"WHEREVER, WHATEVER"

Wherever I choose to be, there is no one there but me. I just want to be free. I know it is difficult for some to see. Whatever I do; It may not always have something to do with you. Don’t feel so blue. This is nothing new. Wherever, whatever. I just want my chance to be happier. It is nothing personal. I’m just tired of living in denial... (Jakarta, March 14, 2013 – 11:45 pm)

29 March 2013, 04:54 PM
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"EASY-BREEZY"

You have spoken of an easy-breezy life somewhere in an earthly paradise. It feels like a distant land, although my feet once touched the sand. "Come," you have invited me. "I know you have longed for a room to breathe; a decent space for you to be your own version of beauty." The choice has always been mine. I refuse to believe that I have crossed anybody's line. This is my life, after all. My path should not be blocked by their makeshift walls. I am still longing for tha...

26 March 2013, 10:57 AM
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FROM THE AUDIENCE: ADAM LAMBERT'S "WE ARE THE GLAMILY TOUR" - MARCH 10, 2013 - SKEENO, GANDARIA CITY, SOUTH JAKARTA, INDONESIA

"ADAM LAMBERT'S 'WE ARE THE GLAMILY TOUR' - MARCH 10, 2013 - SKEENO, GANDARIA CITY, SOUTH JAKARTA, INDONESIA" First of all, I would like to thank Chic Magazine for having made me one of the winners who earned a free ticket to see Adam Lambert's "We Are Glamily Tour". At sometime after 8:30 pm, the show began. I was also very lucky to get to be on the front row - very close to the stage. I took pictures, although perhaps I am not much of a photographer. With his band (Lead Guitar: To...

12 March 2013, 09:32 AM
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AN ODD PAIR

I don't think I can ever look at my life the same way again. A lot of things have changed rapidly. I just hope that I can keep up with the pace. First of all, I met Bello last year - on my first trip to The Island of The Gods with my best friend T. The two had had a brief 'history'. Back then, they both were still friends. Well, sort of. Then, there was the 'last kiss goodbye' which had mixed up the whole 'easy-breezy' friendship. T thought there was still a possibility for a real relations...

10 March 2013, 07:03 AM
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FROM THE ESCAPADE...

I've gone from my parents' house to my uncle's in Warung Buncit and back lately. This week is the last. I don't know when I'll get the chance to do that again. Hopefully soon enough... Why? Well, for the last month, I've been assigned to teach this company class at 8:00 am in Kuningan - only a few blocks away from the building where I work in. (A fifteen-minute walk, to be exact.) Thursday was our very last meeting. I still don't know whether they'd like to extend the course or not. The...

08 March 2013, 10:40 AM
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THE BLACK SHEEP?

Sometimes I hate the term "there's a calm before a storm". Really, that doesn't sound comforting at all. It makes us feel paranoid. I don't get it. Just when I've begun to accept myself, enjoy my life,and be happy - something else always comes up. After quite a while, I thought that my own family had given up on pestering me with two things about me which they still consider as 'disgraceful' : 1.My heavy-weight. 2.My single status at the age of 31. I've reached the point where I've g...

05 March 2013, 03:38 PM
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DEAR 'BELLO'

Dear 'Bello', It has felt like ages already since I last saw you. I know I sound exaggerating. You are still on the island of the gods, while I am still stuck in Big Durian. Sorry I still cannot make it there soon yet. So many things here keep getting me in my way. I know it sounds lame, but it is true. I wish I could be there now too. How are you, dear? I hope life is treating you well there. The last time we really exchanged a small talk (like we mostly do, what with the distance and t...

01 March 2013, 07:39 AM
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"A (LIVING?) NIGHTMARE FOR A FREE-SPIRITED, CLAUSTROPHOBIC IDEALIST"

"A (LIVING?) NIGHTMARE FOR A FREE-SPIRITED, CLAUSTROPHOBIC IDEALIST" The thick, brick walls stand in a circle, closing in on me. They seem endlessly high, way up above. I'm hyperventilating, dying to break free. Will my tiny fists be enough? Over and over, against these walls, my pounding fists thunder. There are no windows and doors. Please, don't let me be trapped here forever! An evil laughter rings in my ear, as my knuckles start to bleed. It snickers:"You can't break ...

26 February 2013, 06:07 PM
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"BAD NEWS"

I don't know how to tell you; for too long I've been dying to say. The last time I spoke the truth, you breathed fire and pushed me away. Tell me, how long must we live like this? Perhaps it's just different things we see. There's too much that we've missed. I know what I need to say, as much as I'm aware of the consequences. Sadly, there's always a bitter price to pay, even when one has used their common sense. I guess I have to do what I have to do. That's why I've got b...

26 February 2013, 05:29 PM
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"THE SILENT TREATMENT"

We don't talk about feelings anymore. We just go about our days, pretending everything's okay. You once said this was the only way. We don't talk about what really matters. You believe it's for the better. I'm tired of hiding behind these masks. What makes you think our little charade will last? We don't talk a lot. No, not that much. Even if we do, I'm not sure all we say is true. We don't talk. It's all snippets of daily mundanes. We're too afraid of dealing with the pai...

