“LIVING SINGLE: BETWEEN WORK, SOCIAL LIFE, (VISITING) FAMILY, AND SOLITUDE”

It’s been a while, as usual. I’ve been busy, poorly juggling portions of my life and trying to work on a proper balance. A lot has been going on lately. Hazel Eyes and L have officially moved to the same old apartment he’d been in years ago. What about me? I’m still the same, probably working even harder and becoming busier than before. Work, work, work – that’s all I do. A writer, a teacher, a translator – all in one go. The only social life I have is t...

06 September 2015, 08:42 AM
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#RIP AYLAN KURDI

This world has gone too cruel So many have played the fools by avoiding bad news like a plague There's too much that no one can take Yes, this world is much too cruel especially for pure, innocent souls like yours What if humanity has been cursed? No one else had wanted to put you first You looked like you were asleep as you were cast away from the ocean's deep You were more than just a tiny blob of red and blue If only we'd known better and more what to do Will there be more like you? I k...

06 September 2015, 06:24 AM
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"THE LAST SUNRISE WITH YOU"

"I'm bored," you complained that night. It wasn't the very first time you'd said that. "I wanna do something outside. I've been in this room for too damn long!" I sighed. I'd just returned from a long, hard day at work. I was really exhausted. I didn't feel like having any argument that night. "Alright," I finally gave in. I sat on your bedside and stared at your pale, haggard face. "What do you wanna do tomorrow?" "Just go outside," you said and shrugged. Your deep eyes seemed hollower by...

06 September 2015, 06:08 AM
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"A BROKEN PHONE"

A broken phone is ONLY acceptable when: 1. You have another phone...with another number. 2. You have a spare phone. 3. You have a budget ready to buy another phone...right away. 4. You have a friend or more, willing to lend you one of their phones...until you get a new one for yourself. 5. You have a family member or more, willing to do the same as stated in no.4. 6. You win a new phone through a quiz. 7. You still have people you need (and want) to stay in touch with. 8. There are peo...

03 September 2015, 07:09 AM
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"A QUESTION OF HONESTY AND COURTESY"

They say honesty is the best policy True, even when some associate that with cruelty Sometimes one has to be cruel to be kind, but when can one tell that they've crossed the line? Some also question,is courtesy always related to hypocrisy? Hey, what's wrong with kindness and sincerity? Sometimes it's not about being right, if one's vile tongue tends to cause an unnecessary fight Watch your mouth They might see through you and what you're all about Don't keep trying to fix others, just becau...

03 September 2015, 03:14 AM
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"A CONTINUOUS STROLL TO ALL MY FAVOURITE PLACES"

“Where’s your most favourite place in the world?” That’s one tough question if you ask me. The answers may vary, depending on how I feel. The situations may change. My room is where I want to be when I’m most vulnerable. (I guess that’s just how most people are like.) No one needs to ask me why. You can only be your 100% self when you’re all alone. Let only God know. Spare others your most vicious demons within. Not everything needs to be shown. They say home is where the heart is. But wha...

30 August 2015, 10:14 AM
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"AS YOU SLOWLY DRIFT OFF TO SLEEP..."

Sleep tonight, my love, my light My grief deepens that you’re not alright If only I could chase your pain away with all my might Sweet dreams, ‘though they don’t easily come, it seems Will you remember any when you wake up? I know these days seem to drag you down a lot Fear no more, for I am here like I’ve never been before... R. (Jakarta, 29/8/2015 – 10:00 pm)

29 August 2015, 05:20 PM
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"CHAOS!"

I’ve been unwell lately. Then again, I’m not the only one. Poor Hazel Eyes has been sick too. In fact, he got sick first. Here’s what happened last week: Tuesday: Hazel Eyes got sick first. I took him to the clinic. The poor guy was feverish. Thursday: During the writers’ club gathering that night, I started coming down with it. Damietta and Nuri told me to go home. We had to cut the gathering short. Then my phone broke. L has kindly lent me his for a while, only so that I’d be contacta...

29 August 2015, 04:11 PM
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"THE RANDOM SURVEY QUESTIONS (THE ANSWERS)"

So, what are my real answers to all the previous eight (8) questions: 1. What makes you happy? GETTING PAID Who’s not happy with this? Especially if you get paid from doing what you really love. 2. What depresses you? DEATH OF LOVED ONES This is not about the inability of letting go and moving on. It’s also not about being unable to see them again while you’re still here on earth. It’s the thought of whether you’d treated them right...and whether they’d already forgiven you for all the ...

27 August 2015, 03:46 AM
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"THE RANDOM SURVEY QUESTIONS"

I sometimes get writing ideas in class. Once we were discussing and reviewing gerunds and nouns, where we used these eight (8) feeling-related questions out of the book we used that day: 1. What makes you happy?2. What depresses you?3. What creeps you out?4. What annoys / angers you?5. What stresses you out?6. What helps you to relax?7. What scares you?8. What makes you giggle? We ended up playing the guessing game, where each of us would have to write a list of our own answers based on tho...

