YOU MEAN AND ARE MY WORLD Get it in your head and keep it there! Get it, got it, good! Love you bunches forever and always I swear. Kisses.
You helped me get through it and you helped me gain strength to trust again. I let go of my past in hope of something better. It has come along<3
I had a rough past, one I don't talk about. I can say I was hurt, and blind sided to what all was happening. I can say that I was used and manipulated. I don't want to have to say all of this, and I surely don't want to have to say I have been hurt before, but its the past, it happened. I used to cling onto those days I let go by. I used to hate myself that I let it happen, but really I didn't know. I let it go though when I met you.
Fate from Choice
I believe what ever happens, happens for a reason. It doesn't matter if the reason is clear, or if its right. It just matters that you know the difference between choice and fate. I chose to fall in love, but what I really want is some one so wrong for me that they turn into someone that's my other half. I want fate.
Theres a guy out there...
"A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soul mate, the one you can tell your dreams to. He'll brush the hair out of your eyes. Send you flowers when you least expect it. He'll stare at you during the movie, even though he pain $8 to see it. He'll call to say goodnight or just cause he is missing you. He'll look in your eyes and tell you, you're the most beautiful girl in the world, and for the first time in your life, you'll believe it."
Mad Tangent #1 (cont.)
I don't have the chance to correct myself, my parents get mad I didn't do the right thing in the first place. Everyone makes mistakes. Why don't they get that?
Mad Tangent #1
Its so stupid. Driving tonight I realized that my parents don't give me the chance to act on my own in certain circumstances. It makes me so mad that they don't let me correct myself first or let me do anything first. Their word is always on top of everything. Then I began to think about how much of my life is just like this. I have no room for mistakes which gives me no room to just let me be me.
You of all people.
I don't get you. You were a stranger to me not too long ago but you are by far the biggest part of my life. I don't remember what it was like before because how great everything is now. I don't get how you could do so much in so little time.
What is Beauty (cont.)
For a person, they themselves alone are just another person, nothing special. Then you add personality and image and they start to become a some one and some one different. Then putting them into a different environment changes the outlook on them. They could be the most beautiful person while they could be the ugliest depending on what theyre surrounded by. So is there really a form of beauty? Or is beauty a circumstantial, comparing, and conditional state of mind?
What is Beauty
Sometimes I don't understand the true deep beauty of some things. Singly some thing could be just a dull item that is nothing out of the ordinary. But if you put that some thing with others or in a certain environment it suddenly it becomes the focal point of beauty. Is it really beautiful? Has that item always had that worth of beauty?
To say the least there is always an amount of love present, just not always showing. Attitude and personality tend to get in the way to see that though. Like when someone you love very much becomes rude or harsh, you see them as that kind of person and forget who else they can be. You only concentrate on who they are in that moment. Then the other doesn't take the time to try to erase the rued or unjustness that has become part of them. It all just gets in the way and you forget why you love ...
Maping Out the Path (cont.)
I'll find anything to not live with my parents anymore. It's time to make my own decisions and break away to start a new path.
Maping Out the Path
I honestly don't know what i'll do if I can't move out or move away when it is time for college. I want to move to North Carolina to be able to start my own life and make my own decisions. Basically I want to drift away from my family. We are so close but sometimes its unbearable. I don't want to come home on the weekends or in the summer. If the possibility of moving to north Carolina becomes just a dream, i'll move into an apartment or something.
People wonder: why can't I have a relationship like this? My answer: we are all just too ugly to have a boyfriend and a third wheel photographer.
You Won't Ever Loose Me.
You are so worried about loosing me when you don't even know how worried I am about loosing you. You are a huge part of my life now and I depend on you for a lot of things. You are always there by my side even just a phone call away. I am so grateful for everything you have helped me with and how you helped me be a better person. I cant loose you alright?
Smell the Roses (part 2)
So now I crave some long distance relationship that makes life slow down a little bit and enable taking life day by day.
Smell the Roses.
You didn't know what you did I understand that but what you did immediately reminded me of him. I love you with every bit of my heart but that moment it did the memories flooded back, I hated you. Every kiss was a shot to the heart and another tear added to my sleepless night. Now as I am recollecting, it has only been two months with you officially and look where we are. Too far. This is the mistake I made with him and I don't want to do that again or go through that again.