing week. Remember, you are beautiful. Please don't ever try and look like the people you see on television, in the magazines, or on posters because it's fake. It only causes an unhealthy mind about how you see yourself. You are per...

Before Saturday

It's Friday and it'll be the last time I get to hang out with friends in Australia before I leave for Vietnam on Saturday. It'll also be the last time I see 'him' before leaving for Vietnam -pouts- I'm starting to over think again.

How many people have that one friend you love more then the rest?

No matter how many times you ignore my heart, i love you more. <3 <3

How do you tell someone you love that you love them without making a fool of yourself?? <3

Will You?

Are you exactly like everyone at your High School? Losing your virginity freshman year, dating unreasonable assholes and disrespecting staff at your school are you a jerk like that? If you are get a life, I felt like this needed to be told.

L-O-V-E

YOU AND ME

Baldini

Today I woke up to breakfast cooked by my wife. I went down to the shop to talk to my assistant. After that I went up to my office to work on copying some perfumes. So far no luck matching the smells. Hopefully tomorrow brings better luck.

BIRTHDAY IN A MONTH!!!!

THISS YEAR MY BIRTHDAYYY IS GONNA BE A PROPER BASH, LAST YEAR I WAS JUST SITTING AROUND IN JEANS AND A HOODY - TIRED, THE YEAR BEFORE WE HAD GANGSTER THEME AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT WAS HAWAII THEME AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT WAS FASHION THEMED... BUT THIS YEAR THE THEME IS BOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!! HERE'S SOME PICS OF MY OUTFIT, THEME, HAIR AND ACCESSORIZE

Dear First Love,

As much as i wanna forget about you i cant, I miss "us" more than anything. I wish you could see how i felt. I want to forget about everything but i'm not sure if i can...