Monday/Friday/nighttime

I watched a documentary the other night and the main subject made a statement. I dont remember the exact words. But it was at a point in the film where she mentioned losing the knowledge of what day and time it was. She always referenced that to feeling a sense of freedom... These days i often forget what day it is. And the clock seems to confuse me. But it doesnt make me feel free. It makes me feel crazy. My mind is set to California time. And the days are so long that it doesnt even matter ...

15 December 2014, 05:45 PM
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Welcome to December.

Last Holiday season was one of the worse holiday seasons I have ever had. And as we were embarking the season this year my hopes were held high. Why? I have no idea. I cant seem to get rid of the feeling that these holidays just need to hurry up and get outta the way. I wish i could just sleep on right through them... Or sleep at all for that matter. Since the day Vitality came into my life, things have been a bit fuzzy. Joyous and grateful of course. But fuzzy. My visions a little blurry an...

12 December 2014, 04:52 PM
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...

The weight of my own words have always seemed to hold me down. Perhaps thats why as much as i want to write. I dont ever do anymore. I dont want to be held down anymore. I wish words didnt even exist. But im bursting at my seems. I feel like i have so much i need to express. And i need to do it now now now now. But if i hold it all in maybe time can just stand still. Im terrified of everything rightnow. Im terrified of life. And im terrified of losing it. My grip is kinda of slipping here. A...

13 October 2014, 03:05 AM
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No Title.

When my father passed away i promised myself, and looked forward to fitting his name in my sons name somehow. I still will someday. I found out on Thursday that the little blessing thats making my tummy flutter is a beautiful girl. I couldnt be more excited. Its makes me sad how people are taking this. Like giving birth to my child makes my love any different than the love that i have for the two that are already with me. It breaks my heart really. Just because children are adopted into a fam...

15 July 2014, 04:16 AM
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2 loves: BlindBliss,arielaunnah
1 comment: arielaunnah

Lesbian Mom?

So i rarely click explore in the lower left hand corner of my screen, but i guess today i was feeling adventerous. I came across a diary entry that was rather shocking and dissapointing. It was rather short and not written in the best form. And i wont even get into the actual details of it. But i will brief you... It was a poorly written entry about gay people being the same as a pathological liar or having pre-marital sex... and reffering to all three as "sinful nature" ... Now I dont even k...

09 July 2014, 08:44 PM
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1 love: arielaunnah
3 comments: arielaunnah,izzapella

Happy Ninth of July, Italy

I spent the past weekend in the hospital. Strange doctors. Creepy hallways and the hugest mountain on top of me.... Leaving that place on sunday, changed my life. So Ashley and I took it to the beach. We had the lightest, brightest, free-est, freshest day i have ever experienced. Being that she came to Italy in a heartbeat for me. I decided to give her an american independence day, since its her fave holiday and she missed the one back home. Watching her smile and laugh today has changed s...

09 July 2014, 08:11 PM
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1 love: arielaunnah
1 comment: arielaunnah

Taking flight.

I was never the type of girl that loved surprises. Perhaps, because everything in my life despite how predictable, always came as a surprise to me. But at this moment... I am not surprised. When something big happens. I always want to drive. Drive far. Drive long. Drive up ways. And down ways. Drive sideways. And all ways, that could make me burst but right now i just want to fly... There isnt anything here now. And over states, oceans and provinces the winds are pulling me begging me to move...

05 June 2014, 09:53 AM
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1 love: arielaunnah
1 comment: arielaunnah

May.

Suppose Im to old for this now. Im not sure what it says about me. Being here. Doing all this. I guess it says as much as it always has. 5/23/2014 Dear Self, get your shit together. So i did it. Last week i made it back to Italy. Im not calling this a crossroad. Im not confused about anything current in my life. Everything now is all about moving forward as focused and dedicated as I can. Many have called me ridiculous or unfair. In reference to my most recent actions involving Baily. Perhap...

24 May 2014, 12:05 AM
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chirp chirp

I hear birds chirping at the most random times these days. Im like, wtf birds? Why are you hanging outside my bedroom window, at my bedtime? Or maybe theyre always there? And i only hear them when my mind settles down. My minds been settling down a lot lately. Tho everyone has been treating me like a super thin delicate piece of glass. As if im more of a mess than i was before. When infact i think im more put together these days. Maybe im lying. Its hard for me to tell if im okay anymore. I s...

