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Realization(3) Want (Fews)

Tonight i'm going crazy. I'm gona break all chains and let loose. Going on a rampage. Breaking all the rules. Getting as high as i can while being able to drink and get the fuck drunk. Going to get in a fight with my dad. It's going to be epic. Something i can take of my bucket list. Something i can regret. That's what i want. realization is i'm never going to be enough for my father or my mother. My perfection isn't their high standard perfection. daddy's little girl never was.

25 August 2015, 12:24 AM
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1 love: 22forbescarlee
3 comments: sarebear,SxlndHnst
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Write What Comes To Mind

I've resisted the urge to write constantly everyday. But when it comes to it, I'm not sure what to write. I mean sure there is plenty to write but what to write about. You don't want things to seem boring or needy or just wrong. But really, there is never the right thing to say. So don't worry and go out and write it. I caught my dad last night coming back form my grandma's, who i am spending lots of time with, over a week, smoking pot. Grandma didn't notice, the old geeser, but i did. He kne...

24 August 2015, 06:40 PM
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2 loves: 22forbescarlee,joeytongyy
1 comment: SxlndHnst
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Where do you live?

Hey everybody. I'm curious to know where you live?

15 August 2015, 11:35 PM
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2 comments: strangerinside,sarebear
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Some of Me

Ask me a question and ill answer. you know i act like all i care about is weed. but really i care about a lot of things. i realized that my notes that i write are a little all over the place. Lately when i get the chance to talk its all about weed. well im not just about weed. I'm a girl with feelings. A girl who is confused. A girl who wants to be cool. Somebody who doesn't want the wrong path but drives down it anyway going 100 mph. I'm somebody who gets upset but hides it when she doesn't ...

15 August 2015, 10:41 PM
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1 love: 22forbescarlee
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Faded rose

"What hurts the most, was being so close." We were never close. So what really hurts the most? Think of it as a faded rose. Beautiful, solid, bright, alive. But as the rose goes past its breaking point it starts to lose its beauty, its life. Petals fall. Color fades. Faded. No more rose, no more you. You went past your point. Your petals are now falling. You lost your color. You are no longer alive! Good-bye, faded rose.

15 August 2015, 10:17 PM
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1 love: 22forbescarlee
1 comment: madisoncrist11
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A couple things

i haven't been high in awhile. like awhile. my dad has cut me off. not cool. what is cool is he smokes with me, but cuttin me off, not cool. oh boy. internet is scarce. i can barely write. what you don't know, is i have a private page. eh, that's got some things on it that i'm just not ready to share yet. but i want to know, how are you doing?

28 July 2015, 03:52 PM
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1 love: 22forbescarlee
4 comments: sbdoolull,madisoncrist11,sarebear , ...
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So my dad knows that i'm not the perfect daughter. Okay blah-blah-blah, we know this. But what makes me pissed is that he judges me for the same shit he does. So i smoke weed, so does my dad. I get drunk so does my dad. I chase people, again, so does my dad. That's what makes me pissed, at how he can yell at me, but he's no better. Make sense guys? Ugh. I'm so angry that i can't even truly vent how i feel. I'm so pissed i'm gona be angrily pushing random buttons. ndfnsdndsndshdvhdvshidsvjjjhs...

01 June 2015, 09:08 PM
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4 loves: markphiliprobert,malaka.1998,QueenAbby , ...
2 comments: berrybebeful,madisoncrist11
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Addictions

Addictions are a hard thing to stop. I'm addicted to weed. I love it. I'm addicted to alcohol. To getting in trouble. Adrenaline junkie. There's tons of addictions that are small and somewhat big in my life. I'm addicted to the bad. But what's so bad about bad? Maybe it's good.

22 May 2015, 03:29 PM
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1 love: 22forbescarlee
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Realization(2) Want( high)

I realize that drugs are "bad" for you. I don't really give a fuck. Instead of scars i want high, this time round. The high is best. It's guaranteed! Its my "cope". No scars this time, just high.

