"WHEN FRIENDSHIP ISN'T ABOUT NUMBERS..."

Some people love being surrounded by other people, even as many as possible. Perhaps they can’t stand being alone, especially too long. Perhaps they truly believe in the idea of “strength in numbers”, which is sometimes true. Some people love being by themselves. They’re often labelled (or perhaps ‘misunderstood’ or judged) as selfish, uncompromising, reclusive, weird, or...autistic. (Sadly, this insulting term often comes from stupid, thoughtless, and ignorant Indonesians who are even alrea...

07 August 2015, 05:44 PM
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"WELCOMING AUGUST"

Time flies. All of a sudden, it’s already August again. So, what’s in August? I celebrated Hazel Eyes’ 38th birthday – with L, of course. The three of us gathered in the living room outside Hazel Eyes’ room on the third floor, cutting and eating the avocado-and-chocolate flavoured cake from our boss Matt and his wife Ati. That was really nice. (But then again, I’m quite a foodie.) Then the three of us went to the karaoke place. It was fun. There’s more to come, I’m sure. I feel like I’m ge...

06 August 2015, 04:33 AM
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"I'M AFRAID TO FALL IN LOVE"

I'm afraid to fall in love This may be nothing new I've always mentioned this in my prayers to You no matter what I do I'm afraid to fall in love Isn't this obvious enough? Love has been such a foreign, distant world leaving me an outcast, an estranged and indifferent girl I'm afraid to fall in love although they keep saying I shouldn't be After all, You've given all of us that for free but why does it keep hurting me? I've been too afraid to fall in love so please, do me a favour: Don't e...

05 August 2015, 05:22 AM
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"A CHANGE OF HEART"

As skeptical as this may sound to you, I always find the promise of 'forever' impossible, almost rather absurd. Why? This life has never been a fairy tale. I suppose that's why some people who are aware of this often use "(hopefully) for the rest of my/our life/lives" or "I'll do my best" instead of "forever" or "for eternity". After all, we're merely mortals. We also (tend to) have a change of heart. Don't believe it? Go back to your past, like childhood and teenage years. I bet you'd reca...

01 August 2015, 07:50 AM
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"THE (BROKEN?) PERSONAL MIRROR

Sometimes we're too busy trying to fix everything around us while forgetting to see what's more important to make a fuss about What lies in front of us are more visible open to constant scrutiny and criticisms that might lead to a form of judgment and more unnecessary trouble Don't get too caught up forcing others to stop by a giant mirror while yours is cracked or broken so badly, that you think you needn't look closer... R.

30 July 2015, 07:27 AM
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"LAST WEEK..."

I'd stayed home until Monday. I left to return to my old rented room after that. I caught up with Mark and Tiara (and their first son Baby Timmy and Tiara's older sister Fika) for lunch on Tuesday afternoon at Kuningan City. We had lunch at Imperial Kitchen, where I ordered Shanghai fried chicken and hot tea. I also got to carry Baby Timmy in my arms before he started crying for mommy. He's so tiny. Hehe, okay. After that, we split for a while. The sisters went for shopping for baby clothe...

28 July 2015, 08:44 AM
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"THE BLACK(ENED) HEART"

I spotted you...oh, lonely heart standing out from the rest, growing apart What's with the distance? Don't let this be your one and only, final stance Reality has badly tainted you Now you're all black and blue What to do? Can you go back to what was once so true? Oh, lonely and black(ened) heart How did you get to turn so dark? You're such a frightening sight I wonder if you still have that chance to be alright I hope you're not mine, because I just want to be fine R. (Jakarta, 27/7/201...

28 July 2015, 07:26 AM
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"CHILDREN OF TODAY"

What are the children of today mostly like? Surely, everyone has something to say. Of course opinions may vary. Do you find most kids nowadays are such whiny, ungrateful brats? Well, before you start pointing fingers as always, why don't you take a look in the mirror first? Who? Not just parents, but all of you (who claim to be) adults in the environment where children live. First of all, are all adults really mature / real grown-ups? I know that's such a stupid question, but let's make tha...

24 July 2015, 08:21 AM
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"YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING"

You don't need to know how I wake up in the morning and where I might go Let me do my things You don't need to wonder what he's doing today You should know better when he just doesn't want to say You don't have to be all curious about what she might be thinking Anyway, honesty always makes you feel furious even when you're not really considerate of other people's feelings Let's just make this clear This is not always about you here It's not you that we fear It's just things that are no lon...

24 July 2015, 06:07 AM
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"IN TRANSITION..."

I vaguely recall being in transition before. This isn't my first time, I know, but it's never felt this intense...so intense that I have a really difficult time fighting back my own tears. Right. You have no idea what I'm talking about. I also have trouble putting this into words. I'll still give this a try, though. So, Hazel Eyes and L are finally - and "officially" as he put it - together. The three of us had gone to Jakarta Fair 2015 on June 30 together. It was quite...awkward. Don't get...