24 April 2014, 03:06 AM
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Autocorrect..

I wish that was a thing in real life. Just as you drive away from something... Some unknown force turns you around and brings you back before anything painful or dangerous happens. But maybe it is a thing. Somethings you just know all along. Not exactly as wrong. Or a mistake. But dangerous. Or predictable. But i guess sometimes the predictable has to happen. Or maybe not. Ive been trying to find clues. As much as ive been trying to put so much behind me. Its like equal. Cause the more you do...

10 April 2014, 09:10 AM
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...

For the past twenty minutes ive been sitting here trying hard to find away to to remember this exact moment. It can be the movie playing in Destinys room. Or the song that just played twice on the same radio station. Or maybe its a book. A book i seem to pick up and put back over and over again. I dont know if i need it or not... Baily went to church alone today. And i stay here, in my pajamas sorting out our entire house. Theres no easy way to anything, not for me anyway. I dont want anythi...

29 December 2013, 04:42 PM
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Maybe.

And maybe one day, she'd like to see me. In which i will patiently wait for that invitation... Maybe the stars just arent what i believed they were, and they really are panning things out as they should be. I always say things like "i never thought this" or "i never thought that" ... All because i felt misplaced like i need to be with her instead of where im at. But maybe i just said those things not cause i need to be but cause its just what i want. Maybe if i stop trying to love her, itll a...

12 December 2013, 03:59 PM
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Journal_pane_8109151386402447

10:49

Des whole heartedly believes that while shes asleep, elves are drifting down our chimney to pick up her letter to santa... I dont know if thats a good or bad thing... I guess for now i will go with good... I wish unrealistic lists actually got checked off and made realistic... I wish 11:12's proved their weight of the previous minute mattered. I wish the saying "its never to late" was true. I wish the stars didnt just remain the same but the purpose we believe they serve was true. And althou...

07 December 2013, 07:47 AM
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1 love: CarinaTeal
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Dear No One,

And no im not talking about the Tori K song. I suppose im speaking to my own eyes here on this page. Which is relaxing to me. So self... What are you going to document now that the door is closed and the curtains down... Lets start with how i feel... Im happy. Im everything i guess. I never in a million years thought id be in the position i am in rightnow. Note to self: its 12/5/2013.. This year by far has been the hugest for me. I know people me say im wrong for a lot of choices ive made for...

05 December 2013, 05:47 AM
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And im back

If youre reading this then you saw the "subliminal" message i posted for about an hour or so on tumblr, twitter, fb, or on my personal insta. Ive decided to come back to this particular blog. I doubt anyone even reads this anymore and perhaps thats why ive returned. Being so public has prohibited me in so many ways. And the very reason why i left here. The the reason why ive returned. I dont care how many of you read this. Ive just been burying so much inside i need to put it somewhere and a ...

21 November 2013, 07:22 AM
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ok

Im going to be moving this blog. My entire purpose was to remain more disconnected from the public while still remaining available. Comments and regatherings and such are not something i am interested in. I will link you as soon as i figure it out. Until then, Two Feet In will be updated rather than this.

17 July 2013, 09:54 PM
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Laws of gravity.

Over the years I have blogged many times about the laws of gravity. Of course using that in a metaphorical sense to convey the feeling of emotions or just personal experiences. But everything I have encountered brings me right back to it. The laws of gravity, will never change. But the distance of the bounce does. Until everything is ripped away from you. Then there is just nothing. Just remember that.

14 July 2013, 07:01 AM
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From Journey to Journey.

Its a funny thing to be accused of something that you swear you arent. Just to hang up the phone, settle into your seat and epiphanize and sum up the entire make up of you. Cause you realize that what you were being told wasnt to far from the truth. Back in Sienna I would drink, And I would run around, literally run around, my then girlfriend would just walk briskly after me, turning down whatever dark roads I did. And after awhile that stopped and she would just call me and ask "Dove l'hai t...

17 April 2013, 09:03 PM
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You can imagine

How different things are being back here in the states. It has been a few weeks and I'm still adjusting. Life is simple, nowhere. To be honest, and honest is the way I have been going. (Regginsss)... I've been living for what is in front me. the next step my feet take is all that matters these days. Things have been hard, things have been heavy. And things have been slow. But I am content. And still smiling. Because I have life. Which by the way, isnt promised until a breath has passed. Our v...

28 January 2013, 10:28 PM
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States away

And i still scan every establishment i enter. As if there is a slight true possibility I will get a glimpse of you. It'll probably be something I do for the remainder of my life.

28 January 2013, 10:12 PM
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