010112<3

babe i miss you rawr... i remember we use to go gym together and swim together i would scrub ur back and shit... fuck that shit was fun.. u would massage my feet inside the jacuzzi.. agh babe i fucken miss you.. i hope this year my birthday wish comes true.. because i just want you.. i miss you already... its a little more then 4 months... boo b...

Music is life

I'd be dead without music

Blagh

ur parents say they love you and other shit then when u do something wrong they throw ur past up in ur face like ur not even there.

This was a bad idea. As much as I tell myself to stop letting people in, I definitely let way too many people in and way too easily. I have to start making sure people earn it. If not, I'll be the one attached and the one that is left alone. That's how it usually happens anyway..

Nobody's Perfect

nobody;s perfect i may not be the most beautiful, the sexiest, or the girl with the perfect body, but i don't pretend to be someone i'm not. I'm good at being me. I might not be proud of some things i'v done in my past, but i'm proud of who i am today.

bullshit here bullshit there bullshit everywhere.

don't depend too much on anyone in the world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness.

ppl say they fucking care, well if you fucking care then say up in my face and look at me in the fuckin eye bitch

fuck ppl they say one thing and then do another bitch hello i have a fuckin mind unlike you.

Doing fine.

A lot has happened since I last wrote. most days were okay. Some were much harder than others, but i got through them just fine. In that time though I decided that I would stop talking to him. I deleted our conversations, and just for a good laugh I changed his name to "The Past". He text me once but i didn't text back, and refuse to do so until...

Friday 07/03

lately i have just been slowly peicing my movie together, lesson by lesson. i think im on the right track to being able to finish by due date :)

cheating

One thing I don't think is considered often enough is the general confusion that accompanies relationships for some people. I've been in long relationships in which I've questioned every feeling I had. I didn't know if they were genuine. I didn't know if I was forcing it. I didn't know if I just wanted to feel love and the other person didn't ac...

Eating Disorder

For i am normal weight. 5'6 and 115. But the trouble i go through to maintain this weight is unheard of. I restrict and purge but yet i have only lost 20 pounds. The motivation inside of me is reducing and the personal strength to stay away from food, has disappeared. This weekend i binged, harder than ever. Now i feel terrible. I went to the gy...

Stressing And Can't Decide

It's that time where it's all starting to hit me. I basically only have one more full month of learning in school and then May is all testing. After that, I am done. And now comes the hard decision of choosing a college. Getting waitlisted for two of my top schools is not making this decision any easier. I still have a small glimmer of hope that...

A Month Later.

It's very weird knowing that I last wrote a month ago. I don't fully remember what's happened lately, but I can try to summarize. My grades are shit. I'm trying not to curse, which is ironic because I could go back and erase what I had just said, but I'm not going to. Daylight savings just started yesterday, so I'm pretty mad. Also, so I hung ou...

Muy tarde

Lo siento pero ya era muy tarde. No podia dejar de tenerte en mis pensamientos, no soportaba ni 20 horas sin verte, en las noches ya no pensaba en otro, pensaba en ti y cada noche seguia asi. Queria pasarme escribiendo contigo casi todo el dia, y el resto pasarla contigo, lo siento pero ya no podiamos seguir siendo unos simples amigos

Siempre diferencias.

Echada en la cama mirando hacia arriba con pensamientos vagos y flashes de recuerdos, un amorio de 19 dias, un amor? Una calentura? No sabria decirlo. Como poder diferenciar la verdad? Empezamos cariñosos, besos tuyos robados, yo poco a poco los iba permitiendo,tres besos un dia, al siguiente algunos besos mas, y asi sucesivamente. Tenemos 8 año...

here we are again heart.

Sympathies

Dear Diary, I'm not very sympathetic to others. I've been through a lot in my 27 years. Tough doesn't begin to describe what my life has been. When I hear other people's "struggles" all I can think is... 'you had it easy.' Very rarely does someone have a worse story to tell than my own (though I rarely tell it). When someone does have a harder l...

I don't know you. But you're amazing. Not amazing like me. But amazing like you.

why me?

Im so confused...hes not the guy you think he is hes different...he cares but in his own way and idk how to explain it but he does...and I wish he would drop everything and come to me...its my fault and now i have to pay the price i gave up the perfect guy and he went to a girl that doesnt even CARE about the cute things he does for her and im s...

Hurt

This is my first note in my public diary. When you first see me, I would appear to be a happy, healthy, and fun-loving girl. I am very much into beauty, and love shopping and all that @!#$. I get comments all the time that, "Oh I wish I was happy like you!" or, "Oh, but you wouldn't understand, you are so innocent." These comments would not anno...

Fuck It All

thats all i have to say. Fuck it.

New to this site.

I don't even know why I got this account. I am exploring new ways to express myself, I guess?

Everyone starts somewhere. It's where you go from there that matters.

Just push through it

Maybe I shouldn't give up. I can do this. I can live, I can be happy. I don't need to let other people influence my life. I'm going to be happy. I can do it. I just need to push threw through these next couple of months then when I see my grammy I can tell her everything that I'm feeling and hopefully she'll let me live with her.

I think i might cut again

Dear diary, since i have found out that my stepdad and my mom might date again i think i might cut again its just I cant believe she chose him over my trust!! idk if ii can ever trust her or him EVER again. i feel like since she obviously dosent care and shes the person that gave birth 2 me that maybe my life isnt worth living. At least for now ...

January 3

Just the beginning of becoming the best ME !!! Breakfast: egg white omelet, 2 toast, coffee