Breath deep… silent cries as tears roll down my cheeks. I've decided, decided to do better, decided I deserve better, decided that I needed to live again. I need, want, deserve to love and be loved.

27 March 2014, 06:08 AM
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1 love: krim2k
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Hardest Thing To Do

Today I've decided to let you go. Though my heart breaks with every thought of you, I know that its best to walk away. I've striped myself naked showing you my bare beating heart for you to tear my heart apart. you poured the gasoline, lit the match and watched me burn. There's nothing left of me. I'm broken and empty. I'm you.

27 March 2014, 05:57 AM
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It's not easy to let go of you. Time moves so slowly without you. It's so hard to breathe. Just for the moment can we find common ground. Just for a moment can we pretend that every thing's okay. Just for a moment will you lie to me, tell me you'll never leave me because I'm still in love with you.

19 March 2014, 01:05 AM
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Once again, yesterday I made myself believe we were fine. Today I feel empty. I wish I could go back to the day that I fell in love with you. Don't you understand that I love you til it hurts? I keep praying that we could revive what we had or was it all a facade? So wrong with you. I'm dying inside, but I'm willing to lose it all for you. Just to be with you.

19 March 2014, 12:45 AM
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Actions speaks louder than words.. I'm not okay.. :(

13 March 2014, 09:23 PM
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Today I wanted to just be numb... anything to not feel this pain of heartbreak. To just be numb. There are days where I feel like i'm "okay" that maybe, just maybe i'm over it. Then, there are days like today where I just want to hear his voice, his laugh, his anything.. realizing that I can't, I just want to be numb.

09 March 2014, 05:44 PM
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Holding Onto Nothing.

Sometimes we hold onto was was because it was something beautiful. We're so afraid to see them with someone else, can't bare the thought of them touching another person the way that they touch you, but when the tides are low and all the infidelity starts to show, it'll never be the same. Even in trying so hard to amend whats been done, things are too badly broken. You'll always slightly hate eachother for the wrong that's been done. We wish we could rewind time, make things great from the sta...

09 March 2014, 05:38 PM
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How It Was Suppose To Be.

It wasn't meant to be easy. It wasn't meant to be convenient. It was meant to teach and for us to learn from. I learned to make you my priority while you chose to make me an option. I blame myself to letting it get this far and for letting it continue. I can only show you something special, but I learned the hard way that I can't make you appreciate it. I didn't know then, but i know now. How could i have asked you to respect me if I didn't have enough respect for myself to tell you don't tre...

09 March 2014, 05:32 PM
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want to hate.

I want to say I hate you because you hurt me. You cut me so deep to my core. I could never imagine someone that I thought so highly of would become this evil being that I can't run from. I want to hate you because I begged of you to not come near me. I was finally content with being by myself. I pleaded with you to turn away to leave me be, but you insisted, you promised and sold me lies that you wouldn't be the one to hurt me again. You did and I want to hate you for this. I want to hate you...

04 February 2014, 01:25 AM
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Anger.Love

This continuance of toxic back and forth that we go through was something that I got use too. I love you then, I hate you then, I love you again. This was what we were. It was a sick twisted game that you loved to play. The genuine person that cared for you was not what you wanted. You were amused at all the times that I got angry and lashed back at you. Yeah that was it, that turned you on to wanting me. You want me then, leave me, summon me back telling me you know you need help and you nee...

04 February 2014, 01:19 AM
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Do you ever..?

Have you ever wonder what makes so you invested in one person? I ask myself time and time again how I can revolve my world around one person and out their needs before mine. Aren't you suppose to love yourself first? I don't think I have ever been that way, you know.. putting myself first. I consumed myself with him to the point where I knew nothing else, just him. That was all I wanted to know. Scary I know. But what was it about him that made me so infatuated? His style, smile, sense of fin...

04 February 2014, 01:06 AM
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1 love: theearlynovember
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Today.

Today I woke up with what I thought was a slight sense of relief, yet somewhat still alone. The first thought I had was "I wonder if he's awake yet?" I had to get myself to stop. Finding myself trying to fill my time with any and every errand that I could find was a big help. After a long day of errands, coming home to my niece making me dinner was such a happy moment. So here I am now expressing my feelings. I am sadden again by the thought of him and me not being near him but I know time he...

04 February 2014, 12:19 AM
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To start over

As I sit here and wonder what happened to get me to this point of desperation I cry. I cry because I'm sad, angry, confused, lost and alone. Eight month, that's all it took for me to become this empty soul that I am right now. Eight months was how long I've known this person that built me up just to bring me down so low and step on me while I was down. Eight months was what was lost of my time, energy and love. I feel broken to the point of no repair. Self medicating is what I'm doing to be o...

03 February 2014, 12:26 AM
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