I Don't Know What To Do...

I'm tired of everything. I am to a point where I want to hurt myself or hurt someone else. The anger is so strong I can feel it. I have stopped myself from cutting so many times now. I don't know how longer I can continue. I feel as if I am going to lose it at any moment. I am just a bomb waiting to be set off. It's not healthy to feel the way I do. I try so hard to stay calm and happy, but It's so hard with everything going on. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what to do...

21 September 2014, 04:11 AM
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1 love: ijustwannabelittleoldme
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Goodbye Hair

Lately my hair has been falling out. It's not too bad. It's just my hair line is now thinning out. It's really bad for me mentally, because I am trying to grow my hair out again and keep it healthy. My mom says it's probably from stress since I stress myself out a lot. She's probably 99.9% right. I do stress myself out a lot and I can't seem to stop it. I have anxiety disorder really bad and I have tons of problems (just like everyone else) that I am worried about. Even when I am sleeping I a...

18 July 2014, 03:17 PM
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Facing My Bully Pt 2

He left for work leaving me on the ground. When he left I stood up and called my mom. I would've never did that if he didn't give me the idea. The only thing that was going through my mind was to runaway or kill myself. (Since 7th grade I have wanted to runaway and I was going into the 10th grade. Nothing changed that much. I am about to be in the 11th grade and I still think about running away.) I picked up the phone and at this point I was trying to control my shaking. I explained to my mom...

05 July 2014, 04:09 PM
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1 love: lilpammie
1 comment: lilpammie
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Facing My Bully Pt 1

I failed to write this down since so much was going through my head at the time, I really don't want anyone to think I am getting physically abused, and if anyone happens to scan across this page that knows me that would be bad. I try to be picky about what I say on here about certain personal stuff since I don't want anyone to know my true identity. I want to be able to come here and let my heart pour when I have no one to go to. For many years I have been going through emotional abuse, but ...

05 July 2014, 03:29 PM
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Guess What?!

While I was away I have been going through things. One thing I care to actually write about at the moment is...I found out I am bisexual. Yay! Yeah, it took me that long to figure it out, but at least I finally did. I thought it was going to be a question I would hold forever. I really like guys and I really like girls. I like them equally, but I am more picky about my girls surprisingly. I don't know why. Strange thing is I never thought I would be a bisexual or a lesbian. I thought I wa...

05 July 2014, 12:31 AM
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Life. 2/7/14

Life. Life at the moment for me is very pointless and boring. I absolutely hate life with a burning passion. It feels like I am going through a constant cycle. I see the same things and the same faces in the same places. It seems like there is no escape from it all. I feel very hopless. Just dead. So much has happened to make me feel like I've hit rock bottom once again. This chick who is suppose to be my best friend is making fun of me and doesn't care. This guy who isn't cute likes me a ...

08 February 2014, 02:06 AM
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1 love: blaqkn8
2 comments: lilpammie,blaqkn8
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Christmas was pretty chill this year. Usually I sit at home and do almost nothing, but this year was different. I am in New Mexico right now to visit family members. New Mexico is a really cool place. I like the western styled houses, culture, and the people. The weather is the only thing I question. I'm not sure if I like it or not. The presents I received were nice. Everything was great this year, but something happened that ruined everything for me. My cousin and my aunt kept making commen...

26 December 2013, 11:36 AM
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My relationship with the Razor.

Some days I feel like I am losing it. My thoughts race as they smear into a blur. A blur of confussion, fear, and sadness covered by pure unstoppable rage. There is nothing to do about it, but to sit there and breath it all in. I feel the weight of my feelings crush me so hard that it sends me into an anxiety attack. A panic. A panic that makes me want to do nothing, but kill myself. Kill myself to be free from the pain that I constantly endure everyday. I grab my razor to end it all yet I...

09 December 2013, 04:19 PM
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2 loves: MEEEZ15,blaqkn8
2 comments: MEEEZ15,blaqkn8

People: Assuming

I hate when people assume things about other people. People always assume things about me and I can't stand it. Even the people who are closest to me assume things about me. If I'm lesbian I will tell you. If I'm being impatient I will tell you. If I have a crush on someone I will fuckin' let you know!!!

07 December 2013, 04:39 PM
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3 loves: MEEEZ15,jlwilson101,blaqkn8
1 comment: MEEEZ15
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Home doesn't feel like home.

