Day 25

9am: Wake up and I'm tired. Get showered and dressed to have the first counselling appointment. Feeling apprehensive but not nervous. I tell my friends that it's a doctors appointment. 11am: Go to the doctors and the two women at reception have a very unprofessional attitude and I get slightly annoyed but give neither a fake smile or a negative frown. 12pm: After the talk, I feel like I got a lot off my shoulders. I think the therapist tried not to cry, but I end up in tears talking abou...

14 April 2014, 11:19 PM
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Day 17:

8am: I have the morning off work to be able to meet my friend at the station. Try to do some last minute tidying up before she arrives. 11am: Meet my friend and we share a sandwich at the station. I'm feeling very happy and relaxed. I tell her that I'm on citalopram in case she starts to think my dips are from having her around. She's very understanding which is great. 1pm: Arrive home with her bags and to get her settled. Set off for work. Head feels fine and it feels like everything wor...

12 April 2014, 08:43 AM
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Day 16:

6.30am: Boyfriends' alarm goes off. Last night I kept waking up thinking he was still awake and worried he couldn't sleep. Turns out he was sleeping, it was just in my imagination. 8.20am: Slept through the alarm, got up and quickly got dressed to make my way to work. Head feels like it has a slight hangover, but did have half a bottle of rose last night. 9.30am: Get into work and am startving. Grab a blueberry, toasted seeds, honey and yougurt for breakfast. Start the day pretty slow wit...

03 April 2014, 10:12 PM
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Day 15

7.15am: After a lovely deep sleep, my alarm wakes me up again. I think about the vivid dream with choosing rooms in this hotel/flat. I snooze and then get up. Doesn't feel as difficult. 8.40am: I leave for work and this morning I felt like dressing sassy and I feel great. The sun is shining and it's going to be a warm day. For the first time in two weeks I put my headphones on and there's no headache. I'm so content I mouth along to the tracks on my motivation playlists and feel epic. ...

01 April 2014, 10:02 PM
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Day 14

7.15am: For the first time my alarm wakes me up! my head feel fine and I reminisce on the vivid dream I had with chickens. 8.30am: I'm showered and dressed and feel hungry but I'm in a rush to get to a hair appointment. I booked a student cut for the low cost but mainly to have a change for this life transition and to hopefully cheer myself up. 1.30pm: I haven't had a single thing to eat and I'm starving and late for work. I was lucky enough to have the director want to use my hair for a ...

01 April 2014, 09:51 PM
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Day 13

10am:Wake up today and my head feels fine. Like normal and it's nice. Had a good night sleep again after falling asleep to the hypnosis tape and can get out of bed fine. 12pm: quite peckish so I have a bacon sandwich. Feel happy and content to be around family and watching TV. 3pm: Have had two gin and tonics and feeling really light headed and merry. Eat a roast pork dinner and manage to finish mine before everyone else. Feeling really spaced out after at the table. Just feel happy to sit...

30 March 2014, 08:36 PM
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1 love: blaqkn8
4 comments: allisonbroadwater,experience-of-citalopram,blaqkn8 , ...

Day 12

9am: Wake up from a nice deep sleep. Scalp feel faintly sensitive when I touch it. Feeling hungry but want to use the time to listen to another meditation take on balancing out energy. I was sceptical before but wil try anything now to get back on my feet fast. It works really well and I feel ready to start the day with a clean slate and mind. 10am: Have breakfast, but the washing load on and tidy up the room I've been negleting for the last few months. Want to spend more time cleaning but ...

29 March 2014, 12:20 PM
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Day 11

7am: Boyfriends' alarm goes off but we snooze for a bit and have a cuddle. It made this morning easier to get out of bed at 7.30am. Head feels fine this morning. In the shower I find myself trying to balance in a strange position and try to straighten out but it takes focus to balance. 8.45am: Left for work late again today but not feeling stressed. Feeling really relaxed and content walking and on the bus. Manage to get in on time. 10am: Have cereal and feeling talkative this morning. The ...

28 March 2014, 09:05 AM
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Day 10

6am: Didn't bother to set an alarm past night but did set it in the morning to help with the snooze. Had a light sleep again last night, even with the hypnosis tracks. Went to bed at 10.30pm, maybe it was too early. Head feels fine, the weird spacial sensations have now stopped but it's still that bit sensitive to touch. In the shower I remember all of the emails I haven't replied to and the event invites I'm still not 100% wanted to go to. I realise I'm still anxious to be around people w...

27 March 2014, 09:03 AM
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1 love: prakash.reserve
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Day 9

3am: tried to sleep without the hypnosis tracks but turns out it does help with the sleep. Feeling a little panicked as though I've overslept. Right foot feels tingly and has the one off twitch. 7am: starting to think the bit of sunlight creeping in is what's making me wake up before the alarm. Head feels buzzing so I doze in and out of sleep until 7.40am again. Feels easier to get out of bed this morning. Noticed a slightly raised red spot on my thigh. It's itchy and hurts when I scratch...

