Don't be like me. Don't procrastinate until the night before a paper is due. This is going to be a long night.
All I want is him. All the time. But I can't tell him that. I'll sound stupid. Or childish. I tried. I tried to explain how I felt. How I still love him. Love is such a foolish word. I throw it around so often now. Has it lost meaning. Can I call this feeling for him love. Or is it what he described it as. A connection. That's what it is. Just a connection.
I've suddenly realized how great I actually am. That might sound conceited. But honestly, I'm the most body positive and mentally stable that I've been in months. Maybe even a whole year. I've finally realized that I have so much control over who I am and what I want from my life. I don't have to fuck around with being someone's friend when they're truly problematic. I don't have to pretend I'm okay when I'm not. I'm allowed to be sad. I'm allowed to be angry. You can call me a bitch or whate...
This kid calls me "love" and "bae". I am not your love. I am not anything to you. Especially when he calls me bae in front of a boy I am hard-core crushing on.
I, as a lightweight, can hold my alcohol better than most people i know. If you can't handle it, please don't drink that much. You will embarass yourself.
Please do not shame people for promiscuous behavior.
Don't pretend to be someone's friend just to kep the peace. The energy it takes to act as a friend is not even worth the hassle.
Navy blue and black do not go together in my mind.
When I'm emotionally unhappy I either drink, smoke, fuck, or a combination. I'm not proud of that. But those things help.
My roommate is the biggest bitch I have encountered at college so far. She's pissed at me because I caught a virus. I got sick... And she's mad. How does that even work. And people wonder why I'm never in my room.
Shots are for hard drinking and parties. Beer is for chilling out with boys.
Boys don't have the right to get mad at me when I don't want to date them. They can't get mad because I'd rather have a one night stand with no emotion instead of a "real relationship". They can't get mad when I finally found someone who makes me feel complete. They can't get mad when I drink to feel better and then they go and do the same thing.
I don't need to smoke to feel at ease anymore. I have new outlets. I have people who care about me. I'm at peace.
Apparently having sex with two different people in one night classifies me as a slut. But who has the right to judge me other than myself. I'm perfectly fine with being a slut.
I really need this boy to stop thinking he's not good enough. He's everything I need. But he doesn't realize how amazing he is. Sure he can be a jerk but so can I. And we fit so well together.
Certain musicals kill me. Obviously not literally. But I cannot listen to a majority of my favorite musicals because they remind me of my ex. Little Mermaid, Charlie Brown, Little Shop of Horrors. I just want the memories gone.
I cannot express how stupid the thought of exclusive friends with benefits is. We aren't even having sex regularly. I'm having less sex than when I was in a relationship.
I cannot stand being alone. And I cannot stand being sober. My mind is racing.
I feel more things for this one boy than I have in a very long time.
I drank once and I felt so good about myself. And now I'm sober and I've never felt worse.