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Fear of Being Not Good Enough

I am an Interior design student. I'm a senior student and hopefully I am graduating this summer. The picture above is a drawing area of an artist as well as his/her resting space. This project was for our school exhibit last march 5-11, with the theme "Design + Me, unveiling design Identities". I designed everything in it, I even customized a lot of accessories here like pillows, carpet, wall decal, etc. I personally painted the figures on the walls. This project ate a lot of my time and eff...

18 March 2015, 05:19 PM
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It's not me.

People always have something in their heads. They only see what they wanted to see. Narrow perspective. I always feel like I'm being judged, because there are some who spread foul judgements and there are lots who feed in them. I'm not mad, I'm hurt. It do destroys my confidence. Sometimes it is hard to be you, because they wont believe. It is hard to be good when you are already judged. Basta their monstrous stare weakens me. I know i should not, but its just hard to ignore. It takes alot of...

25 July 2014, 07:02 PM
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Night Lights

hi, it's been a while. I'm at my uncle's condo with my other siblings because my tita wants to see us. Strangers alert! ╮(╯_╰)╭ hayss... bakit kaming malapit na kamag anak ang hindi close samantalang yung nd talaga kadugo ang close. Maybe because nd kami marunong makisama. Ako lang ata may alam nun e. Nyahahaha pero as in. Haysssssss...

02 May 2014, 05:15 PM
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I want to....

I can, but I feel like I must not. :( I wonder how it feels like to do things freely. no one will stop you. no one will say no. No one will be there to tell you what to do. you will just do what you want. anything with no boundaries. You'll go outside and live in the real world. I can, but I must not. Maybe because I'm not ready. Just like a pillar in it's cocoon. I'll stay inside until I am ready to fly.

02 April 2013, 07:50 PM
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TOrn :'(

I don't know. I am being hunted by fear. Fear of losing someone. Fear of being forgotten. Fear of the possible truth that no one really likes me, they just want something from me and when they get it, they will probably leave me. Fear of the thoughts She made me think. What should I do? I can't be myself anymore. I don't know. What should I do? No body can understand me. :'( I just feel so weak at this moment and I don't know what to do. I don't know what's wrong. I don't know whom to talk to.

21 February 2013, 03:01 PM
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NEWyear

..tama lang. hehehe. during that time I'm not happy but i'm not sad. ewan sakto lang. parang may hinahanap ako. I don't know. maybe because hindi ko nasunod yung tradition ko na every start of the year e matatapos at babasahin ko ang last verse ng book of mormon. ewan. gaaaaaaaah but I'm working on it. anyways Godbless me................................................................................sunday ngaun and I am so thankful. thankful sa mga leaders na gumagabay sa amin. nd talaga ako...

06 January 2013, 01:53 PM
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emptychristmas?

:'(..............I'm feeling so down. Could this be my saddest christmas ever?.. What's happening to us? what happened to me? My family is complete yet something is missing. not just something, It's important really important but I don't know what it is. tomorrow is christmas but I really can't feel the spirit of it. what happened to my family. I here no music. :'( . I feel no joy :'(. there's nothing in it. it's empty. :'(. Have We forgot about GOD? Have we forgot about love? What? what's wr...

24 December 2012, 07:15 AM
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If someone is right for you, you’ll know it.

it's true. nyahahah my confusions just faded away. XD nyahaha i'm just being flattered by the way he treats me. by him. lol I guess there's nothing deeper. XD there's a lot more to happen. I'll let it. come what may. GOdspeed. nyahahha ewan basta wala akong nararamdamang special for any guy. ewan nyahahah, maybe he's not yet here or maybe I don't yet realize that he's here. or it could be something else. dunno XD GODSPEEd.

23 December 2012, 04:38 PM
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Shooting star.

I've seen one last night. :D while waiting for my brother. I was surprised. It was very unexpected. I was just looking at the yellow star near the shooting star then something red twinkled thrice and boooom. ahahha shooting star. :) ang ganda :D I wonder who else in the other side of the earth seen this shooting star.

11 December 2012, 01:39 PM
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Can I be honest? you are hurting me :'(

can I say I hate you just this once? eventhough I know i'll regret saying this later. I just feel this way. JUst this once I want to be honest to myself. I can't think of anyone right now to depend on. I can't think normally. I am full of thoughts and feelings I never shown before. sorry If I am feeling this way. I hate you. you got that? I hate you for making me feel this way. I hate you for putting thoughts in my mind I never wanted. I hate you for being so selfish that made me think it cou...

