Journal_pane_9964731401255422

Crave

I need something. recently I've began to realize somethings missing. It hurts. What am I supposed to do when nothing helps you feel better anymore, the way it used to? Before, I could sing. I could draw. I could talk to someone. I could read. It's strange to think that now, nothing feels the same. I don't feel the same anymore. Am I supposed to have to get high or drunk to actually feel something other than numb, lonely, emptiness? Nothing gets through to me anymore. I feel like nothing can...

28 May 2014, 06:37 AM
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Journal_pane_9964731401255201

Crave

I need something. recently I've began to realize somethings missing. It hurts. What am I supposed to do when nothing helps you feel better anymore, the way it used to? Before, I could sing. I could draw. I could talk to someone. I could read. It's strange to think that now, nothing feels the same. I don't feel the same anymore. Am I supposed to have to get high or drunk to actually feel something other than numb, lonely, emptiness? Nothing gets through to me anymore. I feel like nothing can...

28 May 2014, 06:33 AM
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Journal_pane_9964731401254656

Safe

When I'm scared, or worried, or anxious about the future, the easiest thing for me to do is think that I'm not gonna have to deal with any of this soon. From now on, I'll be cherishing moments, because I know I'm going to end this all soon. I won't have to worry about it, because I'll be gone. I'll be far away. Physically. Mentally. I'll be lost. I don't car how anymore. I just know I can't take much anymore. Either eventually I'll break. Or I never will. Which would be worse. When you hav...

28 May 2014, 06:24 AM
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Journal_pane_9964731400912142

Reason

Suicide. It's a very sensitive subject. A very serious subject. When you're depressed, no one really cares until you show the "bad" or "normal" signs of it. Like cutting yourself. That'll get attention. Oh but saying you want to kill yourself, it could get attention, but it's not to big of a deal. not until its actually happened. They'll just think you're "never really gonna do it". If people don't see proof that your depressed, the don't really care too much. If they do see proof, they thin...

24 May 2014, 07:15 AM
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Journal_pane_9964731399714576

Aimee

When I was younger, my sister honestly scared the hell out me. She was always kind of "alternative" looking, doing strange things, that to a young girl was a bit scary. But me, as a young girl, I was quite obsessed and intrigued by her. I wanted be just like her. Every thing she did, I wanted to do to. I loved the way she looked at things, the way she saw the world and laughed at it. Being with her was very nervous-wrecking for me though. I, under no circumstances, wanted her to dislike me at...

10 May 2014, 10:36 AM
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Journal_pane_9964731399607998

Mother

When I was younger, and I'm sure when everyone was younger, I thought my mom was wonderful. I would cry when she left me at school. My mom, she's stressed. We live in a family with 3 autistic boys, one screams constantly, one is silent, and the other, older than me, is pretty okay. He struggles from time to time. My mom, even before the autistic sons, was stressed. She was raising kids, not even her own kids, which I imagine is rough. These are the things I will give my mom, and the only thi...

09 May 2014, 05:00 AM
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Journal_pane_9964731399607224

More

It's moments like these that bring me down the most. Moments where I can't talk. I never know how to say, or what to say. When, I don't exactly even know what I want to say, or even if I want to say anything at all.

09 May 2014, 04:47 AM
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Journal_pane_9964731399528419

Thoughtful

Ive always been way too "in my head" when it comes to things. anything, really. I'm always thinking, "What do i look like?" "Do I look normal?" I realize this is a common thing for people with anxiety, like me. In the past, when it came to anxiety, it ruled my life. Its what I lived by. I had rules, like when I would wake up, how I would say hello, how I put on my makeup to cover my acne. Then this "depression" came barreling in out of, well i would say nowhere, but we know that's not true. ...

08 May 2014, 06:53 AM
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