Decisions

What do you do when your life suddenly makes no sense? When everything you thought you knew, all the plans you had, all the things you thought were black and white are now all a blur of gray? The things you thought were simple are now a complicated mess. No one can tell you what to do because no one else knows what its like to have life shoved in a blender and mixed so well that now nothing is as it was before. No one knows what it feels like to have to make a decision that will change everyt...

05 February 2017, 07:27 AM
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Memory Lane

Its funny how a certain song, being in a specific place, driving down a familiar road, smelling a scent, anything really can set off a memory. You've been on my mind lately. You cross my mind here and there but lately... I've thought a lot about you. The memory of who I was when I met you. I was young, naive, curious, and hopeful. I had no fear... I was ready and willing to take anything life could throw at my 18 year old self. I miss the old me. I miss her probably more than I'd like to admi...

13 February 2014, 09:02 AM
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Feeling Helpless

It hurts my heart to see you so sad. To see you cry, to see you stare off blankly into space as you undoubtedly think about your grandma. To see you, my rock, my strength fall to pieces. I cannot express or explain how sorry I am for your loss. How much your hurt, hurts me. There are no words, nothing I can say or do to comfort you. Nothing I can do to change things. I can only be there for you... and I'm so lucky that you've let me be there for you. That you haven't closed yourself off. That...

21 August 2013, 09:14 AM
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You

... Drive me crazy, argue with me, laugh at me, and annoy me. You scold me when I fuck up, never pass up a chance to say, "I told you so", you pick on me, and sometimes you're a grouch. But you're everything I never knew I wanted. You're a pain in my ass and I'm sure the feeling is mutual... But for whatever reason, it seems to work. Even miles apart, we still manage to be there for one another... Sometimes it amazes me just how strange our journey together has been. We've created some crazy ...

30 July 2013, 09:23 AM
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Too nice to say, "no".

It drives me absolutely nuts that you can't say no to people! Wait, let me rephrase that... you can't say no to other people, because you don't have a problem telling me no and putting my ass in place when need be. I see so many people who ask so much of you and aren't there when you need them. People who disappear and then magically appear when they need something from you. It hurts my heart and bugs the shit out of me that you let people do this to you. Even when I try to explain to you wha...

24 July 2013, 09:16 AM
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Mixed Emotions...

Today I realized just how close to the end of my program I really am. Just a handful of classes left and then I'll be ready for cert prep and externship. When I first started this program, it felt like it was going to take FOREVER. A year sounds like a decent amount of time but... now that my year is drawing to a close, I wish time would slow down a bit. I feel like I finally got into the groove of things, finally found my flow and now, it's almost over. I've not only gotten used to going to ...

15 July 2013, 08:53 AM
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Finally...

I feel like it's been a constant uphill battle. For almost two years I've had to work my ass off, doing work I didn't want to, being pushed around and made to do more than I signed up for. Some days I felt like it wasn't even worth it. I felt like no one even took notice that I did almost all that I'm asked, I showed up EARLY for my shifts, I did EXTRA work and didn't just twiddle my thumbs when things slowed down... I found work to do. I think it's finally paid off. Today I got the news that...

13 July 2013, 10:15 AM
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Forgive and Forget...

To me, sometimes you just can't forgive and forget... sometimes it's got to be one or the other. I either forgive you and we move on from whatever bullshit happened (although I may never forget what you did, its something that isn't big enough to break ties). Or I forget... not only do I forget what happened but I forget you too. I listened as my co-worker explained to me how her past relationship ended; she was betrayed, hurt, used... and just left in pieces. I listened to her and couldn't h...

06 July 2013, 07:52 AM
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Fakes, phonies, and Friends...

Before I used to feel awkward for not having a million friends, for not being one of the "popular" kids. I used to feel like maybe there was something wrong with me... I know I wasn't an outcast... people were never mean to me. I was just the quiet girl who was nice to everyone. I never gave anyone a reason to not like me. I always kept my opinions and thoughts to myself for fear of upsetting someone. As I got older, I opened up more. I came out of my shell and I started to stand up for mysel...

05 July 2013, 09:13 AM
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Chasing shots, chasing dreams...

I used to think maybe I was crazy, that maybe I imagined this "new" you. You like to say you haven't changed but it's pretty obvious and safe to say that it's not my mind creating some distorted version of you. You really are different. I see pictures, I see posts, and I'm sad. Not for me, but for you. Is this the life that you really want? To drink every night, to live at the bar, to come home so ripped off your ass that you pee in your sleep...? I see this "new" you and I wonder who the hel...

02 July 2013, 10:13 AM
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Little Reminders...

Every once in a while I go crazy. I think crazy thoughts, I let my imagination run wild and then one thing leads to another and I've reverted to being a crazy jealous girlfriend. (so not the business, I know) I go a little whack and I'm ashamed and embarrassed by my sometimes outlandish behavior. You are one of the few men who have come into my life and haven't disappointed or hurt me. I need to remember this... Tonight I made a comment, one I immediately regretted once it left my lips. But i...

30 June 2013, 10:29 AM
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Procrastination at it's finest...

I have a million and one things on my "to do" list, a ton of homework, and still I would rather write... not even about anything in particular. There aren't any pressing thoughts I need to commit to "paper" nothing plauging me, nothing to get off my chest and yet I continue to write. Anything to avoid doing HOMEWORK. If there were an award for procrastination I would win. I can spend HOURS doing absolutely nothing, watching re-runs of shows I've already seen... twice, pinteresting, watching y...

30 June 2013, 03:02 AM
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Pinterest

28 June 2013, 09:55 AM
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Pinterest

28 June 2013, 09:52 AM
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Pinterest

28 June 2013, 09:39 AM
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Life

Its been an rough journey thus far. I've had my share of ups and downs, good times and bad. I've ended up in places and situations that I would've never imagined myself in... and I wouldn't change a damn thing! Every once in a while I take a step back and find myself completely in awe of this amazing journey and where it's taken me. I'm nowhere near where I'd thought I'd be five years ago... but I'm happy. I've seen good days and bad and have had a few road blocks but I wouldn't trade it for ...

28 June 2013, 08:44 AM
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Be Kind to Others...

As a child I was always told to be kind to others, even though I may not have always listened. Sadly, I find that even as an adult, I'm not as nice, caring, sympathetic, or generous as I COULD be. Today I found out that my old landlord had passed away and it struck a place in my heart. I didn't know him very long, a few years at most but during those few years he managed to show both my roommate/best friend and I what it means to have a big heart. He was always compassionate and understanding...

28 June 2013, 08:15 AM
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Who knew?

Sometimes life gets overwhelming. School gets to be frustrating, work gets to be too much, and life in general gets hectic. There are times where I just lay in bed and it takes everything in me to get up and get moving. Sometimes it all gets to be too much. Those are the times where I'm so glad to have you in my life. You're the one who keeps me grounded. The one who makes me realize that life isn't complicated... unless I make it that way. You remind me that I'm not alone and that nothing is...

19 June 2013, 08:24 AM
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