What does he think?

When he sees me from the other side if the park. Does he think about what could have been? When we are sitting at the opposite side of the bench. Does he think about what happened? When he sees my brother- does he still remember I exists. Slowly, I know I'll forget about him aswell

01 October 2013, 09:15 PM
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Feeling...neglected

I haven't seen my friends in a while because I've been away with my family. I miss them. Sort of. I guess. I have a huge lack of girl friends around to talk to. To be honest. I'm always the one there for them, cheering them up when they are down. The listening ear. But who is there for me when I need an ear to talk to?

22 September 2013, 11:19 PM
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Back to my favorite spot

The sun is out and shining. I'm in why short jeans and my see-through black vest top. And I'm sitting in one of my favorite sports in the world. The tanning bed by the pool. My music is full volume and all my worries seam so far away it's crazy. Just realized I've been using this diary for a month now! Yay!

18 September 2013, 12:28 PM
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Why on earth

Why do I still feel like the third wheel a year later? Most the time it's amazing. I feel like I don't belong anywhere else better then with them. Other times I feel like the lame side friend they forget about. Whatever. They are all being bitches today.

17 September 2013, 11:32 PM
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The dragon in my dreams

I'm walking in the middle of nowhere. In my dream. I come across this very big dragon statue that I've seen before in another dream. It's colored orange and red and it's moving around. It gives this speech about how bad life is. Then the colors change behind him. You see dragons flying. He moves around and says but he knows it will be ok. Because we always have a chance to start over tomorrow. And that everything will be ok.

17 September 2013, 11:56 AM
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I know it's a little early but...

Things I wish for my self this year This year I want to make new friends and get closer with ones I already have. I want to have some sort of boy drama but not one that will really upset me. A boy friend wouldn't be bad but it's not at the top of my priority list. I want to do my very best at home work, tests and exams. Especially in Arabic. I want to keep my scores up. I want to start running once it gets darker earlier and maybe even loose a little thigh weight. I want to grow my hair long....

14 September 2013, 06:02 PM
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Where did I go wrong?

This week was definetly not fun. Or easy. When I wasn't stressing about school I was thinking about him. I decided not to apologize for my bitchy behavior because it would only lead to him being hurt again. And to be honest- he probably doesn't give a shit. I spoke to a few friends. They also agreed it was best. At least I'm having fun with my friends so I'm happy they are here. Another friend I haven't seen in years just moved back and I'll probably see her next week. Woohoo.

13 September 2013, 08:43 AM
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Bring back summer

I haven't written in a few days now. I've mainly been busy with school and with my friends. It's late at night and I can't fall asleep. I can't stop thinking about the summer. Walking around Venice, cheering at a soccer game in Brighton, shopping at the west end and relaxing in Devon and Salcombe. It all seems so far away from me and I miss it so much. But that's not the only thing I'm up thinking about. It's also because that stupid boy. I feel like such an idiot even thinking about him. I...

07 September 2013, 09:50 PM
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It's been a long day

6:30 I'm already out of bed. I got on a bus and had a long boring day at school. Including a test on the first week. Thank you mrs. Biology bitch. I also got my exam results back. Everyone keeps telling me I did well and that I should be proud. But honestly, If anything I feel disappointed and that I could have done better. I got home, changed and went to my work out class. Only to meet new people that joined. And this tall skinny girl that made me feel like a potato. Then I went to babysit f...

01 September 2013, 09:52 PM
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Do you know the feeling?

Know the feeling when you want to give it a chance but when you get the chance you just freak out? you feel you've known him for years but in reality you've never had a real conversation? When you want to get closer but you're too scared to hurt him? I do. And I've been living it for a while. On and off. I met him about a year ago and knew the second I saw him something would happen. Then we spoke, mainly by text. Is that where we went wrong? I don't know. He asked me if I'd want to go to a...

31 August 2013, 10:27 PM
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Biology out my ears

I have not put my biology book down in about 12 hours and I'm loosing it. Thank god Im going out with my friends later so it'll be ok. I've never written about them. It took me a while to find my group of friend. Actually, I only started to feel like part of them at the begging of last year. We are a group of about 9 boys and 6 girls. And I really Love them. Well, most of them. There is this new kid I don't like. He's insanely annoying. But I decided to give him a chance and see what happens....

30 August 2013, 04:52 PM
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Nervous

Today I am meant to find out my exam results. I'm a nervous wreck. And today is already yesterday and I only got 2 back. I'm not too happy but not devastated... That boy that said he liked me tried talking to day. To be honest I'd rather avoid any talking so it won't get more awkward than it already is. My brother is still pissing me off like hell. I only seem to write about him. I also have another 3 siblings. We are 5. Sometimes i love it. Sometime I can't stand it. Like when my brother le...

29 August 2013, 11:32 PM
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Just take a deep breath

I've been telling myself that the whole day. There is nothing I can really say, except that all I've been waiting for all day is to type whatever down right now. It seems to be the only thing that calms me down. My dad seems to be hating me for some unknown reason, I still can't look my brother in the eyes and I haven't spoken to that boy ever since he admitted he likes me in that message. School is strangling me and I don't know how to cope with it. And it's not even been a week since I've ...

27 August 2013, 10:12 PM
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Just another day

Well today was pretty much the same as yesterday. Stupid school work, biology studies. Oh and of course I'm still completely frustrated by the whole Arabic thing. Every time I think of it my eyes fill with tears. So I thought of things I can do. My answer was nothing. I can do nothing to protect my sanity and happiness, and that makes it all a million times more frustrating. So I figured all I can do is just wait and meanwhile practice it my best to prove myself, I don't know what yet. I also...

26 August 2013, 06:52 PM
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Stolen Arabic

I was bilingual since the age of 2 when I started talking. When I got to 7th grade I started learning Arabic at school. I never really liked it. Until one day in 9th grade when I suddenly fell in love with it. when I felt boring or just a copy of some other person, it was the one thing that set me apart. My own special spark with in the my family. I work as hard as I can and sometimes i regret not working even harder. But now I am heart broken. I'm crying over a language as stupid as it soun...

25 August 2013, 09:41 PM
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First day of school

Today I started my junior year. Fuck I'm getting old. I spent the whole day screaming and catching up with my friends (and farting) soon ill go out with my friends. I am completely exhausted from this long stupid day. Mainly the fact that I woke up at 6-fucking-thirty. Byea. :)

23 August 2013, 03:49 PM
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Bitch of a day

Today i was dragged on a fucking stupid trip with my family. I hated every moment, mainly because I was in agonizing pain thanks to my monthly freaking "gift". Only to come home and have my family drive me completely Insane. Then my dad was acting like a stupid teenager. That I am. Plus school starts in, well, tomorrow since technically it is Thursday for me now. And no, I'm bloody not excited to see the idiots in my class because they are weirdos and I definitely did not miss their ugly fac...

21 August 2013, 10:26 PM
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