21 February 2013, 07:26 AM
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"SO LONG, 'SANCTUARY' "

I have never been (treated) a princess all my life. I don't think I'll ever fit the role. However, I'm also unsure about calling myself a warrior, although you've always believed that I am Ms.Independent - ever since we met. I know it's kind of annoying that I need to be reminded that I DO have the power to carry on. You know how the world is with me here. You have seen how I was and helped me to become how I am now. We both know there are still more miles to go and I am not about to give u...

20 February 2013, 11:10 AM
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"ONE CREEPY FLASHBACK"

How did you know that I loved you so? No, you didn't. I just hung out with you as often as I could. Not much I could do. How would you know, when this has only been as far as I could go? They said I should've done more than just one show. Telling you the truth might have given you more clues. How do you know that I still love you so? No, you don't. Even if you do, it won't do us any good. I hope you never will, so I can have this killed. Don't worry, I'm not standing stil...

12 February 2013, 08:32 AM
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"SEARCHING FOR YOUR SMILE"

I've been searching for your smile; I think I've seen in for a while. Where did it go? Why don't you let it show? I know I've taken your smile for granted. For years, it has gone under-appreciated. I guess I am also one of your ungrateful brats, having failed to see you as my greatest gift from God. Tell me now: Have we forever lost it somehow? You still go about your days, pretending everything is still okay. I understand that we have to keep moving. The clock is ticking. ...

10 February 2013, 08:47 AM
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"FROM ONE VINDICTIVE UNDERDOG"

Let me enjoy you squirm, as reality starts stripping you off of your arrogance. I am openly content with these moments, shaking the higher ground where you stand. You still look down on me, the way you keep on treating everybody. You think I can never fight you back. Soon I'll be able to throw you off the track! Now I am growing stronger. They are starting to know me better. I am having all the fun in the world, while you're still busy trying to get people hurt. Is that the only way to ma...

10 February 2013, 07:28 AM
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"I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE: REALLY?"

"When I see your face There's not a thing that I would change 'Cause you're amazing Just the way you are And when you smile The whole world stops and stares for awhile 'Cause girl, you're amazing Just the way you are..." ("Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars) I can't wait for that new TV series "Beauty and The Beast" to air here in my country. The first season may have already aired in other countries, so I'll probably just sit tight and wait, rely on YouTube, or...simply downl...

08 February 2013, 10:32 AM
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"THE UNPRISSY DAME"

I don't want to be your average kind, although I barely stand out like any ordinary girl. I'm just fine, even when I disappear in the crowd; just another stranger. I don't need to be a diva, who can't live without getting everyone's attention. I can be just one of the audience. I'm no Cinderella, and I'll never forget to keep my pairs of shoes. I believe I also have the right to choose. I don't want to always stay home; all safe and sound. I can also roam around the town, even on my own. ...

30 January 2013, 11:47 AM
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FLOODED...

Not much I did for the rest of last week. I only had one class on Monday, then I helped Ma and my brother with the catering business from Tuesday to Wednesday. After that, we picked my sister up from work and then took her to her OB-GYN. On Thursday, the biggest flood of the year struck Jakarta. Although my house was safe, thankfully, Pesanggrahan River had overflowed that both access routes to the central city where I work were clogged by heavy traffic and...of course, flood. I coul...

23 January 2013, 07:32 PM
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"AS I WANDER THE STREETS AT NIGHT..."

I often see you there as I wander the streets at night. They usually pass you by without a care. Somehow, I don't feel it's right. I know what you're doing; no questions asked. You've got no time and space to care about what they think. You only know you're doing your best. It's always just you and the baby on your lap; a poor little boy with a giant head. You smile at me every time I stop by, even with only coins, a bottle of water, and a silent wonder why. I still see you...

23 January 2013, 05:30 PM
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AFTER THE RAIN...

Some people say there is always a rainbow after the rain. We can just look up and spot it in the sky, especially if there is enough light from the sun or if it is not too polluted. What if the clouds are still much too dark, too thick? What if the rain has not really stopped yet? What if it keeps coming back because it is just the weather we have to deal with now? People deal with things in life differently. For those who call it 'a bad luck', they believe that their fate has been seale...

20 January 2013, 09:33 AM
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"THE DEMONS IN THE GOVERNMENT"

The demons in the government; wanting to recruit one of their own. Some 'fit-and-proper' tests required, to see if he were perfect for hire. They were laughing out loud, belittling death sentence for the rapists in this country, questioning: "Should we?" The demons in the government; they believe the victims deserve the rape. What's wrong with them? Have they all turned into senseless apes? Their laughter still rings in my ears; a sign of dead empathy. They've simply promote...

19 January 2013, 03:38 AM
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