Addiction

It's a beast...a seemingly, uncontrolable, self driving force. I myself have delt with it for sometime now and am struggling to overcome it. Of course it seems impossible to overcome when such an inadement object is always there for you when you need it. When there is no social contact or intimacy. Alcohol is my addiction...I would like to believe that everyone has one of some sort. Unfortuanately, mine is life concerning and could ultimately end my life shortly if not resolved but I'm deal...

15 May 2015, 07:36 AM
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......

For the first time in a long time, I'm actually looking forward to the future. I feel like its time to move on and experience something new. I was thinking about moving to California this year for a fresh start so I'm going to visit next month to see how I like it. To go somewhere that no one knows you and vice versa is just so liberating, at least for me anyway. Do I still feel like I love "Marley"? Yes, but nothing will ever come of it so for now I'm ok with us being flirty friends. He's ho...

09 May 2015, 02:57 PM
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So many questions...0 answers

Love....I've always had trouble identifying that emotion. We love our parents, our pets, even inadament objects. The bigger question is, what does it mean to be in love?. I feel everyone has their own definition but how do we really know if we're in love with a person? The feelings I've felt for the man I referred to in my last posting is very unfamiliar, at least as far as the length of time goes. I keep thinking about him at random times throughout the day. The thought of him crosses my min...

20 April 2015, 06:46 PM
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1 love: drggirly
1 comment: drggirly

Crazy Right?

Hey you guys...I know its been awhile since I last posted but alot has been going on with me recently. Between my parents' divorce drama and guy trouble with myself, there is never a dull moment. I have been thinking about how I want to go about this blog and I've decided that I just want to be completely honest and raw with the events in my life. Recently I got involved with this guy. For starters, he's 39 and I'm 23. Yeah I know, shocking right? Well anyway our moms are very close so I've k...

17 April 2015, 04:31 PM
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3 loves: ivyganey123,nohemycede,ladyst.vincent
2 comments: 151194ip,thisgirlisonfire

Your mind is constant...it's always wandering. Even in your sleep you dream about things that have been floating in your subconcious. I know this because I deal with it often. A spontaneous idea or thought that just pops up without warning. Story of my life actually and even sometimes an unwelcome aspect. Although, I had this crazy dream the other night. It's actually a great plot for a book but it's a little disturbing and somewhat personal. It's also suspenseful, a genre that I never though...

20 March 2015, 06:45 PM
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Dating...

Frustration, headaches, discouragement...these are all just some symptoms of dating. I've been in relationships for most of my adult life, so just the idea of meeting new guys and having to start over with every new person tends to be exhausting. Perfect example...a couple of months ago I actually ventured out to one of the dreaded online dating apps to expand my options. Well of course I made a ton of matches but I only connected with one guy. After talking on the app for awhile we deci...

26 February 2015, 06:21 PM
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1 love: drggirly
3 comments: katharinefay,thisgirlisonfire

Why?

Why do people betray or manipulate you? Why does life continuously hit people in the gut with such blatant force? Why are our parents not what we'd prefer 100% of the time? There are so many "whys" and not enough answers. Truth is we as a whole will never actually get any of the answers we want. Just as long as you are ok with your own self worth all of the "whys" and "what ifs" won't matter. If you have to scream, scream. If you need to write to purge your system of all of all of it's impuri...

16 June 2014, 10:06 PM
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What is love anyway? I mean is it just a figment of our imagine or is it really this awesome thing that many people yearn for? Well in my experience I've seen first hand that love hurts. It seems like it would be a great feeling with alike rewards but it's not. I myself would compare it to the most painful, excruciating, and unbearable feeling ever. Who knows, maybe I am being a little pessimistic and negative when it comes to this but my opinion is my own. All I'm trying to say is that love ...

24 May 2014, 04:45 AM
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2 loves: blaqkn8,drggirly
1 comment: blaqkn8

What should I write about?...

I wonder...as an author who's just starting out writing, what should my topic be? Do I write fiction or just stick to the truth of nonfiction? Nay Sayers make me think that I'm being foolish in pursuing this goal but I honestly think I have the potential to become something great. The ambitious and successful all start somewhere where they went through some tedious process to get where they are now. This just might be mine....

11 May 2014, 05:05 AM
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Maybe Some Words of Encouragement?...

Have you ever had that moment when you were so insanely happy that you felt like bursting? Well I haven't had that feeling yet but I believe I'm close to reaching it. Lately life has been really good to me. My personal life and work is going well. On top of all that, I have school to look forward to next year. I'm so excited and content. Now I finally think I've reached the point to start writing my book. I have so many ideas and stories in my head it's ridiculous. I feel 10 times better when...

26 April 2014, 03:02 AM
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Just A Little Something...

Hey guys

25 April 2014, 05:54 PM
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It feels like I haven't posted in forever. Guess I haven't been that emotionally charged lately. Have you just never been aware of what your feeling? It's almost like your on auto pilot and just taking life day by day. Everything just feels ok..nothing more, nothing less. Whether that's good or bad I don't know, but what I do know is that it's a start to a new beginning. Next weekend will be the start of a new chapter for me. There's nothing like traveling somewhere else to give you a new and...

13 April 2014, 06:39 PM
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1 love: jlwilson101
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Some Potential Words of Wisdom

I'm realizing more and more everyday that life is a bitch. Yes, I said it. You can either learn to deal with it or hide from every unsettling thing that comes up. I've been knocked down so many times it feels like and each time I always thought I would never be able to recover. Which in itself is a load of crap because I always bounce back but, its hard to not get stuck in your feelings when something unsavory happens. I'm so happy to say that nothing lasts forever...and it shouldn't. Life is...

29 March 2014, 07:27 PM
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?

Sometimes people surprise you in some small way. You think one day that their shit and then you turn around the next day with a different opinion. I'm learning that I have got to get used to the uncertainty of life and all of the shortcomings of everyone I come in contact with. People are not perfect and they are always guaranteed to make mistakes. Granted they can be malicious at times but that's their problem, not yours. At the end of the day, the only thing that you have control over is ho...

25 March 2014, 05:10 PM
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Heated...

Have you ever just wanted to scream at the top of your lungs so bad? To the point where you felt like if you didn't you would cry? I am bursting with so many different emotions right now so I just had to express them. Nothing besides writing it down has helped. I would like to tell a certain someone how much of a jerk he is to his face but I can't. That would give him too much power over me given the fact that I'm already thinking about him. It seems like my thoughts aren't my own because if ...

25 March 2014, 02:34 AM
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Thoughts...

I wonder what makes you tick. What drives you to just come in and roll over someone's feelings? Making a person question how or why they started talking to you in the first place. As we all know curiousity always kills the cat and it's the unknown that makes us wonder. I love people, even the assholes that leave you thrown to the wayside. Why?..because they make you better. Your only left to bare what you can handle and if I couldn't bare it this burden that consumes me wouldn't be mine to ca...

24 March 2014, 03:53 PM
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1 comment: thelmaallen80

New Beginning?...

Men suck!...(lol) but hey what else is new. I will say this though..they have taught me some of the best and hardest lessons I have ever had to learn in my short 22yrs of life. Like when they leave at the drop of a hat without any reason or explanation so suddenly and unexpectedly? Well it can make you more independent and it teaches you that you can never make someone care about you. Everyone always has the option to leave and there's nothing you can do about it. Of course I'm speaking from ...

24 March 2014, 12:03 AM
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1 comment: thelmaallen80