A year ago...

So it's been almost a year. I'm sure you don't care. You haven't called me, so you must not. You've moved on...I hate not knowing if you think of me. I know it sounds silly, but I loved you so much...I was 150% in that relationship until you acted like you were only 25% in the relationship. I don't know that someone can love you more than I did.

27 August 2015, 11:44 PM
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Life

It has so much to offer, but then it ends. Sometimes it feels like it's pointless to do anything meaningful, or care what others think or any of that. Everything feels like a struggle. I rarely feel like everything is just awesome. I need a new brain.

25 August 2015, 10:53 PM
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Last night

Last night I cried because I didn't want to exist anymore. It was such a hard and painful cry. I felt so lonely and so hopeless. I got myself through it somehow and I went to bed. Today is a new day.

12 August 2015, 05:27 PM
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Madness is consuming me

My boyfriend went back home for 11 days. He's been gone 4 as of today. He called me the 1st night he was gone but I have only text him since. And when I do it feels like I'm initiating the conversation and his responses are like only one sentence long each time. I feel like I'm bugging him. He hung out with his male friend 2 nights in a row at his house...that's fine. But then last night he hung out with his female friend (the sister) and I have no idea how long he did. He was with her and h...

12 August 2015, 04:09 PM
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Out of it

I feel out of it lately. Like I just want to sit home and do nothing and be nothing and just not have to go anywhere or do anything or talk to anyone. Why can't we have like a time in our lives where we can take off a few months and still be paid for our job? That would be nice. I'm so tired of working almost every single day of my life.

22 July 2015, 09:08 PM
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Anxiety at it's worst

I am sometimes anxious to go home. My boyfriend is constantly doing something goofy or silly while I'm trying to watch tv or he's trying to grope me with no intention of us proceeding to having sex and it's so irritating. I want him to want to do that stuff with me when we're romantic and all that only, ya know? Anyone else have this problem? It's like as soon as I walk in the room he has to touch me somewhere or come up behind me and act like he's having sex with me. Is this just a man thin...

14 July 2015, 04:08 PM
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Spoken words...

Yesterday I told my boyfriend what was up....give me some attention...spend some quality time with me. Us running around doing errands and you being grumpy does not equate to us "spending time together". I want to go to the movies, or go to dinner, or watch tv, or play a game. SOMETHING WITH YOU where it's quality. Why wouldn't he want to do that? If he doesn't want to spend time with me, why is he in a relationship with me? He can have a free place to live with his parents. Why is he here ...

02 July 2015, 05:25 PM
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Drifting....apart

I feel like my boyfriend and I are drifting apart. I ask him if we can spend time together and he rarely does. I feel like we only do things together like 2 times a week and we LIVE together. I don't feel like I'm being too needy. I mean ya I live with him, but other than sleeping in the same bed and doing some household stuff, we don't spend quality time together often. I'm getting bummed out and what's worse is that he says I'm "acting weird" lately and that I don't spend time with HIM! ...

30 June 2015, 09:30 PM
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Tiiired

Got my keys yesterday, finally! Started moving boxes after work. Did about 4 round trips and then sealed the grout in the kitchen and the entry way....phew I am tired. Owning a home is already proving to be work...and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Still have to put in greenery in the backyard as it's new construction and only consists of dirt. Tonight will be moving more boxes (and packing first probably since now there's room in the apt to actually do so) and then finishing the grout ...

18 June 2015, 05:51 PM
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Keys, keys, keys

The loan processor told me that the loan went through and was final and that I could get my keys today....what a tease. I was so upset...when I called the Sales Office where I bought my house they said..."We haven't received a confirmation from the mortgage company saying it was recorded." Even though she told me....therefore NO keys tonight....another night of sitting leaving only 1 day to move all the boxes over before I have family come over to help me move the big items. Damn, I really d...