22 July 2015, 05:53 AM
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"THE TRANSITION"

I know what I am; I know what you are For long we've been friends, honest from heart to heart I know what scares you I've been afraid too We're in transition which will lead us to a new direction You might see these tears in my eyes, threatening to fall at every sharp, drawn breath I can't lie You're right; the world out there is full of nasty threats Worry not about me, just like I've always let you be We may not always see eye-to-eye, but please, don't ever let this friendship die What ...

22 July 2015, 04:00 AM
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"WHISPER"

Is this just a dream? You came to me out of the blue It's been a while since I last saw you Is this real? I've got a feeling My mind's still reeling I love hearing your voice especially when you finally made that choice I want to see your face Will I get to be in your warm embrace? Those were the words I'd long to hear as you gently whisper in my ear Suddenly it became crystal-clear I'm meant to be here You are the reason for this smile Stay, not just for a while I'd like to hear you say ...

16 July 2015, 09:29 AM
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"AND THE RELIGIOUS AND SPIRITUAL JOURNEY GOES ON..."

Who says that after Ramadan, everything stops? We still need to pray. We still need to work things out much harder than before. Make more effort to become better. Improve our lives. Create progress. The journey doesn't stop here. It never does, for as long as one lives. It all depends on one's strong will. An old friend once said: "We often forget that This Holy Month of Ramadan is actually a religious and spiritual boot-camp. The big question is what we'll be doing for the other eleven mon...

16 July 2015, 07:34 AM
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"TO THE OWNER OF RAMADAN (2)"

I've been away too long I've done too many things wrong Where do I begin? How will my story end? How did it all come to this? I've been blinded by the worldly bliss I've been led astray I hope I'm not worsening by the day Do I still deserve another chance, or will this become my final stance? I am slowly being consumed by creeping fear, 'though I rarely show my tears? This is supposed to be my time for repentance, yet I keep letting myself be occupied by distractions God, will you ever forg...

13 July 2015, 05:07 AM
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"COMING HOME FOR EID..."

I'm going to be off the grid for a while. I'm coming home for Eid-ul-Fitr celebration. We're having people over, families and friends, just like every year. As usual, I'll be helping Ma with the house chores at home. I'll be playing with the kids too (my nephews and niece), which is nice. I'm still writing, but the postings will probably have to wait. Still got lots to do and stories to write. So, when's the Eid? July 17 - 18. R.

12 July 2015, 11:38 AM
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"ABOUT BEING VENGEFUL" (The Poetry)

What do you want? There's no rewind That button doesn't exist in this life No repeat for what's already been done Time to move on No point in dwelling on what's long gone Some can still be rebuilt but how willing are you to keep working on it? You're more than welcome to keep coming back walking down that memory lane, staying on that track But life never waits on you There are more to do Why the sad face? Why keep putting them in such disgrace? No mortals are that patient; they too grow co...

10 July 2015, 11:51 AM
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"ABOUT BEING VENGEFUL"

Some say this is many Scorpios' unfortunate trait. With their temperamental moody side, this is expected. Despite their loyalty to the people they love - like a wolf to their pack - they tend to be very vengeful once they get hurt (especially really badly.) It doesn't mean that they're completely unforgiving, though. They usually can still and will forgive you, but that happens after you have suffered a great deal first. It's all about getting even. Sounds scary, huh? I know it's not a good ...

10 July 2015, 07:34 AM
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"THE CITY OF SMALL WORLDS"

I live in a city of small worlds, each with its own wonders Some feel worse, some may feel better I've lived in this city of small worlds ever since I was born aware of its ever-changing description even since I was a little girl This city of small worlds, I can see its growing partitions invisible, yet segregation slowly occurs leaving each world blinded towards one another by such self-exclusions I am caught in the middle in this city of small worlds My self-confidence and assurance are ...

08 July 2015, 08:19 AM
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"FOREVER CONFLICTED (SO HELP ME, GOD!)"

What have I been doing lately? This is still Ramadan, thankfully. However, time flies. Soon Ramadan is leaving again. I don't know if I'll ever get that same luck again catching up with Ramadan...at least one more time... And I haven't done (good) enough with my prayers. I guess I never will, no matter how hard I try. It's not that I don't want to; it's more of the uncertainty. It's not the confidence issue. We can never be too sure. In fact, feeling overly confident about this may get us i...

08 July 2015, 05:14 AM
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"THE GHOST OF HIM"

I felt the ghost of him this morning, as I responded angrily to some nasty comments Bullies are everywhere They’re always there I’m sure you’ve sensed the ghost of him too all from the words I used I am your most distinctive reminder of someone you’ll miss forever “Why did you have to be so angry?” I’m sure that’s what she’d wanted to say “You sound so much like him, always have to have the last words with everybody.” “But Mummy, I’m not afraid,” I calmly said. “Because I know damn well th...

06 July 2015, 05:33 AM
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