Journal_pane_9910711477405791

To live/die would be an awfully big adventure-Peter Pan❤️

Life is like a beautiful mistake.It's a total mess and it's up to us how to enjoy the game(life).However we don't know what other feels about you.This strange feelings that the other person standing front of you have their eyes that are looking at you as a different person as you think they are.Different life feelings personality etc.Maybe we envy them a lot because they seem happy or maybe they are envy of us like we do.I hide feelings emotions a lot and act like nothing happened and it wor...

25 October 2016, 03:29 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9910711470286706

Justice

Like any other things, justice is not as perfect as it seems,and I think it was made for everyone to be fair. But the one who has power will just win. Is it because the one didn't fight for it afterall, or just gave it up because they thought it's useless. Sometimes we're just fighting alone against everyone that surrounds us, and it is just hopeless because they tried so hard but nothing did happened.Even it is not too late.It is just happens.I will start to end everything( Inuyama Teiji:the...

04 August 2016, 05:58 AM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9910711469547252

Direction

If there is something I lost in these past years that is direction.I will just go through the flow of my life.Because I think mom won't give me a break.I just can't really leave this house.I'm really suffocated and tired of this drama.I wish that I'm not that girl that imprisoned by parents.The girl that left the house to study in college and chose education instead of manipulation and being with my only ally(my lil sis).I was forced to marry. I was hopeless when I graduated,and my mom used t...

26 July 2016, 04:34 PM
l
love
comment

2016

I'm already working.My uniform is very nice. Blouse with a vest and of course skirt. It makes me feel like I'm a stewardess. Time past and I graduated that school. In my sister's story,teachers we're getting more and more awful. English teacher we're having tough time with cancer. I was surprised to hear that at first but that school is fishy. Last last summer I heard that teacher was having hard times with his depress. But the most unexpected thing was they change it to exactly short temper...

20 July 2016, 12:42 PM
l
love
comment

Dear Diary

I still remember it clearly.How last year of these days gone wrong.I feel it is happening again.If I will go back the same time.I must ruining anything and everything around me.It is more better than now.I'm stressing myself and not even trying to live.I know that sometimes I should give up things to don't have burden.But this is slightly different.I can't even smile.This is just a stress or a depress.I want to tell things,my side,my explanations. I can't even reach myself out of this feeling...

13 July 2015, 03:45 PM
l
1 love: Mariam_1997
2 comments: Mariam_1997,fixyry

Dear Diary

I am worried to what will happen next.I know I can't predict things.My life is an example of un-ending trials.Life is used to be like that.In my case I don't think that I can go to my goal.I don't even want to think about the next level.I don't even want to make my adviser suffer because of me.I know I'm a big TROUBLEMAKER.My problem will be everyone's problem.I don't even want to admit that.I am changing someone's life and they are moving because of me.I think I'm marked right now.I'm being...

08 July 2015, 02:48 PM
l
love
comment

Dear Diary

Maybe the worst feeling is I can't speak anything.If I tell something maybe something can change.But even it changes,it will just get worse and worse.I'm used to do it all by myself.I don't know how to have some help from others since then.Since I hated myself and felt empty.Every time I despaired and fight for my grandma and freedom.I was alone to stand and get away from darkness.But now it's impossible.My family has changed.It has peace and joy .right now.I don't need to be free from anyth...

06 July 2015, 03:22 PM
l
love
comment

Dear Diary

I believe that "True Love" means unconditional or an unreasonable love.I think we are living to live our lives happily.It seems difficult but maybe if we change our point of view,we can see things better and have lovelier life.When we see the beggar giving their foods.When we see someone sacrifices theirselves for someone.I think that would be the most beautiful thing ever.That was the thing I've been wondering for.And it is now happening.Finally it is!But in my mind it means nothing.The most...