19 August 2015, 08:14 AM
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"MY INDEPENDENCE"

I suppose I've gained my independence, having my personal stance in life as it is although not always full of bliss. It's the choices I make responsibilities I take in hopes that there's no heart to break. It's all for my own sake. "I believe that you can live your own life," she once said to me. "You're the kind to always riseto challenges and responsibilities." I'm glad she has got faith in me. That's all I need to hold on to, you see? I can be whom I want to be. I answer to nobody. "Mis...

18 August 2015, 10:25 PM
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"LOOKING FOR YOU IN THE CROWD"

I still have that habit of looking for you in the crowd. They all say that I've got to move on. It's true, but what can I do? Sometimes I can't really help myself. I miss you. I'm surrounded by these familiar places and scenes. Restaurants where we'd gone to eat. Coffee-shops where we'd hung out. (Seriously, I still frequent those places sometimes, ordering that strong, black coffee that you fancy.) The crowd we know. The people who miss you too. They don't know how I really feel about you,...

17 August 2015, 02:34 PM
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"TRUE (STILL MISSING YOU)"

Speak to me with words of kindness Comfort me with sweet messages It seems that I haven't heard your voice in ages This city has chased away your gentleness When will I see you again? If only you knew that missing you has been a pain Thank God I'm strong enough to play-a-pretend I don't care if we'd only hang out as old friends Hopefully soon, even if it's only once in a blue moon. For you, there's always one room where your existence won't cause me gloom. I'm longing to see you and hear y...

15 August 2015, 09:27 PM
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"OUT OF THE BLUE (FROM YOU)"

Me: "Saw your picture with Vincent and Vinny. So they're visiting you. How are you?" Him:"I'm fine, thanks. How are you? Are you going to Duma's wedding?" (Duma's our friend and former co-worker. She's getting married to her boyfriend David and their wedding will take place on September 13.) Me:"I'm all good, thanks. Yeah, I'm going to Duma's wedding. Are you?" Him:"Yeah. We can go together.:)" Me:"I'd love to.:D" (My heart races.) Him:"Great.:)" I'm not dreaming, am I? Did he just ask me...

15 August 2015, 08:46 PM
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"TO THE 'KNOW-IT-ALLS' "

I may have already written something like this before, some time ago. I may not and I could have forgotten. I remember reading a short travel article (perhaps based on a real experience) about an American family on a safari in an African country. (Sorry I forgot which one exactly.) One night while they were sitting around a bonfire, one of the kids saw a pair of shining eyes looking at them in the dark before they vanished. When they told their parents, their tour guide said something so chi...

14 August 2015, 04:07 AM
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"ONLINE BULLIES, INTERNET TROLLS"

Don't. Let them write/type/post/say whatever they want. Choose what you (want to) view online. After that, find your own way to move on. Don't. You don't have to take them seriously. They just want your attention, you see? Leave no room for their negativity and insecurities. You deserve to be happy. You can't please everybody. It's time to set your mind free. Their unhappiness with their own personal lives is none of your responsibility. Are they still talking about you? Do you think so to...

12 August 2015, 07:04 AM
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“THE BALLAD OF THE PHILOPHOBIC LOGOPHILE "

Okay, so I don’t really know why I started calling myself that. The Philophobic Logophile. I suppose you can say that I love letters and words. I always read and write. My three jobs (writing, translating, and teaching) require a lot of reading and writing. I guess I’m still quite a cynic / skeptic when it comes to...love / romance. (Which one is which? See, I’m confusing myself again.) The weird thing is, I can’t even define how I feel about this. Am I sad? Am I happy? Do I feel so content...

10 August 2015, 02:12 PM
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"I'LL TAKE THE PAIN"

I’ll take the pain, all trials for all my errors Let these spiritual wounds be washed away by Your Healing Rain I didn’t understand what it was for, for I’ve been such a mighty, hideous fool before. Now I know. It’s not that You Don’t Love Me So. Sometimes You just want me to take a break, and other times You Know how my heart silently aches So yes, I’ll take the pain in hopes that You’ll Erase all my sins away Aameen ya rabbal ‘aalameen... R. (Jakarta, 9/8/2015 – 9:05 pm)

10 August 2015, 08:45 AM
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"UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?"

“UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?” (Portraits of Reality) I love you. You love me. We love each other. Just like everyone who’s in love. They love one another. So what’s the big deal? We often think it’s just about us. They don’t (really) matter. In a way, it’s true. However, it’s not always so. I’m sure you and I know. I love you. You love me. It’s supposed to be that easy. But who are we kidding? We’re still two different people. We want different things. We don’t always see eye-to-eye, although w...

08 August 2015, 01:18 PM
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"THE PHILOPHOBIC LOGOPHILE"

What if I told you that I loved you like how grateful I am that the sun still shines every day? It’s so corny, they’d say. Everything’s already been re-written for too many times nowadays. What if I told you that I loved you like the moon overcomes the darkness above? Would that be enough? It may be just the same old stuff. What if I told you that I loved you like the most beautiful lyrics to a famous love song? Would it be wrong? What if I can’t keep this too long? What if I can’t find an...

07 August 2015, 09:11 PM
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