Trip to TN

So now it's Tuesday after everything and we take our week long trip to TN and we have a blast, even get some booty in. The elevation change had me all fucked up, felt like I was freezing every time I walked into the cabin while he was hot and car sickness was a bitch driving up and down the mountain everywhere. Car sickness takes alot out of me so most nights I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open while he was wired. Don't worry I did stop somewhere and get something...Friday. I hate...

12 October 2016, 01:21 PM
l
love
comment

Sorry it took so long to get back,

we went to TN for a week and then came back to no power because of the hurricane and then I worked my ass off because of course work didn't lose power...anyways. Recaping what happened and starting with I left for my parents house again on Saturday night. So I left because I just felt overwhelmed and the tension was so thick you could literally slice it and make a damn sandwich with it. So I cried myself to sleep in my mothers arms and then got up and went to work the next morning. I was drea...

12 October 2016, 01:17 PM
l
love
comment

Weekend Rundown

Friday before work I sat down with my dad to tell him how I was feeling and ask for advice and he made it pertinent that I need to tell my boyfriend ASAP about these issues or things will only get worse and I agree. Saturday was our 3 year anniversary and I left at 730a to go to my parents house to write him a letter because it's hard for me to talk when I get emotionals. Got back at about noon and he was upset that we had so little time to spend to gether on our anniversary. I told him that ...

04 October 2016, 07:27 PM
l
love
comment

So this might be a little much...

but here goes. Tonight, my boyfriend was hinting towards sex, which we refer to as booty, and given now we haven't had actual intercourse in over a month now due to a UTI that he had and then I was on some antibiotics which of course, cancel out birth control, and really I just haven't been in the mood for such intimacy with him. ANYWAYS, so it's almost 8:30 and he asks me if I'm going to shower soon before bed, so I get up, wash and shave the goodies and lay down in the bed naked. I wasn't r...

30 September 2016, 02:39 AM
l
love
comment

It's been decent

That past week has been pretty ok as far as relationships go. I think I'm more or less trying to convince myself to wait until I have some things taken care of financially before I leave but then again, do I really want to? I feel like I'm on the fence about the whole situation and just as I'm bout to put my foot down on the opposite side, something pulls me back. Idk...I need to win the lottery or something. Then I can just leave and not worry about where I'd be staying. I'd just buy a house...

29 September 2016, 02:42 AM
l
love
comment

I finally told someone.

You remember my friend that I said just got out of a 4 year relationship? Well I could feel it trying to come out and I had to tell someone other that you, Diary, but it seemed to make it all that more real. I think it's time to start saving some money because it's gonna happen sooner or later. Don't worry, I'll keep you up to date. Till next time! Rae

22 September 2016, 02:03 AM
l
love
comment

Breakups

One of my old friends just, released, from a almost 4 year relationship. I'm trying to console her. She said that he gave her legitimate reasons to their break up and is hoping to work on these negative aspects of herself. We haven't seen each other in a few years but we were childhood friends all the way through school. I almost want to ask her what these reasons were so that I can use them myelf. I feel like a terrible person for wanting to break up with my boyfriend and then not wanting to...

21 September 2016, 01:44 PM
l
love
comment

So yesterday was a decent day and I didn't entirely hate my relationship but I noticed last night that my standoff-ish attitude towards him may actually be effecting him. He just sat there for a few minutes and watched me read my kindle then he rolled back over to his phone and said I didn't love him anymore. He's been saying this at least once a day for almost a week now and each time I tell him that I do. It's not a lie, I do love him, but I don't think that I'm IN love with him anymore. I ...

20 September 2016, 10:38 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_11001471474248111

11001471474248111.jpeg

19 September 2016, 02:21 AM
l
love
comment

I've never been the person to...

break up with someone else. I've only broken up with 2 people that I considered having a serious relationship with. 1st was a guy in high school who was just become too attached. It seems like, now that I'm thinking about it, how I feel now. I grew attached to someone who didn't have the same ambition as I did but I love strong willed people like myself but after getting to really know them and their habits and goals in life, they just don't go anywhere with the traits they have. 2nd time was...

19 September 2016, 02:20 AM
l
love
comment

For almost a year

I've been feeling this way about our relationship... For almost a year I've wonder if I'm shackled to you For almost a year I've felt like I wasn't living to my full potential For almost a year I have wondered if we should've ever went from best friends to a couple For almost a year I felt glimpses of heartful love towards you For almost a year I've watched them fade away For almost a year I've watched our habits grow more and more recluse For almost a year we've bottled ourselves up inside t...

17 September 2016, 03:43 PM
l
love
comment

How do you know...

...if you're depressed or not? I was raised not to rely on medicine. Just be active, eat healthy (mostly), and the rest will follow suit (physically at least). I haven't had a major illness that required a visit to the doctor since I was a child. If i got a cold, I dealt with it. Got a stomach bug, it was over Christmas holiday so mom took care of me. Almost had pneumonia, but I just said the heck with it. I'll stay out the cold for a while and not go out to play. The most to plague me since ...

16 September 2016, 10:30 PM
l
love
1 comment: libozshanti
Journal_pane_11001471473958275

11001471473958275.jpeg

15 September 2016, 05:51 PM
l
2 loves: zeinabellozy02,Sincerely_Me
comment

It is what it is?

Or at least that's what my boyfriend has tattoo'd on his arm. Me personally, I'm emotionally and physically drained. I splurged and bought pizza and junk food and I don't even regret it. I'll probably gain back the 12 lbs I've worked so hard to lose over the past month or so but oh well. I'm just like, "fuck it!" *nom nom nom* My boyfriend is being unusually cuddly recently as you may have read and I'm not sure if it's because we haven't had sex in a while because apparently men getting a UTI...

14 September 2016, 02:20 AM
l
1 love: taymaalassaf
2 comments: katie.bug98,RaeAdropOfGoldenSun

Last Night's Puzzlement

So last night after a long day running an event, I get home and as usual we begin watching TV after I shower and I'm just over on my side of the bed giving him his space because he's not a touchy feely person like I am. We talk a little but not much to say it was a conversation and bed time rolls around and we set our phones down and turn out the lights and he tells me goodnight and that he loves me and I tell him the same in return. Strangely he asked if I wanted to cuddle for a little bit a...

12 September 2016, 02:13 PM
l
1 love: nilladawn
comment
Journal_pane_11001471473300014

Good Evening, I'm Rae.

Today I worked and then came home to another night of lying in the bed watching the tv while my significant other had his face glued to his phone. These nights are becoming more frequent and even as I have tried to cuddle him, the cuddling is one sided and I remain third in his attention span. I know that relationships have their times where you feel like you're in a rut that you can't get out of but for the past couple months I just keep thinking, what if I left? Is it too late? Am I trapped...

08 September 2016, 03:00 AM
l
3 loves: ashley.hollingsworth,taymaalassaf,dindinabu
1 comment: Meerkat-Mama