Journal_pane_10512151437824490

To All diary.com people ❤️

Even through i dont know all, even through i've never seen or even talked with you, i love you all so much..i'm often reading your comments on different posts and i'm happy cause i see how you stand by each others' side..give advices and help somehow you can..i respect that...i love that..and i wanna say than you to all of you, cause someday i also was falling apart and this site made my life go on...when i was reading that other people was suffering from the same thing i felt that i wasnt on...

25 July 2015, 12:41 PM
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I'm captive of my dreams

Right now when i'm hardly trying to prepare for my Emtrance exams which is in a year , i feel that all my impressions and dreams are still alive..))) how i wanna be on a sea lying on a beach watching gulls flying ^___^ how , how i want ))): and it will be possible in about one and half month )): cause i was chosen in SELF camp which holds on a seaside town ^^ i'm excited ..so so much.... Maybe it seemed to me or i really saw a star falling down yesterday again... Even through i dont believe t...

25 July 2015, 07:35 AM
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1 love: zulumbalenhle9
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My strange dream

It was Friday night when i lied in bed and slept. I saw a dream which left me strangely excited and impressed. I was alone in a flat on the second floor. I wanted to throw something away and i was gonna go out. But i was in pyjama so i found it ashaming to be seen by someone. I looked outside and saw that no one where there. As if no living thing was existing there. Thats why i went out and wanted to come back to my flat quickly. As i was taking steps to upstair i somehow start singing on a v...

29 June 2015, 10:38 AM
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Encourage me :))

Tomorrow is my 3rd exam in physics. I feel so small and down as if i'm the one being the most stupid. I'm very sad. I wanted to work for it but cant. I cant understand even a simple thing and i'm dissappointed..so so much... And as my calming thing i post on a diary ❤️❤️ Calm me down, tell me that tomorrow everything will be ok :)) hold me tight and make me believe i'm not the last one being silly.. Tell me that in 2 days everything will be successfully finished and i will also enjoy summer,...

18 June 2015, 08:13 PM
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1 comment: thisisreallife
Journal_pane_10512151430593469

Inspiration

I try to lose my heartache in art...i began practicing ballet , playing the piano , hiphop dance...I found an inspiration in History too..Especially from 15th century till now.. Unfortunately i dont have teacher.. But h , how i wished (( aww i just remembered. I should also begin drowing pictures.. It makes me happy when i see i'm good enough at them. Just it's impossible not to do well when it comes from inside and when it is the only thing that can reduce a bit your sorrow ❤️ ....will this ...

02 May 2015, 08:04 PM
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1 love: pal4you
1 comment: pal4you

I just live...

I want to bring back my life..the life i used to live. I'm under the blanket now thinking i should go on like that.. Not thinking about him is a good choice and great way to stand through the pain that hurts inside but i dont give myself chance to feel that. Every time i start to think about him i make myself stop and make her sure thats too fool to even think for a minute. I make myself believe that all things are already done and we will never be together again. I make myself believe he doe...

29 April 2015, 10:31 PM
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1 love: knkmidha
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When you wish upon a star

People say that when dreams are wished upon a star they definitely will come true... Oh , i dont know should i believe that or not ? Once upon a time it was lovely summer's night and i was on a hammock swinging. As usual my mind was lost somewhere in thoughts and hopes for my sweet future. I was staring at the sky and stars' lightning was fascinating me. I was dreamer. I only used to see my future with pink sunglasses. Well i've never thought it would be easy and calm but at least i was read...

14 April 2015, 05:20 PM
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1 love: lunavibes
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Scream out loud

Scream , scream if it rips all your sorrows out of your heart and mind. If only i were in the hell , even that would be better than being in this world. I went outside today to look through the nature. I hadnt mistaken, nothing is attractive here, nothing fascinates me anymore. Oh my damned life, why isnt it finishing now? Why is it still going on? Why do i wake up with thousand of teardrops on my face? Why the cars dont run on me, or the train goes over me? Today i even tried to drown myself...

13 April 2015, 06:40 PM
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My ounce of endure is gonna fail

He is with het, not with me!!! What i want in this world? I'm just extra .... Mariam, go and end it forever!!! I cant stand you and your damned life!!!!!! I'm scared i will do that soon((((: Nothing will save me now((((: Go and kill yourself idiot!!! I hate you myself! Why were you born by the way? For what? Amend this mistake now and come back to your place what belongs to you! __cold dark grave under the ground. 4th April 2015, 6:19 PM

13 April 2015, 06:37 PM
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No light at the end of the road

It's raining here unpleasantly. The sky is also crying. It's so dark and cloudy. As if it understands my pain, my torture. I went from the room. I'm on the upstair. Usually we only use it in summer. Here is a cold . I dressed warm coat and found one to have on my legs not to be frozen. I'm not cold now. Anyway i prefer to tremble because of it than because of noise and shouting ... Father still isnt on his brain. Starts shouting and curving. Mad him! But i'm not a bit better-minded. Last nig...

13 April 2015, 06:28 PM
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I miss my old me!

Just what a girl i was...words cant be enough! Inspired, hard-working, motivated, sufficient, strong and purposeful..only now i see how perfect i was....Mariam, i'm missing you! I want you back! Come back to your old personality! What a girl i was.... Everyday i was waking with a hope and the first thing i was doing was smile.. I was active everywhere and everytime.. The first in everything! Although i got lots of failures in the past life i used to go on struggle, never surrender and always ...

13 April 2015, 06:11 PM
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Dreams dont come true (America the beautiful)

I used to dream about going to the USA. I was seeing it in all my dreams. I always imagined one exchange year spending there. Last year i didnt become finalist of FLEX. Kinda unfairness there was. All my hopes broke down and it almost made me mad. Now i have to be waited for my BFTF's results that will be soon known. But i dont. I dont want anything anymore. I only look at graves and dream of being part of it. I'm waiting for death. No call, no mail. Only wanted to go there for a bit awakeni...

13 April 2015, 05:55 PM
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I hadn't left tears to cry

I was crying all the night yesterday as i was talking with him. I was crying until i fell asleep. Today i am asking the same question myself. Why do i live? What for? I try to find an answer and i'm not able... Everyone hates me, no one needs me. All is telling me that i've changed. In a negative way . Teachers dont like me anymore. Everyday i hear their complains about my studying , my inactiveness. I'm not anymore as smiley-faced and happy. I completely changed my thoughts about life. It on...

13 April 2015, 05:31 PM
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Surrounded with thousand of thoughts

Memories dont surrender me to think of anything else than him...i try for the 1000 times to change the view of my life , the direction of my thoughts but as usual i find myself too weak to fight.. Fight against my inner voice. I just cant forget the past and move forward. I see nothing anywhere. I lost interest in everything. Cant even bear myself living on this earth. I feel that my place isnt here... Too tired and empty... Want someday to die.. To rest my tortured soul forever! (Written on...

13 April 2015, 03:16 PM
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Meet me! :))

Hello everyone! I'm 17 year-old Mariam from Georgia. I was so happy when i came across this site. I'm mad of diaries. I keep it since i was 8 yr. old. I hope we can share there our happiness and sorrow freely and dont ever feel that we are alone. I would get to know any of you with pleasure. My mail is singer.girl12@yahoo.com (Written on 31 March)

13 April 2015, 03:12 PM
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1 love: dipsie421
2 comments: dipsie421,Mariam_1997