26 March 2014, 08:59 AM
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Day 8

7am: Slept through the night but woke up early as the alarm doesn't go off for another 15 mins but I snooze until 7.40am. Have no motivation to get out of bed, the cacoon feels too nice. Usually I'm up and out but today my body feels really heavy. Head is sensitive but at it's mildest. Listening to the radio is ok this morning. Yesterday I had to put it on low volume. 8.30am: Quick shower and out on the way to work. It's raining which usually makes me want to curse but doesn't bother me tod...

25 March 2014, 09:38 PM
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Day 7

6.30am: Work up twice during the night but feel back to sleep quickly. Had some vivid dreams but not bad ones. Head feels sensitive and body feels tight and heavy. Want to stay in this warm cacoon but I know I need to get in the shower. Snoozed and listened to the radio until 7.15am. 8.40am: Left late for work this morning. Felt like a big effort to get ready. Got the bad news from the boyfriend that his nan passed and I feel sad and guilty for not being there but he said he'll be ok. 10am:...

24 March 2014, 06:38 AM
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Day 6

7am: Slept though 6 hours straight, feel really good this morning. Head doesn't feel abnormally large and sensitive to touch like it has done the past week but still have a light hangover feeling. 9am: Have cereal and tea. Goes down fine. 10am: Stomach feels settled. Feeling a bit tired still so I got back to bed to watch tv. Feeling muscle aches in my forearms and around the shins as if they're tight and need stretching. 1pm: Try to do some work but it's hard to concentrate. I'm well ...

24 March 2014, 06:35 AM
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Day 5

7am: Wake up but snooze until 8am. Watch some TV in bed. Head feels sensitive like it usually does in the morning, getting used to it. 9am: Boyfriend wants to get out to clear his head but I just want to stay in bed and watch tv. Usually it's the other way round. 11am: We head out to the shopping centre to grab some sunglasses and juice, it's nice to be out in the sun and I start to feel happy and find myself smiling alot. We're making jokes and having a nice relaxed time. 2pm: Went to t...

22 March 2014, 04:34 PM
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Day 4

7am: wake up to the alarm fine. Feels like I had a good night sleep with a really vivid dream. Head feels large as usual but I'm too tired to have a shower, so I just put clothes on and head to work. 9.30am: Get in and have cereal and a mint tea. Feel more tired than the last few days and feel myself spacing out every now and then. 1pm: The whole team at work go for lunch, I agree to go but can't even eat half of it and make the excuse I've been snacking too much. 2pm: The boyfriend I...

22 March 2014, 04:23 PM
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Day 4:

2am: Woke with a panic attack sensation in my body. Heart beat is strong and feeling really warm. Head feels sensitive and as though it's firing synapses at full capacity. I had a twitch where it felt like something shot through my brain and made my head jolt. If this happens again I'll call the doctors. 6am: Woke up an hour before the alarm again. Feeling like I have a swollen glands and body feels tense. Finding myself gapping at the screen as I write this. Typing is still working on to...

21 March 2014, 07:25 AM
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Day 3

6am: Woke up an hour before the alarm so I just snooze. Feel like I have that mild hangover headache again. 7am: Feeling slightly nauseous, have a mild case of diarrhoea. Feeling anxious in my body but my head is spaced out but clear. The only thoughts are the conversation with my mum last night but I don't feel overcome with emotion like I had each morning last week. Heartbeat is strong and feels like 90bmp. Have some camomile tea to calm the nerves. 8.30am: Make way into work. People are...

20 March 2014, 07:06 AM
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Why am I on citalopram?

For the last 6 months I felt I had been spiralling into depression. I'm usually able to get myself out of it with meditation and exercise. However, with a combination of relationship trust issues, financial stress and going freelance for the first time on top of the usually history in my life that normally bring me down - I couldn't help but cry and in public and was afraid of loosing my dream contract job. That's why I'm looking at other options now all others haven't worked. I have also be...

19 March 2014, 08:54 PM
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Day 2

7am: Got up and felt spaced out, more then usual in the mornings. Stopped in my tracks to daydream, only to realise I've stopped walking and I'm not even thinking of anything in particular. 8am: Still feel like my brain is buzzing and feeling spacious, especially in the frontal lobe. Have a slight headache that you get with a hangover. Looking in the mirror, my pupils seemed enlarged and only get slightly smaller when looking into the daylight. Hoping it would wear off by the time I get to...

19 March 2014, 08:45 PM
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Day 1

Had been prescribed Citalopram 20 mg tablets. Was advised the symptoms could get worse before they get better and that I could be spaced out during the day and have difficulty sleeping. 8pm: Had a salad for dinner. 9pm: Took to first tablet. 10pm: Try to get to sleep but find it difficult (have had trouble sleeping in general for the last month). Finally feel asleep at midnight. 3am: Woke up and my brain was buzzing yet there were no through rushing through. It seemed peaceful but my ...

19 March 2014, 08:19 PM
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