Journal_pane_10237321415758048

I get it.

That's it, I'm off everything, I give up :) You won't hear about me, you won't even knew that I've ever existed. I've never thought that I'll have this pure moment with someone again but it happened.. I'm just not lucky enough to make it work. You're one of the best persons I've ever met and I wish you all the happiness in the world, I just hope you won't regret some things you're doing while being manipulated like the others cause I know it won't last :)

12 November 2014, 02:07 AM
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Journal_pane_10237321415478214

This ..

08 November 2014, 08:23 PM
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Journal_pane_10237321415389170

I'm so pathetic sometimes, so fucking PATHETIC! But the good thing is now I know it :) It's kinda hard to hide your feelings from her, it's even harder when you know that she, was never interested in you or for what you're ready to do just to keep her happy.. I've never felt this sad and rejected before.. Whatever, I'll just try to move on, like I've always done but I'm pretty sure it's not gonna work out cause I, I really like her..

07 November 2014, 07:39 PM
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1 love: Useless
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Journal_pane_10237321415126686

Lost!..

I don't feel good.. I can't study at my ease, can't lay in bed without thinking, can't even eat good ! Dunno what's happening, I've got that creepy feeling of sadness that haunts me 24/7, my head is burning but my mouth is shut, like the old days..

04 November 2014, 06:44 PM
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1 love: xx120408
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Journal_pane_10237321414767543

Just.. leave me alone, please :)

Everybody thinks I'm a superficial person, I'm the guy who knows everybody, I'm the guy who doesn't care about a thing, I'm the dumb friend who doesn't know a thing, but still stick with you when you need help,some of them thinks that they're fooling me.. But no, I'm aware of everything around me, I know what's happening, I see everything, and gets really hurt by some acts, words,.. I just don't want more problems.. I'm okey with loneliness now! After all, I prefer living alone rather than li...

31 October 2014, 02:59 PM
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Journal_pane_10237321414719600

Unlucky like I've always been ^^

Wanna know how many times I've wished or dreamt of something to happen and in the end it happens? None! Wanna know how many times I've spent a whole night thinking about how silly and useless I am? Guess it's been years since I've started to do that everyfreakingnight.. I'm depressed, I feel stupid, so stupid..

31 October 2014, 01:40 AM
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1 love: laaalooo999f
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What I want?

I want peace in my life, I want to settle down, I want to lose weight, I want to pass my current year, I want to protect my closest friends and keep them from doing bad things.. I want to keep high hopes that one day I'll be lucky enough to have her.. I want to keep my home clean, cheerful and shiny, I want to change and I will change no matter what happened..

26 October 2014, 12:58 PM
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1 love: jasmin_razali
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Journal_pane_10237321414018978

And life goes on..

I thought I had this gift of knowing if a person is good enough to hang out with or not.. I think I might reconsider that now.. I was so wrong about many people that I knew, people that I used to call "friends" or even "bros".. Good thing is, I've learned something, when someone walks out from your life, someone else will walks into it, someone that you'll wish he wouldn't let you down like everybody else did..

23 October 2014, 12:03 AM
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1 love: laaalooo999f
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Journal_pane_10237321413945528

Why?..

Why problems always pop up when I start feeling good? Why can't I have a normal calm college life? Why the fuck can't I just have a loving girlfriend that I can share everything with? Why can't I have normal friends that could carry me if I fall, and help me chill when I'm sad? Why can't I live in peace? Why everything which sounds right, turns to be wrong in the end? Why God hates me so much? Just wanna know why..

22 October 2014, 03:38 AM
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1 love: laaalooo999f
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Journal_pane_10237321413523132

What's wrong with me?

I've always loved spending all my night awake doing nothing, I just love it when it's dark, I love gazing at the moon for hours, I love the calm,.. I think I'm Batman, literally (just kidding XD)

17 October 2014, 06:19 AM
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1 love: laaalooo999f
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Journal_pane_10237321413416425

My life dreams?

Since my childhood, I always wanted to be a doctor, a good one. I've lost it these past 2 years but I think that I'm ready to go on with my life now, I'm ready to do it ! besides this, I wanna find out a person that I can share with all my life, a soul mate who wouldn't judge me for the mistakes I make but instead helps me how to fix 'em.. I've had that person once, but she's gone forever, I just had to move on.. Last thing, I wanna learn how to cook, it sounds gay doesn't it :p but I don't...

16 October 2014, 12:40 AM
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Journal_pane_10237321413415610

"Relationshits"

I wasn't that popular guy since my childhood.. I hate people, I hate making new friends, I even hate the fact that some people concider me as a friend.. I have this allergy to relationships that keeps me away from being that cool dude who's everyone's friend I've known so many people, from every corner of this country.. The thing is, I had but problems from these acquaintances and it's not really worth my time nor my life.. I have only like 1% of the people I know that I can trust, love and d...

16 October 2014, 12:26 AM
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1 love: laaalooo999f
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Journal_pane_10237321413414034

I'm a creep, why hiding it?

This picture is what I looked like back in the past, and now, I have all these black spots .. wanna know why? Cause I've had a dermal cancer that I didn't wanna cure it.. I sincerely wanted to die without having anyone to know about it, even my parents.. I know that I was hard on myself but all my life was in a mess and I saw this like an easy way to solve all my problems with. I've had chemo and all these treatments for like 3 months now and I think I'm healed, hopefully all these black mar...

16 October 2014, 12:00 AM
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Journal_pane_10237321413413017

I need an escape..

I was kinda lost these last days, I couldn't figure out what to do with my life, until a good friend of mine showed me her personal diary, i've read it, there were notes that I've even read twice or more.. I was really inspired with her writing and by the way she faces her problems.. So, here I am, taking all the shitty things that happened, happens and will happen to me from my real world to this private website.. Atleast, no one will ever judge me here :)

15 October 2014, 11:43 PM
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2 loves: ksibikhouloud,laaalooo999f
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