I feel so guilty. I had three best friends. Alexis, Becca, and Gen. We all had our problems. We found each other at a weak point in our lives. It started when I noticed Alexis wearing wrist bands on her left wrist. First I didn't pay much attention but than I looked at my wrist and saw I was wearing about five on my left wrist to cover my cuts. Each day I would look closely at my friends wrist and I'd see little slash marks that eventually grew bigger. When someone hurts themselves you can't ...
My mother check my wrists and stomach every other day now. If only she knew about my secret spots Like right on my top thigh Or the occasional top of my hand so it looks like the "cat" did it It's sad at how good I'm getting at hiding this
It had been 40 days 40 whole days I hadn't done it I wanted to some nights but didn't Last night my whole body felt like it was on fire from wanting to cut so bad Tonight I gave in. Only one cut. And one slice on my hip was enough to make me break I thought I was stronger Better than this No more I will not give up Plenty of people have slip ups going through recovery I believe I can do this Even if I have to smile and lie my way through it.
Well I'm trying this as I look at my right mid thigh. That probably sounded strange. But the reason for it is because of my regret I feel after slicing my thigh open and seeing the now dried blood. It is stinging and burning. My mind keeps racing thinking this May have been a dream and I didn't really give in but it's reality. I haven't in awhile, I promised myself I wouldn't anymore. That it wasn't worth it. But here I am l. Staring at it. Regret, sadness, relief. Yes even in this I find rel...
This may surprise you but the people who look oh so happy, and seem to have a perfect life Are most likely the ones who only wake up to go back to sleep The ones who wear long sleeves and wince Every time someone accidentally pulls at their wrist These people try so hard for no one to notice how they lost the glint in their eyes And how much they are hurting inside Their life looks so great but if you actually experience it, you would hate yourself just like they do. People will surprise you ...
I am happy I smile every day and have friends who love me People think I'm pretty and that I have the greatest life I am sad I fake a smile every day and have friends who talk about me behind my back People lie as say I'm pretty to make me feel better but I hear them say how fat and ugly I am Everyone says my parents are so nice They dont see them behind closed doors fighting and blaming me for every little thing I look like a happy teenage girl but inside I am broken, torn apart, and sad
Twinkle twinkle little scar How I wish you would go farther Please I want to bleed more and more Deeper and deeper till I see no more Twinkle twinkle little knife How I wish I could end my worthless life.
When people hear the word addiction they probably think of an alcohol addiction Or a pill addiction Never a self harm addiction Why? Because people think it's a choice to do it I didn't have a choice To hate myself so much that I slit my wrists, stomach, and thighs No. It's my addiction Once you cut one you have to cut another Why? Because once you do it you think it's your only option to feel something. My addiction is hating myself. And I wish there is a way to help me "get over" it But wh...
Most sayy a prayer before bed about their future or waking up the next morning Me? I guess I'm different I don't care enough to care about waking up At night I cry myself to sleep wondering if I will finally give in and cut alittle too deep. Most say we do it for attention Then why do I wear long sleeves. Why do I cut on my thighs and stomach? Oh yeah So you dont find out And I think that if you do I will be praying for not waking up the next morning because I'm ashamed Ashamed of each time I...
How can you trust somebody in a world of lying, cheating, want, jealousy, and hate Exactly You can't Trust is meant to be earned but nobody is truly worth it because no matter how much you believe they won't abuse that trust Everybody will hurt you So if you don't trust You won't get hurt Simple