06 December 2012, 01:18 PM
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too much...

I am confuse most of the times. that's a shame, but I do am. At this moment I am too confused to be normal. Though they give me hints, I always Ignore those. why? cause I'm confuse. I doubt. I always look at the possibilities that maybe, or maybe not. though the answers maybe too obvious for others I always reject that thought. I can't accept it. I do want to hear it directly from that someone who made me confused. Why can't they say it directly. Ugh.. am I just assuming. am I the only one wh...

04 December 2012, 03:32 PM
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Sunday <3

nyahha kagagaling lang sa church pic. agad. ang vain. nyahhahaha XD I had a great sunday again :D but I'm quiet bad, the meeting is not over yet I want to go home. I don't know. si katamadan nagbubulong sa akin. I'm so bad. our lesson is about living righteously, and choosing the right. I salute the pioneers for their sacrifices. They are really a great example for all of us, especially john tamer, a rich man who sucrificed everything he have. also the other john. nyahaha I think john was a g...

11 November 2012, 10:29 AM
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just want to post the pic. is it weird? LOL XD..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ooooooooopsssss.......... I forgot ahaha I have to fill atleast one field in able to post this... so ... uhuh................................. :DDDDD

10 November 2012, 07:32 PM
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SICK

my mind is empty and my body is weak. don't know. ang panget ng gising ko. kalilibing lang sa lolo. tapog pagkagaling ko umuwi ako at natulog. pagkagising ko sobrang lamig. ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. I must rest. ang dami ko pa dapat gawin n nd ko nagawa. GODBLESS me. GOdbless our family.

10 November 2012, 01:18 PM
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I LOVE YOU LOLO

I just lost someone really dear to me. It's so sudden. I already felt something's wrong on my way home. Ang bigat lng ng pakiramdam ko :'(. then my dad told me what happened. I will miss you. I will miss how you smile at me. I will miss everything about you lo. :'( . WE love you. we really do. You will always be loved.

05 November 2012, 02:07 PM
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GREAT SUNDAY!

I love sunday. It's my favorite day. :D GOd's day. I've learned a lot today and I have been reminded of the important lessons I forgot. We are all forgetful that's human nature. That's the reason why we must go to church every sunday, to be reminded. "courage to try" that's our lesson. It takes a lot of courage to do things especially when it's your first time to do it, But It will give you this feeling of accomplishment or achievement after you've done it. Then it will be easy for the second...

04 November 2012, 10:08 AM
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i'm troubled.

why do I easily get too attached. I cared too much. I just don't know. did I feel this before? It feels new to me. I am never like this before. :( what if I'm the only one whose like this. aww. Ugh. will this too pass? It's hard to tell. I know myself. I'm confused most of the time. aisst. time will tell. hope he understand that i'm new to this.

03 November 2012, 02:09 PM
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weird.

I've got this weird feeling just this morning. I just don't know. have you ever felt comfortable with a person who you seldom see, to whom you seldom talk, then in an instance BOOM! you really felt comfortable. like you knew each other for a long time. what a weird feeling. Ugh. It's my first time ever to feel this way. I really don't know how to cope with it. I'll just deal with it. hahahah I know I can. I'll just pray and do what's right.

03 November 2012, 02:48 AM
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What's on my desktop?

HAHA. just wanna share what's on my desktop. STICKY NOTES!! these are the notes or messages that encourage me to do my best, some are for comfort, others are reminders of lessons I've learned. hahaha. the piano sheet at the background is entitled, "dwelling narrowness" it's one of my favorite piece. <3 If you see one of your messages here, it means you have an impact in my life. nyahahaha.

01 November 2012, 02:48 AM
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Stage Fright?

wanna share another secret. I have this so called stage fright. nyahaha not sure if I used the proper word. I'm just afraid of the crowd, most especially when I am singing. I really want to overcome this. I had a great time with my ate kendz today. We went to mall and spent our time at quantum. We had an agreement that If she'll ride on a children's motorcycle, then I have to sing live. Well, she did. -_-'' so I sang then. she chose my song, the gift. I was hiding at the back of the sofa w...

31 October 2012, 01:53 PM
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