Sex

I wasn't taught about it. I was naive. I am naive. But I love it. Being thrown on a bed, a hand tight around my throat, oxygen slowly leaving my body, an appendage shoved down my throat. Maybe I'm use to it.

13 January 2017, 02:44 AM
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Confliction

Confusion bubbles up inside me, makingood a sour taste in my dry mouth. Conflict forces me to war with myself. My heartbeat pounds in my ears and my eyes become hazy, unable to see. I want this feeling to be gone but I don't think it will go away. I'm afraid that I will fall deep into a hole and the dirt will pile on top of me.. I want to feel the slice of a knife across my skin again..but he would notice.. or would he? I'm in my silent mood again.. yet I want to scream

09 January 2017, 11:01 PM
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Storms

It stormed yesterday. Hard. Lightening and thunder. I was driving. I can feel his obese body on top of me, his weak arms unable to hold his weight. His breath was cigarette filled and sour. His breath was labored, and he smelled, especially when he pulled his boxers down. His face use to be sharp in my mind but now, thankfully, is just a sour Santa Claus. Even though his member was small, it still hurt. Oddly enough, there wasn't much blood. I knew nothing about sex, rape, molestation. M...

03 January 2017, 11:27 PM
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Sleep

I lay here, half asleep, my eyes are weighted down by sand. I dont want to have nightmares. I can still feel his hands traveling over my legs, telling me happy birthday.. i can remember him telling me that he couldn't aee the television and to scoot down the bed a foot and id end up in front of his genitalia. I dont want to sleep.

02 January 2017, 01:58 AM
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Abuse

I'm 20 years old. I'm a woman. I have anxiety, depression, PTSD, and before August of 2015, I had no support system. I use to be addicted to sex and pills, and was becoming addicted to alcohol. I use to self harm. I still want to. But I'm better. I have a full time job, a vehicle, money, and I'm on medicine. I'm on the road to recovery. These journal entries will be my every day struggles.

01 January 2017, 03:14 PM
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