Day 12

I thought yesterday I made my biggest mistake but I think today I made a even BIGGER MISTAKE! I almost slept with my ex-boyfriend - but there is ONE GOOD THING, now I know that it is pointless to have anymore hopes I will never be back together, now he just uses me to get sex and this stuff... How could I've been so stupid and not see that ? How could I even think he likes me ? Feeling so stupid..

30 July 2014, 11:17 PM
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Day 11

Well guess I just broke up with my boyfriend. After we broke up we met to talk and man I really screwed things up. He asked me if I want a goodbye kiss and I said yes - BIGGEST MISTAKE! I didn't want to loose that so we went on talking and now we're on a "friends with benefits" kinda thing. It's so aweful but I don't want to let him go, I just can't ... And for some reason I'm happier than before :$

29 July 2014, 08:53 PM
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1 love: eleana_papajacovou
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Day 10

WOW .. it's amazing how fast you can change your opinion about a person, it almost scares me. Within one hour you can see the same person completely different.

27 July 2014, 10:38 PM
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Fuck ...

It kills me inside, everything - it's killing me. And I can't even change it. 3 weeks of holidays are gone and haven't really done anything. It scares me. What's going to happen when I'm all back at school, I'm always gonna be on my own - nobody to talk to, nothing - just me, myself and I ...

26 July 2014, 04:40 PM
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Day 9

I texted my bf and said sry, it was strange I didn't really know why I texted him sry .. I was very emotional and I wanted to answer "I'm sry for being the shittiest and most boring gf in the world", but I didn't I just wrote "I don't know". So he called me, I didn't answer.Then he texted me we should meet, so I said okay, but a friend was with him and my brother was with me.It was really awkward for me, I didn't even really talk to him. Then they left - no message, nothing - now I want to te...

26 July 2014, 01:24 PM
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Journal_pane_10054501406229313

It's real !!!

I don't know why but I always have to remember that everything is real. And with everything is real, I mean everything. It's real that I don't really have friends, that the only person I can talk to is my mum, that I try to push everyone away from me, that I'm barely talking, that I'm scared to meet my boyfriend but at the same time I'm afraid of loosing him. All that stuff is real, every single thing of it. But I wish it was all one bad dream and that someday I would just wake up and everyt...

24 July 2014, 08:15 PM
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Day 8

Today I found out that my boyfriend wanted to pick me up yesterday evening but I wasn't at home. I was outside with a guy friend of me (well not really a friend - somebody I know), he doesn't know that I have a boyfriend. Now I feel guilty because my bf asked me with whom I'm outside and I didn't really tell him the truth because he doesn't want me to meet any guys alone ..Aaand because whenever this guy and me meet we make out (no worries not this time^^), I don't really know why I feel guil...

24 July 2014, 08:08 PM
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Day 7

Now I know that I won't tell him that I don't really have friends.. Because I told his "kinda" best friend that I don't have lots of friends and he made fun of me and stuff like that, it was very horrible. Today me and my boyfriend were texting and it took him about 2 hours each time before he texted back and now it takes him already 4 hours and he isn't texting back. Okay he wasn't online since then but he changed his pb on fb and stuff like that. It makes me feel so awful .. :/

23 July 2014, 05:10 PM
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Day 6 (1.1)

He also asked me who's my best friend, if I have any friends and that I should bring a friend when we meet with his friends .. But the problem is that I lost my friends and I don't really have any, I want to tell him but I'm scared what he thinks of me and that he might leave me. I don't know what I should do but also I hate lying to him. :$

22 July 2014, 12:58 PM
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Day 6 (1.0)

So yesterday evening we met again and at first it was all fine but I was in a bad mood so I didn't feel like talking so much and the weather was very demotivating/depressin. And it was like the night in the forest did never happen, he was abit of an asshole again. For example he told me that the whatsapp-group still exists and that it is much more fun because I'm not in there anymore. But he wasn't like that all the time he was nice and stuff too.

22 July 2014, 12:57 PM
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Day 5 (1.1)

It seemed like he really cares about me, he also asked me what's up with my whatsapp status because my status was something like "You wouldn't understand", "I can't change myself. Either you like me or not" and stuff like that. The only thing was I wasn't able to tell him the truth, to tell him it was because of him .. :$ But it's okay now.

21 July 2014, 10:37 AM
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Day 5 (1.0)

Yesterday I finally met with my boyfriend *~* He was so kind and nice and just awww, it's like I've met a different person. I was able to be completly myself and not someone he might like because he likes me how I am. It was night and we went to the dark forest near me - it was soo romantic. You can't even imagine how romantic it was. *~* So happy I met with him yesterday :D

21 July 2014, 10:27 AM
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OMG ..

I'm soo scared .. :$ Should I meet with him or not ? I mean I'm in a pretty good mood today but it's just so terrifying - what if it's completly embarassing ? But I also haven't seen him in 4 days or something and I want to see him .. soo complicated :/

20 July 2014, 06:00 PM
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1 love: foolmoon
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Day 4

I finally texted him, it was all very normal. I asked him about the whatsapp-group, he told me it was nothing and meaningless also that the group was stupid. We are meeting today, I'm abit nervous because I think it's going to be completly awkward. He comes to my house for the first time and we're going to be all alone all the time :$ sooo scared about that ..

20 July 2014, 01:11 PM
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Day 3

So today he couldn't even text me good morning or something.. omg ! I feel so stupid but on the other side I don't really care whether he texts me or not. Maybe I'm just not what he thought I would be, that's completly not my problem. If I'm boring for him that's his problem not mine, I'm fine with how I am. I'm just that quiet when I'm around him and his friends because I don't really like how they're acting and stuff - it's his/their own fault !!

19 July 2014, 02:41 PM
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Day 2

So I have a boyfriend now, he is the biggest asshole I've ever met. Since I'm dating him, I'm even more depressed then before .. :/ He treats me like shit and I'm very insecure right now. He made a Whatsapp-group and now he removed me from the group. I didn't write anything in there but it makes me sad and jealous at the same time. I'm not very outgoing, I'm very shy and quiet and he is the complete opposit of me. He always makes fun of me. I think he doesn't even like me .. We also barely ...

18 July 2014, 11:52 PM
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Journal_pane_10054501403888525

DAY 1

So this is my first day and I just wanted to introduce myself - I'm Dodo. :) At the moment my life really sucks and I think I'm getting into an eating dissorder (anoriexia) and maybe I'm a little depressed. So yeah that's my shitty life described in a few words..

27 June 2014, 06:02 PM
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