I want to cry...... But I just cant let it out.

I want to cry... but I can't. Im bout to cry but it just dosent come out. I feel like after all my loss that I some how without knowing it and just rewired my brain to be strong. I'm so used to trying to stay strong for all the younger kids around me, who dont understand when you look at it this world is a bad place, bad things happen, death, crime, greed, robbery, bad things happen and we just cant do anything about it. They're over there thinking that their nanna, jr, bubba,jailia, and her ...

25 December 2014, 09:37 AM
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1 comment: gymnast.jebby

I feelbroken..... (june 14.2014)

Right now I just feel like all the pieces just finally completely broke apart... charred.... I just feel like that feeling of "Nothing"is fighting with the sadness or that the sadness is deep down and I'm fighting to be okay. I feel like all the pieces just finally broke and just charred into a million pieces, like my heart just couldn't take it anymore, like my heart just finally had enough.......

25 December 2014, 09:24 AM
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starving my self without even trying. Why??

I just can't eat. I'm starving my seflf without even trying. New habit I guesss. Im so skiny alreay so why am I nnt wanting to eat I hate being as skiny as I already am. Why am I diving this to myself its thanks giving and normal I eat everything but. This year I maynhave taken eight bites top. I'm hungry but I just don't wanna eat. Wh am I doing this. Whats wrong with me all the pain and the surrfeing really comes to this.....

28 November 2014, 12:25 AM
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You are just all lies....

Ok, you say you havent slept in a month yeah right who would believe that no body. You soposably had 6 mental break downs, I don't know about that. It seems like everything you say is just a lie. Everything, its all lies, If i cant even believe a word that comes out of your mouth the how am i sopsoe to believe that you truly love me. You say you love me but everytime we fight after weeks, months and even years have gone by I'm always the one running back. I felt sorry for speacking my mind,...

25 June 2014, 10:18 PM
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2 loves: crystalmcqueeneygirllove,MyPessimisticThoughts
3 comments: MyPessimisticThoughts,crystalmcqueeneygirllove

truth is... #19

Truth is.... You mean so much to me.. but... I think its time to say good bye... Most importantly its my turn.. All my loss has caused me s much pain... but leaving you might just be worth it... in the end you have changed and I have changed.. we are both different now... I care... I just can't help out if I can't even help myself...

24 June 2014, 04:03 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is.. #17

Truth is.... You have brought smiles to my face... Tears to my eyes... Pain to my heart... And happiness to my soul.... But in the end I still can figure out how you truley make me feel...

24 June 2014, 03:59 AM
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2 loves: 9Whats-Life9,crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is #18

I miss those people who put a smile on my face.... and not one I using to hide my pain and tears.... I missing having people there to call my family.... people yo become the family I never had.... I miss them so much.... they were my everything.... but then I lost them.... therefore loseing everything.... everything I had..... everything I could ever want..... everything I could ever ask for.... leavening me.... gone.... forever

24 June 2014, 03:54 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is.... #16

I love who I am... I'm a beautiful girl living in a beautiful place, a wonderful world.... I love the life I am living... Even though there are plenty of days when I'm Hideing my pain and tears deep down in my soul... this is a beautiful world, a beautiful place.. a magical wonderland... despite all my loss... Im going to live this life as best I can... live in this beautiful place as well as I can.. cause I the end you know you don't have much time, cause I the end your days wil\ come to a...

21 June 2014, 12:45 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is... #14

Truth is.... Im crazy...... but in the best way a beautiful creature... with her flaws a good person... with her MANY bad days a person in pain but smileing through it trying to stay strong for her family and friends growing up faster than I should... but still living my life like a teen... losing more that I should.. and gaining so little losing the people who made me happy... losing too much of my self too fast...losing so much so fast at a young age.. Some days smiling when I'm really c...

21 June 2014, 12:35 AM
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2 loves: itaaji94,crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is... #13

Truth is... I am who I am... I'm NOT perfect... My past ISNT pretty.... but I am who I am... I'm NOT going to change for ANYONE .... and I'm NOT going to pretend to be someone I'm not... I am to be true NOT perfect and FAR from fake... forever and always..

21 June 2014, 12:28 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is.... #12

Truth is.... I lost a lot of people.... a lot of respect... a lot of happiness.. that every child needs a lot of truth.. that I'v been needing in my life... a lot of faith... a lot of opportunities.. that were stareing me right in the face but in the end I feel like I just lost who I was and maybe that's just what it is... I lost who I was... I lost who I am.. I lost who I used to be.. I lost a part of me that I can never get back.... but in the end that part of me is still there I just don'...

21 June 2014, 12:23 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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truth is.. #11

Truth is... I don't know what i'v been doing.. If just been doing... Truth is... I don't know where i'v been going.. If just been gone Got myself into a bad place... A place I don't wanna be in anymore.. wishing I can go back to the day I made it all wrong... :(

16 June 2014, 12:26 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
2 comments: kaitlync21836,crystalmcqueeneygirllove

Truth is.... #10

Truth is.... Some may say I'm broken... But my future is ahead.. I'm only 13, there's much more in store... Maybe things will get better.... maybe they won't.. but I'll smile through the pain of my past, my future, and my present... In the end everyone's happy... if everyone's not happy then I know its not the end.

16 June 2014, 12:20 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is... 9

Truth is....... I'v did my all..and lost it all.. Got so far.... and lost all progress.. Work so hard...and felt like giving up... But I dident... I worked harder... made it better than ever before... better than anyone else could.

16 June 2014, 12:18 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is..... #6

Truth is... I'm not perfect.... I'v made note mistakes then I can even count.... I've said things I shouldn't.. My mouth gets me in so much trouble.. My actions hurt many people in different ways... but I am stronger... I'm sorry for all the ways I hurt people in the past... I try my hardest to make a change but sometimes my old ways just take over...

16 June 2014, 12:13 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is.. #8

I've done bad things... My past is not pretty.... I'v climbed so high and fell.. but I've got back up ... and made a comeback... better and stronger than ever before.

16 June 2014, 12:12 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is.... #4

Truth is...... I kinda miss the way things used to be.... how everything seemed simple..... I know that people would tell me that I was only 10.. Everything seemed to be hearts and rainbows..... but things were still so much simpler..... life was great.

16 June 2014, 12:06 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is.... #3

Truth is.... I miss someone telling me that everything OK... Reminding me that life goes on.... That were not perfect... we make mistakes...but in the end its how you fix them and make them better I wish that I still had someone there to tell me these things Sometimes I just want someone there to tell me that everythings ok.... even though what I am doing is not... Someone to make me fell like I'm doing something right :(

16 June 2014, 12:03 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is.... #2

Truth is...... I don't care because.... I don't wanna get hurt You care too much....you get hurt I don't like that feeling... I don't wanna get hurt anymore :(

16 June 2014, 12:00 AM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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Truth is.... #1

No,I don't miss you No, I'm not sorry cause it wasent my fault No,I really don't care Yes, I do wish you were still her in my life >.<

15 June 2014, 11:57 PM
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1 love: crystalmcqueeneygirllove
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