Journal_pane_9538871381825875

Introvert Survival: Diaries

When we think of diaries the first image that comes to mind is the popular image. A slim volume with lots of pink hearts all over the cover. It might have a little toy lock on it so that its contents might be absolutely private. Most of us probably know the common irony of these teenage diaries as seen on movies and TV. Under lock and key, guarded like treasures are the most mundane and unremarkable of thoughts. The whole joke is that having ‘secret’ writings is just another ploy for att...

15 October 2013, 09:31 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381778438

I'M NOT ALONE!

I know this may sound ridiculous, but I've never actually thought about merely being an introvert before. Like I am a rather extreme introvert, my mother is an extreme extrovert. Therefore, because I dread social interaction so very much, she thought that there was something wrong with me. Everything she did she did out of love and I appreciate it all more than I can put into words. Unfortunately, therapy is not the solution to my supposed "problem." In my life I've been to, oh let's see, s...

14 October 2013, 08:20 PM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381778307

Hello there...

How are you? I get asked this all the time. I guess I just have an "approachable" look about me (though I honestly have no idea why). I'll just be standing there (or sitting), minding my own business and feeling quite content within my own thoughts when someone comes up and tries to strike up a conversation with the generic question of "how are you?" Well I'm doing good, how are you? They're doing good too. Then it dies a quick death and the long and awkward silence with which I am all to fam...

14 October 2013, 08:18 PM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381778102

May you have the happiest of new years :)

The weather recently has been typical of a coastal city in southern Virginia-very warm. Personally, I really like cold weather. Something about it is just so friendly and inviting. I just feel happy this time of year <3 My life has been changing a lot lately (for the better I hope) and I've been really busy and stressed out. Soon everything should level out though and things will slowly but surely fall into a pattern of normalcy. Looking back on my life in 2011, I'm completely amazed at ev...

14 October 2013, 08:15 PM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381746106

Ideal Moments

What are we doing wrong? What are we missing? Why is everyone else successful and we’re not? What are we afraid of anyway? These are all questions that came up in a conversation with my friend Barb. Barb and I are both entrepreneurial people. We’ve each run our own businesses, but struggled every step of the way to make them work. We hadn’t seen each other in a while and happened to bump into each other at a local business opening. As we were catching up we both sensed the other was ...

14 October 2013, 11:21 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381745931

Outsiders and Opportunities

I like to think I’m wise in the way I act toward outsiders and strangers. I’m naturally suspicious of other people. Whether that’s due to nature or life experience, I’m not sure. Probably some of both. I never take anything for granted with a stranger. I’m slow to trust and I question motives. This can be good in an earthly sense, because it offers a certain sense of security. Spiritually speaking, it’s a bunch of crap. My problem is with the second half of that sentence. How can I m...

14 October 2013, 11:19 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381745424

Stopping to Say Hello

I know I’ve mentioned before how much I dread small talk,and may tend to avoid talking to people. But the truth is, I surprise myself sometimes. Under certain circumstances, I can be downright chatty. Like most introverts, you just have to get me talking about something I’m passionate about. I’ll give you a hint. It’s my dogs. My husband and I walk our dogs every night, weather permitting. We have two routes we regularly walk. For the slower dogs, we take a one mile trip that winds th...

14 October 2013, 11:10 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381744302

The Coming Introvert Implosion

OK, so when did it become cool to be an introvert? I mean, WE always knew we were cool, in our own weird way. We just didn’t know how to convey that to other people. We tend to keep our cool to ourselves. But suddenly there is this plethora of articles and listicles (when did that become a word, by the way?) about how to know if you’re an introvert, and how to cope if you are one. The Huffington Post seems to be particularly interested in drawing attention to us with their many recent ar...

14 October 2013, 10:51 AM
l
1 love: introvert
1 comment: introvert
Journal_pane_9538871381654993

My Introversions

I started this Diary because I felt the need to express something, and to give explicit voice to my introverted self. So, for now: I love people, But they exhaust me sometimes; Stress brings out my introverted tendencies. At such times, I just want to be alone, to recharge; Some days, I try to go through the entire day without speaking to anyone; I’m an observer–I prefer to stand on the sidelines in a new situation, and suss out the context, the interactions, the situati...

13 October 2013, 10:03 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381654878

Encounter Avoidance

A few days ago, I had met a friend for dinner at a restaurant downtown. From the corner of my eye, I had the impression a classmate with whom I had a nodding, casual acquaintance, had sat down in the booth adjacent to ours. Rather than make small talk, I tried to avoid looking in that direction, in the hopes that she wouldn’t notice I was there. I slumped and slouched against my side of the booth, leaning on my arm as I conversed with my friend, basically going through all manner of contorti...

