Journal_pane_9422671389916081

I Want

I just want to let you know you broke me. You killed my heart, and ripped my soul out of my very being. I'm numb and I don't feel anything anymore. I'm sad and it's hard to breath some times. I felt like you don't care or you never did. I'm alone and you don't care. I'm alone and all I want is you but you don't want me anymore. No one ever wants me anymore, I though you would want me I though you would need me. But you don't. I'm alone and I just want some one to care. I want you to care.

16 January 2014, 11:48 PM
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4 loves: Rapunzel,blaqkn8,silzeebraiel , ...
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Journal_pane_9422671389509207

Depressed Girl

As a little girl I would watch TV and see the commercials for depression pills, how the person in the commercial was sad and felt lonely. I would always sit and think why doesn't that person just talk to someone, why do they keep hurting them self... Now I understand why they hurt them self why they never talk to anyone.... No one understands depression unless they have gone through it too, and if you talk to someone and they haven't felt that kind of anxiety or the walls closing in, then th...

12 January 2014, 06:46 AM
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4 loves: LifeSearcher26,blaqkn8,LostSadShyGirl , ...
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Journal_pane_9422671388911600

The Best

Boy I've lost my mind. It's crazy what one person can do to you. I tell myself it was never real. But man it felt like heaven!! I was close to some one. I haven't been close to someone in so long. It was everything I needed and everything I wanted. We were so real against it all! Amazing how neither one of us could never real get mad at the other. What we had was so real. Everyone knew of us, but know one knew our business. We had what everyone hopes for or wants. Baby what we HAD was SO real...

05 January 2014, 08:46 AM
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1 love: diana_jasso
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Journal_pane_9422671388804012

Amazing

You know what I’m getting so sick and tired of people discriminating she’s too skinny, he’s too fat, are those scars on her writes, Why are there tattoos up him neck? It’s stupid to live this way fear in our eyes and pain in our hearts. You know what I have scars, I’m to fat, but I’m trying to get thin, not for society but for me, because I want to feel better about myself, not though other people eyes but my own. I want tattoos all over my body and I will show them proudly. You know what I w...

04 January 2014, 02:53 AM
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1 love: brokensoul
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Journal_pane_9422671388628995

Gone In The Dark

What if it gets worse? What if I'm too far gone? To scared to keep fighting. All I want to do is sit in the corner and cry. I go from starving myself to eating 20 pounds. I go from cutting open my skin and giving myself burses to screaming and begging my friend to stop it that it’s not the answer. I go from loving with all my heart, mind, body, and soul to hating with such passion. I couldn't kill myself but I’m not sure if sat on an edge of a cliff I would be afraid to jump. I just think I’m...

02 January 2014, 02:16 AM
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1 love: chrissy
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Journal_pane_9422671388388469

Keep Hurting Myself

I could die right now and I wouldn't care. Neither would you. I'm talking to some one new. I don't no if I should keep talking to him because I'm not over you and I don't want to hurt this other person. This other person is sweet and caring, he wants to talk to me and he makes me happy. But even though he does all that I still want you. Even after you broke me, even after you made me cry. Why do I want the guy that I know is and will hurt me but not the one that would treat me right? Why do I...

30 December 2013, 07:27 AM
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1 love: this-is-my-soul
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Journal_pane_9422671388338136

Don't Forget Me

I don't want him to forget. Forget about me about what we had. I say I hate remembering and I do but I'll never just be able to forget. The pain will get less and less abut I'll never forget. The love is still there and I'm trying to move on cause I know he doesn't still care. But I never want to be just any girl to him I want to be the one he remembers name in 5 years from now. The one that when some one asked what girl that you dated did you love most and my name dances across his tong. I ...

29 December 2013, 05:29 PM
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1 love: this-is-my-soul
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Journal_pane_9422671388176180

Funny

I find it funny that my friends come to me crying needing my advice. I help them and they feel better and are laughing by the time we gotta hang up or stop texting. The funny part is that I helped them feel better but I'm always sitting here staring at my razors or counting my scars. I can't fix my self. If I can't fix myself how do I do such a good job helping others? Why can't I just take my own advice? The thing is I do take my own advice I just think I'm not worth it because I'm worthless...

27 December 2013, 08:29 PM
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2 comments: lgraham5,heyhey1610
Journal_pane_9422671387919526

Fairy tail.

I wish I lived in a fairy tail. Where no one could hurt me and there is always a happy ending. Guess my life's just to difficult for that.

24 December 2013, 09:12 PM
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1 love: this-is-my-soul
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Journal_pane_9422671387857378

Hate!

I don’t know how to start this but I hate you! You killed me inside and out! I hate my life I want to just pack up and leave. I want to run so fucking bad I’m always in a fucking rage or I’m always so fucking depressed. I fucking hate you! I don’t care what you do I don’t care! You want to know why? Well it probably has something to do with the fact that I’m so fucking depressed that it’s not even fucking funny! I’ve cut myself so many times! I always have to lie and I do anything to put a sm...