As I walk closer and closer to my house I feel the urge to runaway. With each step I hesitate not knowing what might be waiting on the inside. Thoughts rush in my head making it hard to think straight. All I can do is continue, because where else can I go? I get to the porch and look around for a bit. Stalling for more freedom I decide to look around. Nothing has changed. The plants my mother left is still dead, the grass could use some care, and the brick is dusty like always. Realizing t...

30 November 2013, 09:25 PM
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2 loves: MEEEZ15,blaqkn8
2 comments: MEEEZ15,blaqkn8
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I love holidays. They are a time to just slow down and enjoy life.

30 November 2013, 08:26 PM
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1 love: MEEEZ15
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I Miss Being Me: Fashion

I wonder why I let people get to me. I was finally where I wanted to be, but I let others ruin it. I'm so stupid. I have always been into fashion. One style I really like was this darker kind of style. Even when I was in elementary school I have always liked people who dressed darker. Well, all through middle school I dreamed of dressing in a darker style, but I couldn't. My parents were still trying to buy my clothes for me. Finally when I got towards the end of 8th grade I had a lot...

27 November 2013, 12:14 AM
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1 comment: MEEEZ15
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Why?

Why does this always happen to me? When I have something to say nobody listens, but then when I get upset and stay silent it's like I finally exist. Am I annoying everyone and nobody wants to tell me? I should just fight for attention like this other chick I know. Everyone hates her, but at least everyone listens to what she has to say now. I just don't know what to do anymore...

16 November 2013, 06:26 PM
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2 loves: Sorry-That-Im-Alive,MEEEZ15
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Early Present

Today was a pretty okay day. Not much happened, but what happened was chill. On the bus a friend of mine started to chat about video games. A little later after that she randomly told me that she wants to find a gaming buddy. Surprisingly I was looking for a gaming buddy too. That. was. perfect! When I got home today I got the new laptop. It's that computer that also has an iPad format. When I saw the commercial I thought it was a stupid idea, but turns out I really like it. The w...

15 November 2013, 07:30 AM
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I wish i was pretty...

This is kind of lame, but it's true. I wish I was pretty. I know that being pretty doesn't fix everything, but it helps a lot. It's just how the world works sadly and this wasn't the first time I had realized this. I decided instead of feeling sorry for myself I should change this. While everyone is stuffing down turkey I will be in the gym. Also I should try different makeup ideas. I kind of need to brighten my face up, because I have a very dark look to me. I look sad all the time. Th...

14 November 2013, 04:12 AM
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1 comment: Sorry-That-Im-Alive

HIM: Da***

I can't really be mad at him. He is guy after all. I wish he wasn't such a player thou. It's just he is so hot that everyone thinks so too. Every time you see him he is being followed by a flock of girls. I want him to want me too, but that won't happen.

02 November 2013, 11:54 PM
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1 comment: Sorry-That-Im-Alive

November Birthday

Anyone who follows me or comes across my page can see that I barely come to this site. This November that's going to change. November is my birthday month and this birthday I'm going to receive my own laptop. Which makes me so happy. :)

02 November 2013, 11:40 PM
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Forgive and Forget

I'm trying to forgive what you did to me. I really am, but I'm having a hard time. I look at your face and all I see is the lies you told me, the abuse I went through, and the nights I wasted crying. You said you understood what I was going through. Then why am I weak in your eyes? Why am I the one with the bad attitude? Sorry for not being the happy all the time. You tell me that you miss me and I know we never hug anymore. I see you're trying hard to get back what we had, but we ...

01 September 2013, 04:52 PM
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1 love: paulydias
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Morning Feels

Everyday when I wake up in the morning the first thing I feel is nothing. After a few minutes then it hits me. I feel regret, anger, and sadness. Soon it sinks in then I wonder to myself why haven't I killed myself yet?

22 August 2013, 06:38 PM
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1 love: paulydias
2 comments: cdigman88,Sorry-That-Im-Alive

The Begining

Hey. I'm that girl you always pass, but you never notice. If you took one look at her you'd know from the start you don't care what she has to say. In your mind you're probably thinking " Wow. Look at her, she is shy. Weak. What does she have to complain about? Stupid suburb kid. " Yet the sad part is you're mistaken. She isn't shy, she chooses to stay silent. If you took sometime to listen you'd be surprised by what you find out. She isn't weak, because she has been through more than she s...

22 August 2013, 07:26 AM
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2 comments: paulydias,Sorry-That-Im-Alive