Over it

Lately, I've really been resenting work and school. Although I'm done school for the summer, I keep thinking about the long school year ahead in September and I almost feel like opting out. With work, I hate the fact that I had to get a second job just to be able to pay my cell phone bill, save money, and have money to do things with. So, because of those reasons, I started playing the lottery religiously and I'm waiting until I hit the jackpot so I can start investing in MY OWN business. Ins...

07 June 2015, 12:55 PM
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Not Even A Day

I did it. I fucking did it. I knew I would too. As soon as I came home from work today, I opened my grinder to see what I could scrounge. I tried to unravel my roaches, but they were smoked right down to the core, of course. I rolled the tiniest most meaningless spliff in the history of tiny meaningless spliffs lol . There were a few crumbs left in my grinder and I scraped all the THC from the bottom compartment. It was the size of my pinky nail, literally. I did me SOMETHING, nothing signifi...

28 May 2015, 02:17 AM
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Done.... For Now

I smoked the last bit of my weed yesterday. I'm going to TRY and give myself a break from it. My tolerance is going up and everyone knows that once your tolerance goes up it's not as fun anymore. Instead of smoking half of a 1 paper by myself, I smoke the whole thing now. I'm not sure if its me or the supply. My dealer hasn't had the best shit lately. I'm mentally addicted. It mellows me the fuck out. I can just zone out and watch TV or read my book. The only problem is that it makes me lazy ...

27 May 2015, 02:15 PM
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Project Me

This summer I am going to dedicate it to making MYSELF happy. Stop looking for other peoples approval or praise. I'm going to keep it real low key. Do things I've always wanted to like plant some seeds, something that requires a lot of maintenance. Write a book, or at least start one. Learn Spanish, learn how to meditate. Shit like that. I'll document my little projects here to keep track of myself. I'm excited and I hope I become an internally happier person. I hope I find my calling.

22 May 2015, 03:33 PM
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The Void

I feel so conflicted right now. Some days I wanna be the best possible me I can be. On other days I just want to sleep. I'm just so sick of the rat race of life. When will things start becoming fun? "After you finish working hard." That's the answer I always get, especially from my boyfriend. I'm tired of working hard! I don't want to give up on life (kill myself), but I just don't wanna fucking work anymore. I don't want to go to school anymore. I just wanna chill and do what makes me happy...

22 May 2015, 03:19 PM
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Journal_pane_8861781432276215

I told you weird shit was happening...

22 May 2015, 07:30 AM
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2:28 am

When you want to write something, but nothing comes out. It's like you aren't feeling emotional enough to write anything, not even creatively...

22 May 2015, 07:27 AM
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Cloud of Negativity.

So I have to do shit this summer. It sucks, growing up. Responsibilty is a bitch. I mean I like making my own money and everything, but sometimes I'd rather just give it all up and live on a farm in a tropical Island. What is it with me? Is it the city life? The cold weather? Because in the summer I have all the ambition in the world. Is it school? It might be. I fucking hate school.

21 May 2015, 04:19 PM
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WTF MATE

I just made this diary page last night and I wrote my first entry. I wrote about Project Me for this summer. This morning when I woke up I was feeling excited that I had opened my own little personal diary on my computer and now my first bloody note is gone. It was the perfect first entry. I can't deny the fact that I am extremely peev'd. Now if I attempt to write it again it will feel so fake, because really, now, this is my first entry. The whole set up even looks different. This feels like...

21 May 2015, 02:13 PM
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