Note to self:
I am allowed to cry. I am allowed to scream. But, I am not allowed to give up. It will get done somehow. Just breath.
It has only been my 4th day at work and I feel so tired already! I do like what I'm doing, it's very fulfilling but my body and brain can't comprehend with my heart! I get so confused at times, maybe it's just natural since I'm just starting, I do ask questions but since the workplace is too busy, I couldn't get the explanation that I really need from my seniors!*sigh* There's only one more week for me to stay in this area and I'll be in a new place to train again, but before that happens I j...
My Effin Skin
I have this fair, sensitive skin that really gives me trouble at times. With just some dust around, I automatically get these hives all over my body and when I scratch some itchy spots, my skin breaks! As a result, there goes some scars! I couldn't even wear my clothes with their tags still on, I have to cut it out or else I'll be very uncomfortable and feel itchy all day! And then here's my fair skin, adding insult to injury! When I have some blemishes, it's like being magnified!!! I hate it...
(this is the english lyrics) Same day, same moon 24/7 every moment repeats My life is in between Jobless twenty-somethings are afraid of tomorrow It’s funny, you think anything is possible when you’re a kid When you feel how hard it is to get through a day Keep feeling like the “Control” beat, keep downloading it Every single day is a repetition of ctrl+c, ctrl+v I have a long way to go but why am I running in place? I scream out of frustration but the empty air echoes I hope tomorrow will ...
Girl Crush #2: Nathalie Emmanuel
Aww that beauty! Isn't she lovely?:) No matter how stunning Daenerys Targaryen is, I can't help but notice Missandei!xD Yep, I first saw her on Game of Thrones and was so glad to see her in Furious 7, she had this different feel in there, though, but she's still beautiful as always!^^ I just found out that she'll be starring in the film Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials, so I'm looking forward to it!*____*
Feeling down is part of life, all normal people go through it. I can feel that I'm not totally broken and I only need a little repair, over here and over there. I can still laugh, chat comfortably with the people around me and still have the energy to go for a walk and get some fresh air. I believe that I'll be back to my optimistic self in no time. I just need a FRESH START and a heart full of COMMITMENT!
One thing that I hate doing the most is WAITING, and yesterday I gathered all my patience and kept my calm even though it was really hard! I wasted my time... or let's say my fucking life for nothing!
Insecure and Depressed
Tomorrow will be a crucial day, I'm either going to live my life in a normal way again or fall into depression even further. All I can do now is hope for the best. Thy will be done!
I've been denying this for a very long time, but now I just can't take it anymore! The depression I've hidden inside is bursting and it's hard to control! I just want to scream, cry, and be alone right now! I guess that's the only way to make me feel better, but I don't think I can ever do those things so I'll just keep breathing and slowly rot in here...
I had a semi-serious conversation with two of my friends a few days ago and they unexpectedly gave me some words of wisdom, one of them told me that life is meant to be lived forward and the other one said that we should strive hard so that we can fend for ourselves. Although I still ponder about the path I will take, those words really did lift up my spirits and I'll forever thank them for it!^^