24 December 2013, 03:56 AM
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1 love: this-is-my-soul
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Journal_pane_9422671387854206

Dieing?

Have you ever ran your fingers along your scars before and you can feel the pain it caused? You can feel the pain you went through when you cut open your skin. You can feel the same burning or numbness you felt when the blade dragged across you skin. You remember why and what made you so sad and so depressed. Have you ever sat there and stared at your scars? Have you ever sat there and counted them? One, two, three..... Remember it's down the road not across the street. I have scars that lead...

24 December 2013, 03:03 AM
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1 love: this-is-my-soul
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Journal_pane_9422671387736931

Cutting?

I never really started cutting and I never really stopped cutting. I just cut when I can no longer take it. the pain or reality and the knowing of being nothing, of being worthless. I cut when I starting to cry and the idea of dieing come to mind. The physical pain is a relief from the emotions, and mental pain.

22 December 2013, 06:29 PM
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1 love: this-is-my-soul
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Journal_pane_9422671387691339

A Girl Like Me?

Who could love a girl like me? One so fucked up that she somethings no longer wants to breath. The suicidal girl that's depressed and monsters live in her head, the one that sit in the dark and fears the end. Scars on her body and voices in her mind, who could love a girl so wretchedly undivine? Starving yourself, and cutting your skin who could love that kinda horror that lives within? Know one understands me, how can I let some one in. I wish there was some one that was just as damaged as m...

22 December 2013, 05:49 AM
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love
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Journal_pane_9422671387090047

All I Want

All I want is to have someone love me with all his heart. Look at me and say you know I love you so much. A guy that will call me at midnight saying he had a bad dream and that he needed to talk to me. The guy that will give me a random white rose, and come up with a corny sweet poem for me. The one guy that comes to my house but knows that he shouldn't be there so he sneaks in and we just lay in my bed and watch movies. Eating junk food and goofing off. All I want is a guy that will fall in ...

15 December 2013, 06:47 AM
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2 loves: imyours,MEEEZ15
1 comment: MEEEZ15
Journal_pane_9422671386474763

Broken

I never realized how weak I was Crying in the night The blood of my life Not caring if I survive If I died I wouldn’t be sad I can’t feel the pain I give to myself All the burses All the scars All the blood lost All my sanity Gone! I’m broken I’m the music I listen to I’m the nasty monsters in my head Everyone hates me I thought it was them Now… now I realized it was me all along I’m the reason everyone hates me I’m the reason for everything! For the people that have met me I’m sorry! Your li...

08 December 2013, 03:52 AM
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5 loves: MEEEZ15,this-is-my-soul,bittersweet_symphony , ...
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Journal_pane_9422671386473769

Over The Edge Again

I'm sad to say I fell over the edge again. The pain was just to much. The red blood poring down my leg felt good. Knowing I had some control. Crying doesn't help I did that all last night and the music only works when I'm listening to it, once it's off my mind screams again. My razer sitting on my desk concealed by my stuff and hidden from my family looked all to good. It was all the little things that crashed down on me. My family hating me for so many reasons. My friends seeming not to care...

08 December 2013, 03:36 AM
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2 loves: MEEEZ15,this-is-my-soul
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Journal_pane_9422671386368189

It's All The Little Things

It’s the little things like how someone who had an amazing smile smiles a little less or it’s forced. It’s the little things like when they see you looking at them and they cover up their body it might be because they are having a war within them self’s and the scars are showing up on the outside now. It’s the little things like how they seem empty and less concerned with reality. It’s the little things like when you talk to them they can never make eye contact. It’s the little things like ho...

06 December 2013, 10:16 PM
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2 loves: MEEEZ15,this-is-my-soul
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Journal_pane_9422671386302422

Soul

My eyes are the gate way to my soul. If you want to get to know me it's through to eyes. They give to much away and I hate that.

06 December 2013, 04:00 AM
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2 loves: MEEEZ15,this-is-my-soul
1 comment: MEEEZ15
Journal_pane_9422671386302008

All Of The Music

I never want to make fun of someones music or put there music down, because just like me there music might be the only thing keeping them alive. I would never want to be the cause of someones pain when I know the same type of pain they have, and that pain is what makes you want to die what makes you want to kill yourself.

06 December 2013, 03:53 AM
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1 love: MEEEZ15
1 comment: MEEEZ15
Journal_pane_9422671386124433

My Wonderland

I’ve been played, abused, abandoned, misjudged, misunderstood, betrayed, and tortured. There is a part of me that is now crazy. I’m so far gone over the edge it’s not safe for me anymore I hid it form everyone but now I don’t know if I can any more. My mind is lost in my thoughts, my soul is black, and my heart has let the ice in. I’m not different I’m just me. I have loss my mind, there is no time in my mind the drinks and pills don’t bother me anymore the pain is still there I fight each da...

04 December 2013, 02:34 AM
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