24 April 2015, 12:18 AM
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1 love: 22forbescarlee
1 comment: rumplestiltskin
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Long time...long time

24 April 2015, 12:12 AM
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Truth

I am lost. I feel lost. I feel broken. A toy nobody plays with. A dog nobody pets. A baby nobody loves. I want to get ride of these feelings. I don't want to feel as if i'm going to drown in my emotions i can not get out. The damn will not break, but eventually i will. I like to blame ALL of my hurt, emotions, the feelings i feel, on the people around me. Who in turn really were some part of the torture, but not all, not even half, but i try to believe that. That causes more problems if i do....

13 February 2015, 03:23 PM
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3 loves: thecatgodd,mainstream.chan,22forbescarlee
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Realization(1) Want(infinity)

I wanted everybody to know all about me, my story, but i don't even have the balls to post half of it. But what i really want is someone who understands, who can relate, but in better ways. Who maybe is okay with not knowing everything about me and doesn't ask questions. It doesn't have to be 100 followers or even 3. Just 1 and that's what i ask. Make Sense?

03 November 2014, 05:35 PM
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2 loves: tuiqqu,mainstream.chan
2 comments: tuiqqu,Saturno
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Screw Up.

Boy..i'm a screw up. i've ruined my life. My best friend's life. My parents life...i've ruined everything i had going for me...i don't blame my best friend is she leaves me...it's for the best. i won't get her in trouble anymore or get her yelled at. Maybe she'll actually finally be TRULY HAPPY. Even though i know her being gone is for the best i'll still miss her. Even though she'll hate me for the rest of our life's, i still love her. I sure can hurt her and the people around me but that st...

29 October 2014, 08:07 PM
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5 loves: wonderaroundtilidie,mainstream.chan,blaqkn8 , ...
5 comments: rumplestiltskin,blaqkn8 , ...
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? is life really that complicated

i dont know....is life really that complicated....or am i just making it that way?

23 May 2014, 02:12 PM
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3 loves: monstergurl,wonderaroundtilidie,22forbescarlee
2 comments: rumplestiltskin,pdr97change
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what does this mean to you? to me it means that people choose art to express themselves on how they feel. to make them feel better, but not happy. you make your own happiness and art comes from you, yourself, your soul. not your feelings. to feel and to have feelings are 2 different things

09 May 2014, 02:23 PM
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5 loves: monstergurl,wonderaroundtilidie,thecatgodd , ...
1 comment: selmavdb_123
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passing notes

hahaa, i'm still passing notes. i love passing notes. specially with one of my close friends. glad hes a back

02 May 2014, 08:54 PM
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3 loves: hoplessleyinlove16,laurastraightup,22forbescarlee
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Sadness

i don't necessarly know why, but right now i just came to become depressed and sad.....sadness is filling my heart...come and save me from the dark

02 May 2014, 02:59 PM
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6 loves: lulurother,zukiegh,suzanne_drolet , ...
3 comments: zukiegh,because_im_happy,sarebear

Inspiration?

What inspires you? What inspires me? People. People inspire me, and i'll tell you why in a minute. But, what inspires you? What inspires you to do anything? To even move? I would love to know. But, people inspire me to do everything. People are what inspire me, mold me, modivate me, people make me who i am. When i wake up in the morning, i only wake up because of people. Mostly, because of my Mom and Dad. Hoping one day they will reunite. So people arent just my inspiration, as you can see, ...

02 May 2014, 02:35 PM
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4 loves: lulurother,jlwilson101,dgyazin110884 , ...
1 comment: yassmin.benga
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Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my dear sister Sarah. She's 22 today, and even though i know she won't get to read this, i love her with all my heart, good luck with her twins, and have a hell of a good birthday sis!!!

28 April 2014, 05:50 PM
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3 loves: lulurother,biah.fiores3,22forbescarlee
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Thinking About Life. You Should Try It Sometime.

So i am sitting here..alone..thinking. What am i thinking you ask? Whelp...Life. I am thinking about Life. Whelp, Life and Death actually i guess. Because people say that death is peaceful, easy, and just uncomplicated. And so it is. Life, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. It's difficult, loud & obnoxious, and definitely difficult. But that's what makes it so great! You know, you look at it now and its like "GOD I WISH I WAS DEAD, it's so much easier." But, even if it is like t...

28 April 2014, 05:46 PM
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7 loves: lulurother,monstergurl,rachelhelmberger , ...
4 comments: because_im_happy,mythoughtsoutloud,Mariam_1997 , ...