Journal_pane_9805521398214962

Smoking

Because it tastes like your bitter kisses.

23 April 2014, 02:02 AM
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Journal_pane_9805521398190693

I don't expect you to know me. I don't expect you to try to get to know me. Everything I am, everything I've seen, felt, experienced has made me. IF I let you in, then don't use that as a weapon to cut me open. No one deserves that, we all deserve to be able to trust others, to rely on others even though every fiber screams at us to keep strong alone. Be strong, I don't know you, but you deserve to have someone to trust. I shall not judge, I shall not provide betrayal for I am me, and I shall...

22 April 2014, 07:18 PM
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Journal_pane_9805521398103668

Second Chances

Sometimes the world just doesn't make sense. Sometimes nothing adds up. Sometimes we just need to clear our heads and try again. But the way we do it conflicts. What's your way of clearing your head? Smoking with it's nicotine that calms you? Cutting with it's release that makes you see clearer? Sleeping with it's dreams that make no sense? Writing where you just ramble everything until finally it makes sense? Everyone has their own ways, but maybe we should sit down and write what makes us w...

21 April 2014, 07:07 PM
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Journal_pane_9805521398090127

Throwback

A letter from 2013 that i just found last night when going through an old journal:/// It's pretty hot out today. My AC keeps turning on and it's kind of annoying. I decided to try and do this. It's probably not going to be cheap it I actually decide to do it every day like I plan to initially. Today hasn't been the best day in the world. I can't keep food or water down. I guess that's okay though. I cried my heart out last night to you. I think if you weren't here I'd be a lost cause. You ma...

21 April 2014, 03:22 PM
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Journal_pane_9805521397799829

Nothing

Your voice stirred my heart and sent it beating faster, your words served to break it. Your face was placid as it spoke out to me telling me that this future held nothing. How could I have been so stupid to think that we could go on forever? That's the future you saw for us. Nothing. I saw a house, a wedding, a family and you saw nothing. You found the cracks in my heart and chiseled them deeper. You wanted to wait for a future we could be together, then you changed. You left me standing ther...

18 April 2014, 06:44 AM
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Journal_pane_9805521397596792

Muderer

Each life is a movie, all holding special casts, each holding a different role that melds into so many more. And honey, I am the star of mine, or I should be, but you dear love, you've ripped out my soul. Crept inside of me and detached every fiber from me and forcibly tore it from me. All that remains is an empty shell that you left behind. Each action you take, is a punch, a chip against my porcelain exterior. I can only watch you in silence, in futile and empty words. For you were a starri...

15 April 2014, 10:20 PM
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Journal_pane_9805521392685889

The consiquential decision

When leaving high school each person is faced with the option to pursue higher education or take another alternative route. In today's society it is almost impossible to not see a parent urging a child to college. There is the economy which drives big companies to be able to say that they have more than enough people to replace the ones who want to complain or take days off. This leads to a benefit for them but a great fall for the minor man. I myself have a hard time with this. I am fortunat...

18 February 2014, 01:11 AM
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Journal_pane_9805521392578415

To the Downtrodden

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" as goes the common saying. I agree. Each person has seen their share of hardships. And each person has to motivate themselves to get up and keep moving. I know what it's like to stand in darkness thinking that you'll never see the world. I've felt how horribly exhausting it is to try so hard and never see progress. I am not alone. Anger, hatred, despair, any negative things we experience are just a part of life. Take these bluebonnets for example. T...

16 February 2014, 07:20 PM
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Journal_pane_9805521392570532

The broken, barren Soul

No one has the right to judge another person without first knowing who they are, what they have been through, where they have been and what they have seen. There are certain things that we as humans want to achieve. Acceptance, partnership, loyalty, and most of all, love. There are many like us, those who are "star-crossed" and those who are blissfully happy. The problem is when one party feels they do a lot for the other and that the other has no more care for them. The moment you think that...

16 February 2014, 05:09 PM
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Journal_pane_9805521392508256

He bore an icy heart heat

Things have been going hard lately and it feels as if love eludes my aching hands and my exhausted soul. Winter has rooted itself into my heart and encased everything in ice. Maybe that's why they say I'm the ice queen. I can't say things are ever as black and white as they imagine though. Recently I have lost someone so dear to me that it is as if someone has ripped out not only my heart, but my soul along with it and sent both spiraling into a pit of darkness that they call loneliness. It's...

15 February 2014, 11:51 PM
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