17 June 2015, 03:17 AM
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Almost Moving Day

I signed my final loan documents yesterday and should get my keys Tuesday or Wednesday! I will officially be a homeowner! Not something I thought I'd ever say without being married. I'm really proud of myself. I got a new job making better money and it's less stressful, I secured a mortgage loan based on solely my income and no one else's. I'm thinking more positively and trying to live a happy life without negative thinking drowning me. Not to say I don't have set backs, but I feel lik...

14 June 2015, 06:52 PM
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2 loves: dgyazin110884,rainbowsandunicorns
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New job!

First day at my new job today. I'm excited to be free from my old job. I hope to have fun at this job and not feel so stressed out. That's when you get the best results, right? :) Gotta go get ready!

01 June 2015, 02:49 PM
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Appreciation Notes

1.I appreciate love. 2.I appreciate understanding. 3.I appreciate hope. 4.I appreciate nature. 5.I appreciate my computer. 6.I appreciate good weather and beautiful days. 7.I appreciate nature. 8.I appreciate opportunities. 9.I appreciate Joe. 10.I appreciate Chloe. 11.I appreciate my mom. 12.I appreciate my iphone carrying case. 13.I appreciate how cute Chloe is being right now. 14.I appreciate the universe. 15.I appreciate existence. 16.I appreciate learning. 17.I appreciate water. 18.I app...

18 May 2015, 03:29 PM
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Perception

Do you ever want to be in someone's brain to know what they're thinking and what triggered them to think that particular thought? I mean, not just to be them or anything, but to have your awareness and be able to decipher their thought patterns and why they perceive something how they do? It'd be cool if that was a technology we had. Then maybe people wouldn't feel so misunderstood. I can't tell you how many times in my past relationship I thought I was letting my ex know what I needed and...

13 May 2015, 10:29 PM
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Forgiven

I forgive you. I know you are just trying to hurt me and I forgive you, because you are hurting too.

13 May 2015, 02:52 PM
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1 love: sony_ddb1
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I feel good!

So I decided that smoking every day (even on the weekdays) was keeping me sleepy and groggy. I had willpower last night and didn't smoke even a little bit. I feel fantastic today! I even slept well too. I'm glad. :) Maybe I can keep it up. Only using it for weekend needs. I think that's what I'm going to try to do.

07 May 2015, 06:31 PM
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Everyday is a new challenge

I've been working on being happy. Truly happy. From the inside out. Shit's hard. We're constantly bogged down by negative complaining co-workers, comedians, commercials, radio personalities, news reels, etc. It's tough! It's so much easier to be negative and angry, but it makes you and everyone around you so much more miserable. I don't want to be one of those people. Not that I want to be a hippie, but I get where they were coming from. Love and peace. On another note, I think he intenti...

06 May 2015, 06:24 PM
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Job hunting

So I got a call back about a job I applied to on last Wednesday. Went for the job interview Thursday and he said he had another on Friday, but he'd call me for a second interview to meet the other CPA if I was moving forward. Now it's just the waiting game. I want the job, it seems like a nice low key place to work. Not too many co-workers to deal with (which obviously I don't do well with lots of people). We'll see how it goes. I know if I don't get this job it won't be the end of the wor...

04 May 2015, 06:12 PM
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The high maintenance chick

Apparently high maintenance means demanding a lot of attention. I didn't think I was this way anymore, but I've been proven to be wrong. I used to be able to do things on my own but ever since my bf moved in I've gotten worse again. Before my boyfriend that I am no longer with lived in his own apartment and I lived in mine. Granted I didn't like this because I would feel lonely from time to time especially at night time when I wanted someone to be there to help me feel safe and not paranoid...

27 April 2015, 06:17 PM
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Thoughts on yesterday

You know how you think you know someone....and then after you break up you realize by their actions they are not who you thought they were and you realize they never cared like they claimed they did? Yeah I'm in that boat.

21 April 2015, 03:45 PM
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2 loves: zulumbalenhle9,theboringme
2 comments: bramwellh,mzaprilmae