13 October 2013, 10:01 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381654725

with meditation…

one need not blank one’s mind completely. It can be more about simply disengaging, like one who sits by the side of a busy thoroughfare and watches the world go by without calling out to any of one of the people passing–or indeed singling any one of them out for individual attention. It can be about stepping back from the flow, and out of the current. That is all.

13 October 2013, 09:58 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381654636

Words, word, words…

Like Hamlet, I feel swamped by words today. How to escape? Perhaps, I will try to seek out the simplicity of image, instead. Or of sound without words. Sent from my mobile, so please pardon any typos!

13 October 2013, 09:57 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381654499

Sunset

I don’t see the sunset from our apartment–I just see it reflected in the windows of other buildings, distant and close. It’s still spectacular. (This notion of reflected glory could be a metaphor, but it isn’t.) Today was a luminous, windswept day. Playful clouds chasing each other across a stunningly blue sky. Magic hour saw the blossom-laden forsythia bushes become so gorgeously, vibrantly yellow that I couldn’t stop staring. The kind of day where it hurts to know that it’s so fleeting. I...

13 October 2013, 09:55 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381654352

Exhaustion. Also: Memories of Bullies Past

A long day of sitting in one position & studying yesterday. Another ahead of me today. My body is exhausted and surprisingly sore from the lack of exertion. Will try to do a little yoga at some point, by way of break. I just want to cocoon. To disappear into a quiet space and curl up into an even more profound quiescence. Yesterday, during a long drive, I was thinking of lessons learned as a result of various types of bullying and related “mean girl” experiences growing up. I was lucky tha...

13 October 2013, 09:52 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381654250

Six Lessons I Learned from Being Bullied

Yes. I was one of those kids. Nerdy. Bookish. Unathletic. An easy target for the types who sought to enhance their own standing through demonstrations of superior power and who had an unerring eye for singling out the weakest in the pack. I encountered several bullies in elementary school. The nastiest of them conducted an escalating campaign over the course of the school year, beginning by plaguing me after school, when it was just the two of us. First teasing and being unpleasant. Then phy...

13 October 2013, 09:50 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381654126

Lucky Day

A day marked by simple, often unexpected, joys. A helpful study session with some really bright, fun, and funny friends, discussing Trusts and commiserating over its complexities and obscurities. A walk through the park, moving through the balmy air of springtime. An afternoon after a morning of rain. The trees were bursting with blossoms, adorned with buds, decorated with pale, tender green leaves, all unfurling under the ministrations of the soft breezes. The air was fresh, with just a hi...

13 October 2013, 09:48 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381653988

No Promo

I debated promoting this blog. Maybe adding it to my twitter feed, or my FB updates. But I’m curious to know if it will, at some point, become discoverable on its own. Will search engines, and then people, start finding my posts? Or will it remain obscure? Part of me wants to communicate–to reach out and connect with others by posting this elsewhere, and thereby making it findable and subject to responses and comments. But I have another blog that gets promoted in those ways. The purist in...

13 October 2013, 09:46 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381653731

The Good Death

In late Victorian England, the “good death” was regarded as one in which a person had time to settle his or her affairs. The good death involved dying after saying one’s goodbyes. It involved dying in bed, surrounded by loved ones. Most of us don’t really get the luxury of choosing. But I suspect that I would choose the Victorian vision of a good death, over the sudden, painless, gone in an instant death. If I could choose, I would want to be able to say my goodbyes. Maybe have a party, or ...

13 October 2013, 09:42 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381653617

Discovering the Now

A few years back, I experienced a series of losses. I learned I was infertile. Then, after several IVFs, I got pregnant, only to miscarry. My father died, suddenly and with absolutely no prior warning, the day after I learned I was carrying a dead baby. And I tried to process it all. In those weeks of loss, I inhabited a strange limbo. An underworld of darkness, grief and loss. It was as if a hazy, dark scrim had been pulled between myself and the world around me. All the spaces were the sam...

13 October 2013, 09:40 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment
Journal_pane_9538871381653324

Greyday

It’s one of those dull, shadowless days outside. There’s a stoic coolness to the air. Rain fallen recently enough that everything is still wet–things dry slowly in these temperatures, particularly coupled with the lack of direct sunlight–and there’s every indication of more rain to come. I don’t mind. These were comforting days in the land where I grew up–west of here, near water and mountains. The northern rainforest climate often featured this very type of grey, damp, cool day and I loved ...

13 October 2013, 09:35 AM
l
1 love: introvert
comment