Stripping back...

It is really hard to rearrange your already planned out future. When you rely not only on yourself but the second half for the future to come true and something crashes down, and suddenly you feel like you have to start to plan from the very start again. It is so overwhelming, and scary, and at the moment I don't even feel like I have any energy in me to do it. Feels like I don't even want to do it anymore. I don't want the future? I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it'...

01 February 2015, 11:00 PM
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Smoking kills.. doesn't love ?

I mean the amount of days you don't even want to be in love, the stress it gives you, all heart breaks, tears, pain, this can not be healthy for us. Yet again we go for it. And they say, the worse it is for you, the better it tastes. Everyone talks about, sings about, writes about, lives about ..love, it's probably number one desired of all things in the world.. what does that mean? It is the most damaging? unhealthy? While I think about it I will go for a cigarette and continue living ...

28 January 2015, 11:02 PM
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a what?

a fucking what? Sorry? now? I don't know .. Enjoy your afternoon. Ta ta.

19 January 2015, 03:00 PM
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50/50 ?

What if you're stuck right in the middle and don't know which way to go? I am hurt, and scared, but I love him. It is only on of a thousand situations similar to it. And I am right in the middle of it. In the earlier post I wrote about the most important and valuable thing I have learned in 2014.. the 'gut feeling' But my gut is even confused. It just seems like there is no answer right out there, and I just need to make a bluff. But it is my life and my future on the line, so how can I...

18 January 2015, 08:55 AM
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Simple is fabulous.

Why make is so complicated? Is it excitement that we are looking for? With excitement there comes stress, fear, pain, heartbreak. Is it really worth it? Are these single moments of excitement, happiness, rush, love worth of trading for? I would love to say no, but yes. They are.. And the fact that they have to balance each other out is the bitch. One day I was happy. I am paying for it Today. I don't know which day it was, but I hope it was worth it. Will my dreams come true? What ar...

17 January 2015, 06:49 AM
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Blank day.

I feel like Today is going to be one of them days when everything just falls into a place and it's a smooth sailing from the minute you wake up until the very last moment until you're back in bed. I feel like nothing significant is going to happen Today, just work, work out, and evening with the family. Do we have to try to make every day memorable? Would it not be exhausting to do that? Sometimes I like to just exist, like a tree, or a flower in the middle of a thousand of other flowers...

09 January 2015, 06:57 AM
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It's Christmas time!

Really? There was no build up to it this year.. and everyone seems so busy, too busy or something. I wish we all got our time off for Christmas so everyone can enjoy it and relax together. I wish everyone 'mountain of happiness and laughter' I am so excited for New Year too. I mean I am the one who loves new beginings! Always yet another chance to promise yourself to start or do something and never follow up on it. But this year will be different. I know, I know.. I say it every year bu...

23 December 2014, 08:30 PM
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I can not believe this

We all know the right from wrong. And still.. why am I so stupid at times. I hope this post will always remind me of some of them stupid mistakes I have made in the past and prevent me from going there again! So not worth it. If I feel or know something feels/is bad, I will say stop/no, and I will move on from it.

25 November 2014, 01:16 AM
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Bed

There is no place more comfortable than a soft warm bed with many blankets and pillows and teddy bears around it. No wonder I can not leave it, it's raining and all I hear is the wind outside and it's so loud I can nearly feel it going down my back, even though I am well wrapped in my comfy bed. Who invented money? damn you! Now I gotta work.

01 November 2014, 12:01 PM
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Morning

When you wake up and the reality did not hit in yet, and you feel like a 7 year old, ready to explore the world again. I used to love waking up then, put on whatever and go out for the whole day, have no money and just plenty of fun. It was so easy back then to be entertained, involved, to be laughing until you have a cramp in your stomach, or cry it all out when you needed it. On a good note, the storm is over and the shirts are dry..

30 October 2014, 10:01 AM
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Ugh....

Relationships.. I could not imagine how hard it would be to be in one sometimes. It exposes you to all your flaws, and brings out all the bad habits we learn throughout the life in order to survive when we are single. Then you don't need these anymore when you're with someone but you keep doing what you're used to and this where it gets tricky. I had such a bad day.. hanging like a shirt on the line to dry out, this is what I feel like. Then to be picked up and used and washed again. At least...

29 October 2014, 07:07 PM
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Mum <3

I love her so much. She truly is the most important person in my life. The amount of love she has for me and my little sister, I can never truly understand it. She's always there, always. She's one person who makes this world truly a brighter place. Sometimes I do think what will it be, when she's gone, and I know I shouldn't even torture myself like this but I rather think it through because I know it will be the hardest moment of my life. I am truly blessed to have a woman like her in my li...

28 October 2014, 10:13 PM
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Unexpected I love

When people do prove you wrong and situations turn up completely opposite to what you thought it would turn up. I love to be surprised. Especially when it's a positive turn out. Even when it is a negative one, it sucks and it's a pain i the ass but you always learn something new from it. I had a lovely 'jazz' morning, gave me a bit of a headache but it was still nice, followed by not so lovely afternoon, followed by an amazing evening. This day was like an Irish weather, four seasons in one ...

25 October 2014, 12:23 AM
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It's Jaaaazz

Siting at work listening to great bands playing Jazz, it's the Jazz weekend in Ireland. I don't really like Jazz, reminds me of big from 'Sex in the City' sequel for some reason. I am having a great day in general, just one little thing, I am starving! bit of nice food and I would be complete today. Thanks to mum, for deciding to starve me today. Not really her fault that I went through all my wages already but she could be more understanding, just a little bit.

24 October 2014, 02:39 PM
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Hello diary

I always wanted to be the type who writes about the things and then remembers them. I could never motivate myself to write a diary in the long run, but I was always jealous of the people who did. There is many moments and memories from my past I can't remember and have a blurred vision of them and I would love to remember them clearly and be able to go back to these moments even if its just reading a post. So hopefully I will stay on this for long.

24 October 2014, 02:31 PM
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