I've fallen in love

In the begining you told me we'll figure it out if we have a fight..you told me we would talk about it...Yet you still haven't responded to my text...I asked you to please call me, you didnt... And im still hoping. I've cried more than id like to admit and tears are building up in my eyes again. Ive fallen for you....and im starting to believe all you said was just a ruse...

I can't remember who I wrote these about. There is only one that it's very clear to me, the one about regret and i still do, i still do. I guess most of them were about that same person.A lot has happened since and I still think of you. I miss you and I will miss you so much when you leave for college. I gave away a piece of myself to every friend I ever made and now, I'll be the emptiest I have ever been in my life.And empty is the only thing i could feel for along time. But now, this is ex...

I feel like there is some sort of secrecy between us, when we chat online or text, like no one is supposed to know we get along, that we are friends outside of school. I remember one time you called me and you wanted to chat, to tell me about your night but I was busy,my dad was supposed to arrive and I still regret ending that conversation,maybe if I didn't cut you off then we would've been better/closer friends .But I like it,somehow it's special, only the two of us, our thing, out late nig...

I wonder if anything will happen before I leave. There's still a part of me that hopes,along with the one that is confused by the way you act around me. Right next to the one that turns into a little green monster that feeds on jeaulosy. Beside the little bundle of joy that grows a bit every time you touch me or you let me touch you.

I've thought about you a million times these past days, but I don't feel like I miss you. I don't feel that longing need to see you and I guess that is a good thing. Maybe I'll get used to not seeing you every week day quickly and maybe I'll come back without feeling shattered.

You were running with balloons in your hand and I calmly thought "I'm in love with an idiot" :D It's not the first time I've thought about it, but it was for the first time I was actually looking at you and was able to form the proper words

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You made me smile today :)

Blue

I am suddenly aware of every single blue object I have in my house. I never realised I am surrounded by this much, but I do now. And i can't help but think of you. I believe you have a problem with the colour blue but you say it's just your favorite color. Should I hate blue things? They make me think constantly of you and I still hope we are meant to be something.Something big, something to be remembered.

I haven't felt like this in a long time, you driveme crazy and make me so mad. But you are my favourite person,damn it. And I want to get to know you better. I let myself burn all the bridges and set my imagination free. I've imagined us going to uni together, sharing an apartment and slowly falling in love.I have never done that and it scares the hell out of me. Sometimes I think you feel the same way, that you imagine all of this too. But then you go back in your shell. You make a move and...

You are my favourite person Edit: I can't remember who I wrote this about.

I'm scared.I'm falling and there is no one to catch me.I'm all alone in this messed up place that's my head. And i am confused,so confused. How i got here,i have no clue.Somehow it all slipped,i lost my anchor. I'm slowly drifting away from reality,i am slowly breaking apart.

I have not written in a long time, but it seems like my problems are the same. I'm more confused and worried but everything is the same... I got back on track with a friend and i wonder how we can start talking again after a long period like nothing changed between us. It is obvious e only need eachother when we want to talk,when we need a confidant. Even though everything seems the same, i can feel myself slowly falling apart, gradually leaving reality and getting stuck in my head more ...

I have a hard time grasping the signals you're trying to send.I dont know if you like mo or not.im confused but i still hope.I still hope...

My feet are cold and I'm sad.

Friendship

And now i know that our friendship is over.now i know that i am not needed and not wanted,or maybe i dont know,but it feels like this.This will be your last birthday spent with me,maybe this will be it. That will be the moment all your dreams crash and all our plans disappear. I've fucked up,it's all my fault and i'm sorry.So sorry. But i can't fix this not anymore i can't ignore this anymore.i'll miss you,probably a part of my heart will always be with you.There were reasons for my staying o...

How can i help her when i can't help myself? How can i make her laugh and smile when all i wanna do is scream and cry? I'm trying,not hard enough i could change everything it doesn't take that much but i cant im stcuk in my head.no no ,it's not i can't it's i dont want to. I need to feel love to know i'm not worthless so i can actually change something,to know someone cares and im not so alone.

I'm tired and you're starting to piss me off. maybe i'll hate you someday.

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I should stop, before i fall in love with you, before you'll be able to break me,before i fall too deep.I should gently push you away.I don't mean stop talking to you,i just need to protect myself and i don't know any other way to do it. You're funny and cute and i'm fucked up. I don't want to mess you up, i need to build my walls back up. Probably i'll see you tomorrow,feel your eyes on me and forget everything but at least i need to know i tried.