its been a while....and for today, my picture sums it up, i'm absolutely in love with this aubrey hepburn quote...
well its monday. i have a bazillion phone calls to make and some things to mail and i'm just not feeling it. my asthma is horrible, so i'm not feeling that good. i'm mourning my failed relationship. its just a blah kind of day. but i'm still here, that counts for something right?
the bf is now the EX-bf, and quite an asshole
well, my former bf, the one who broke up with me 3 mos after my dad died and 2 days before thanksgiving came over to my house on december 30th and told me he wanted to try and work on things. well apparently not, cause i did all the trying while he did nothing at all as far as the relationship goes. nothing. he didn't text me. he didn't call me. he came over maybe once a week so i could make him dinner and suck his dick or fuck him. he didn't say nice things to me. he didn't once take me out ...
Friday Friday Friday
not that it means much to me these days is i have not worked in 7 mos! in a way i cannot believe its been that long. 3 mos of it was due to my dad being sick and passing away and the rest has been emotional struggles combined with laziness and a small amount of fear! i haven't had to look for a job in 16 1/2 years! anyways, i am having some major dental work done and i'm not sure when those appts are taking place but once i have them laid out, i have no excuse to not start looking. on other f...
Radness (a music poem)
Music is rad, and sometimes it rocks, music is rad and sometimes i lose socks. This is been your Thursday Rocks musical pom
well, i guess, i should be calling this more something like: sleep. the end. couldn't last night very well, so did today and didn't get up till 6 pm. so now i'm paying the price. on top of that, i have so many phone calls to make that i had every intention of doing , which obviously i didn't, cause i was sleeping....so it is what it is. all i can do is try tomorrow. phone calls. exercise. eat. sleep at normal time. we shall see....bwah bwah bwah...and now....songpop!
me and my honey
well me and my sorta honey at this time. but he and i dated just over two years before he broke it off right before thanksgiving 2013. right after christmas he came back and said he wanted to try. its not been going exactly wonderful, but we had yet another talk yesterday and i'm encouraged. this pic was may of 2013 at my former boss's wedding. i love him...i hope the odds are in our favor!
so, i've posted a few things on here about the struggles and confusion with getting back together with my bf. last night i pretty much laid it all on the table with him, cuz he was being so distant and lame, i had nothing to lose, cuz what was happening now and the last two weeks was not gonna fly, i can't live like that. and it went surprisingly well. so we are keep trying at a slow pace....we both admit we do have fun together and want to see where this can go and for right now since we are...
ahhhhh yeahhh baby!!!
the seahawks are going to the superbowl! i very much wish my dad were here to see it! I have a good feeling! my cousin and I are gonna send our positive winning vibes out into the universe so they can win for my dad! :) go hawks!
the park in wildnerness rim, north bend washington
this is just a photograph i took with my phone. its the park by the house where i grew up and where my father lived until he passed away this last september...so he lived in this area for 34 years...same house and everything... i think it turned out pretty awesome, so in the middle of all my confusion, being distraught and all that bf bullshit, i thought i will post a pretty nature picture! lighten up a bit !
it just keeps getting more and more awesome with the bf. it feels horrible. i just don't get how he can approach me and want to give it a shot. specifically talk about things he needs to work on and well as stuff i ned to work on and then do absolutely nothing. hardly spends time with me, hardly talks or texts me. i have asked him several times to come over lately and its no every time...he doesn't want to take me out cause of money yet he spends money on everyone else in his life. i don't kn...
thinking about you papa
so last year we watched the playoff game together, when the seahawks almost won, but didn't...it was a great, frustrating game...i'm thinking about you today papa...I love you and miss you!
clear its not.
i love this quote/photo i found. its exactly how i feel. wow. kinda cool to find something like this and relate to it, it reminds me i'm not the only one...
this is Jovee Denten! we actually just call her Jovee, the Denten is after another kitten that was my dear friend's cat that just disappeard one day, and how it got to be denten is too long of a story! anyways we adopted her from the county, she had a broken hip, but before we actually took her home it got fixed....she is not quite a year and a half and she is so curious and frisky and has crazy eyes all the time. i just love her!
this is one of my kitties...her name is libertie belle, but she goes by belle, belle belle, bella bella, you know, anything but her actual name. a former roommate and dear friend rescued her in chelan, washington and we bottle fed her and got her healthy! I love my bella bella! she is 2 and a half now!
well i'm going out on a limb here, cause this is something i would normally journal about privately, but fuck it. i have a guy that i dated for two years, we lived together, he said all the right things, just didn't do all the right things...he broke up with me 3 mos after my father passed away after misleading me and my father in a horrible way....however, i feel he is so oblivious to shit, that he truly didn't do it on purpose, but none the less, it was a horrible time and 2 days before tha...
this is me!
i think its fun to see what people look like....my graduation photo is a ridiculous representation of me, so i'm posting this current one...yes my hair is blue! i'm about to change it though. waiting to see what the seahawks do as i'm a seattlite! i didn't color it blue for the seahawks, but everyone has commented on it in that regard, i might as well keep it blue a bit longer, its not gonna happen again. blue has been the hugest pain in my ass. all the unnatural colors are, but blue is the w...
Don't fix me
This is what I need my boyfriend (if i should even call him that, he's not much of one right now) to know...i'm having such a hard time with this bullshit we are going through, its taking everything in me not to call it off. cause i know if i do, thats it. and if thats what should happen, then fine, but i don't want to be hasty or over react. i just don't know what to do. but i do need to fix myself, i have a lot of shit to deal with, and it would be nice if he could love me through it, but i...