05 July 2015, 05:56 PM
l
love
comment

Deat Diary

It is so odd that every time I lost my way.I think the police here were guiding me back.It is so frightening.My adviser told me that it is so scary to don't know something.But actually I am also.He always tells me my feelings.But at the same time I feel we never know what others feel.He always misunderstood me in funny normal way.But I don't have the normal feelings.Normal thoughts.I'd live my life without the reasons why it's getting worse,why they did that to me.I am used to asked my self t...

05 July 2015, 05:23 PM
l
love
comment

Dear Diary

I stopped to hope,to love,to smile,to dream,to type these words and sentences.All because I gave up.But my adviser don't.I walked away from school like always I do when it's time for food.I actually surprised when I heard a siren of a police car.I don't know the truth.If my adviser called that.He was asking a man on my way back to school.He noticed me and rushed to his car to go back school.I am a near sighted and I saw his getting stuffs in his car.On my way home I noticed men that are suspi...

05 July 2015, 05:07 PM
l
love
1 comment: thebloggess

Dear Diary

I am badly hurt!I never admit that love hurts!But I think it hurts me badly because it matters to me that much.At the same time it makes me think that I'm so hopeless.Hopeless because I'm so moved with every kindness and love.I'd never know that there is a pain called kindness.

05 July 2015, 04:54 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9910711434180254

Inspiration,Dreamer

I just want to be happy

13 June 2015, 08:24 AM
l
love
comment

Dear Diary

I can't take it anymore.I've had enough. Can I just give up everything?I want to rest.I don't want to live.Because I lose everything I want.Even my little hope.My only wish for all these years.My efforts,my works and my sacrifices.I promise to don't ever lose all these things at once.But I do.It really hurts because you want to give up,but your heart don't want to.

25 May 2015, 04:11 PM
l
love
comment

Dear Diary

I sorta have a feeling like this may or will happen.But I never really wanted to.I think I had done everything.But I never thought that I can't have any freedom.I despair again.I can't go to college.I don't know why I go this far with nothing.I don't know why I fight.I don't know why I tried so hard.All for nothing.I proved that I can do.I got the top and everything.

25 May 2015, 03:58 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9910711430578579

Dear Diary

No matter how it hurts.... I can accept it.Because it just mean,I do really care,trust and love them.I need to stay away.I need to get over it now.Because I know they don't.

02 May 2015, 03:56 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9910711430578074

9910711430578074.jpeg

02 May 2015, 03:48 PM
l
1 love: rajul.rat
comment

Dear Diary

I want to forget about it right now because my priority is to pass my exam.It is actually so difficult.More than my problem. Because this is actually the most important time for me.I have to prioritize this than myself.Because this is about my future and I definitely regret about it.I will hate myself more if I don't step forward.

18 April 2015, 05:00 AM
l
love
comment

Dear Diary

My problem can be solved.Actually there is just one thing I can't do and that one thing is the way.Yeah, but....... that one thing is the key.To love myself.I actually can't accept anything that I achieved and done.Even someone told me that"Wow!You are awesome!".I should feel happy,smiling and telling them"Thank You!".Actually I don't react and walk away.I feel I got a big empty hole inside my heart every time then.

18 April 2015, 04:55 AM
l
love
comment

Dear Diary

Have to start studying.I feel I'm so full of emotions that I can't do anything.But I want go college.Hiding my feelings is not that hard.But not thinking about it is not.Maybe my brain is working always about it.And now it is actually working a whole day.I hope it is not working even when I'm sleeping.

18 April 2015, 04:46 AM
l
2 loves: Mariam_1997,Mariam_1997
comment

Dear Diary

I had my meeting with my adviser this Wednesday April 15 after my P.E. class.Yesterday, suddenly I got filled with fears.I thought it won't happen again.I noticed that sometimes I'm scared with boys.I don't get it too.We had happy conversation then.But why I'm filled with fears right now?I hate persons who loves me.Because I hate myself and I can't accept that they love or care about me.I deny it?I hate it?I can't accept it?Because I hate myself?I never thought that for the second time, it is...

18 April 2015, 04:40 AM
l
love
1 comment: aluuuu272