Why

Why is it everytime my mother see's my I feel worthless. She's a good mom but she has this way of making me feel so bad about myself. Like everything wrong in this world is because of me. She never criticizes my brothers like she does me. I'm sorry I am not the neatest person ever. But I don't do drugs, I don't sleep around, I don't party, hell I don't even have a boyfriend. I do however get near perfect grades, spend alot of my time studying, and do anything I can to please her. I could be l...

26 January 2015, 07:51 PM
l
love
comment

Confused and ashamed

So today I stupidly (but accidentally) got by laptop screen cracked. Well I told my mom, and instead of getting mad like I though she would, she started crying. We are going through some tough times and we don't have a lot of money. Well she said that she felt bad that she couldn't get it fixed. My mom and I fight often but when she started crying and when she felt bad that she couldn't fix something that was my fault I just felt so ashamed. Here I am acting like a spoiled brat because I thin...

19 October 2014, 09:00 PM
l
love
comment

School school and more school

School is back in session (well sort of) school has been in and out for snow. Have you ever had that one teacher who was really tough but really awesome and funny. Well I got that teacher for world history. Anyway off the topic of school. Life is going pretty well right now I have been writing songs and it has really helped (if you want to see them https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3174662/1/My-sweet-angel) I have completely gotten over the guy and am now focusing more on school and less on guys...

29 January 2014, 02:46 AM
l
love
comment

Promise received..... Promise broken

When you make a promise to someone a person typically tries to keep them or at least remember them. Ok so I am a complete bookworm and my mum promised me a couple weekends ago to take me to the library or the bookstore. I got excited but in my mind I just knew that she would either forget or just not take me. Well the day she promised to take me not only did she forget completely, she took my younger brother to lunch. It hurt because not only did she forget but she did something with my spoil...

23 January 2014, 11:55 PM
l
love
comment

Its not freaking fair... life's not fair

Ok so I play the flute and my mom wants me to get a scholarship but she never lets me practice. How am I supposed to get a band scholarship when I can't practice. I'm already the fourth to last chair out of 11 because my mother made me wait to start band till 7th grade so I have only been playing the flute for 2 and a half years. That's two years behind what everyone else is at. What can I do!?!?!?!?

18 January 2014, 06:21 PM
l
love
comment

How's life

I guess I could say I have gotten over it. I am still a bit sad. But you know what? The other day I noticed that he annoys the crap out of me. I hate his attitude I guess I had high expectations but I noticed how much of a jerk he is. On the upside two exams done two to go. Oh yea does any one have any tips on how to get my kitten to stop meowing. She is adorable but she won't shutup

18 January 2014, 12:41 AM
l
love
comment

I did it.... And failed

Well I did it, I told him I liked him. And he said in the most disappointed tone ever "oh." I can't lie it broke my heart, I really liked him. At least I tried but it also made me feel that no guy would ever love me. That thought was quickly subsided when my best friend in the whole wide world told me to pretty much said stop telling lies. Ahh exams are coming up and I am terrified. Any tips?

14 January 2014, 10:20 PM
l
1 love: different
2 comments: thisisreallife,different

This is it

I am terrified but I know that if I don't take a shot I will be a coward. I have come to terms that if he doesn't like me I will be ok life is about taking chances. My best friend in the whole world said to me "No guy is worth your tears. And the one who is won't make you cry." There are other guys and even though I would really like it if he liked me back but life has a funny way of surprising you. On another note my first exams are coming up and I am beyond nervous. Especially since my scie...

13 January 2014, 12:11 AM
l
love
comment

Taking a shot

I guess I am at a crossroad here. Ok so a few months ago I told my friend who my crush was/is. Well today she was trying to match me up with him. Now I am not mad at her, in fact I guess I am kind of happy. She asked me if I wanted her to tell him that I liked him. I told her no and I wanted to do it myself. I am scared to death that he will hate me or laugh at me but everything goes back to regret. I don't want to regret not telling him I really like him.

10 January 2014, 10:13 PM
l
1 love: clairetree
1 comment: clairetree

Daily life

Wow this year is already going by so quick. I guess this year I am a lot more mellow one could say. I have learned that life is truly worth living. I am still the geeky girl who is a band geek and a book worm but I have broken more of my shell.

10 January 2014, 01:53 AM
l
love
comment

Regret

It is true regret is an interesting thing but it does help me. Life is hard and everyone needs their rock. For some people it is religion others it is family. My rock is thinking of the future instead of the past. Life is also interesting yet we still live it, love is interesting yet we still love. Everything has a exterior meaning but its all how you look at things I look as regret as a positive thing. I think of it as something that will keep me thinking. Thinking about what could have been...

01 January 2014, 03:15 AM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9695261388536151

Why am I me

Why was I even born. Its not like anyone gives a crap. None of my friends are ever truly there for me, my mom nags me 24/7, I don't have a boyfriend, my dad left, I have nothing going for me right now. But I am not going to kill myself because I am going to do something with my life and the people who hurt me now will regret everything they have ever done to me.

01 January 2014, 12:29 AM
l
love
comment