Cause baby I'm addicted to your smell.
You never know what you have until it's gone
The title, I don't quite agree. You actually know what you have, it's just that you've never imagined of losing it. For instance, you have an annoying friend. He annoys the crap out of you every single day. You fight everyday, you call each other names everyday, you yell at each other everyday, you roll eyes at each other everyday, and you laugh at each other everyday. But then a day comes when you have to stop talking to each other... That's when you realize how much the person really mea...
I should start writing a journal. It's way convenient than having to wait til I get home to write my heart out here. Don't ya think.
Months ago, I received a question asking about my two great buddies- H&M. The question sounded something like, "What kind of people are H&M?" or something of that sort. The picture was my very first thought of them. Those were the thoughts that first popped into my head, just because they were those kinds of people. But then I decided to change it into something not-so-emo, so instead of my first answer, I typed, "They're both annoying and they smell bad." Months after, today, I saw this...
One day you stopped texting; I thought you needed space, so I gave you some. Days became weeks, and I still told you how much I love you every single day. On your birthday was our 9-month anniversary. I did what I had to, and you said, “Thanks.” My heart fell. You didn’t love me anymore. I tried to slash the chains you put around my heart, trying to escape from you. I went crazy, and you didn’t know. I hurt myself trying to run away from you. I hurt myself trying to batter the locks you ca...
Maybe I love the image of it but not itself.
I don't like this. I don't like where this is heading.
There's this guy. We go to the same school and we meet quite a lot. We've never talked to each other but we always bump into each other a lot at school. So anyways, these past few months, odd things happened. I don't know why but yeah. It started around February. Idk what happened but we just suddenly always have eye-contact when we meet. It's o long, but aghhh. I always convince myself that I'm actually being delusional, but these past few days it's actually too hard to deny that we actua...
I write my heart out, and it feels amazing.
I'm not the type of person who gets angry very easily. I don't get angry. I really don't. But sometimes people take advantage of that side of me that they push me to my limit. They push me so much that even the smallest things snaps me. It's not that I make a huge deal out of things, it's just that I've held it all for so long that when I reach my limit, I just snap. It's soooooo frustrating. I hate getting mad. Honestly if anyone ever makes me so angry that I cry, I'd probably hate them ...
I find it really funny that people actually know me cos I thought I was invisible lol. Most surprising is probably that people actually know my name. Last night this guy from another course followed me on Twitter. I was surprised that he followed me but even more surprised that he knows my name. hahaha well I admit that I do wander around school a lot but yea I thought they'd only label me as "that girl" and not by my name. Then this morning he kept staring at me like okay did I bother yo...
Exams's over! (not)
So I finished my exams alreadyyyy! But I've got my AS coming up in less than 2 weeks and I ain't ready but well I hope I do just fine. I'm not satisfied with any of my papers. I didn't find any of them easy at all. I'm not even sure if I can get a credit in any of my papers! Yknow I feel that my depression is building up because of exams. I feel like I've worked for things but I don't get good results in return. But Idk maybe my efforts isn't sufficient enough.
I don't know why but I feel like avoiding people now. I don't wanna text people, I don't wanna talk to people. I just want to be alone. I always feel like crying now and I just feel my depression developing again. I'm afraid I'll be a disappointment again. I'm just so afraid..
I have a Geography exam tomorrow and I'm so exhausted. I studied (and wrote) for like 9 hours today and my hand just hurtssss. I'm not even done yet! I'm so tired. I'm just tired. I'm just so tired of not being able to write here frequently.
I can feel it again. Those silent screams yelling about how useless I am. I can feel it developing again. Only this time I'm not sure if it's depression or anxiety- and I don't know which is worse.
Today I watched High School Musical (the first two movies) and I felt really sentimental watching them. I felt like I was back in my childhood, back when Troy and Gabriella was a thing. I still memorize all the songs, all the memories attached to them, all the dance moves. I still cry at the part when Troy said bad things about Gab, I still cry at the parts when Gab cried and sang alone at the hallway, I still cry when Gab quit the job because she couldn't stand the drama; that she wanted a ...
So I keep writing and deleting things I feel like a failure at writing lol please help.
I don't know why, but I feel like pouring my heart out tonight- and I don't like it. I don't like pouring my heart out too much because I'm afraid I'd leave myself empty. Ya get what I mean.
What I wanna be.
Lately I've been thinking a lot. I thought about why I was meant to take Geography. I wondered why I was made to continue studying in a religious school when I had a plan perfectly sorted out. I wondered why I was given something that wasn't meant for me. Then I came up with a few conclusions. I originally took Geography because I had no other choice. I was terrible in Chemistry, so I had to take Geography. I studied it out of no passion at all. Years ago I thought anyone taking Geography fo...