missing the past

i signed in the old email accout and found out that all of the mails are gone, zero gone just nothing. all of my mails and chat history are part of who i was, how i chat, how i used to think, attitudes, relationships and many more and now they're all gone. i left them too long i know it's sounds stupid but sometimes i really missed my past, my sweet past and some are bittersweet/best mistakes. the reason why i signed in is because i just want to have a glimpse of the past, a tiny fraction of ...

29 August 2015, 04:53 PM
l
love
1 comment: jlynnaz

Soulmate Theories: begining of theories

4th june 2014, the indescribable day, the guy(i just feel uncomfortable to mension his name so i'm gonna call him " THE GUY") played the fortune teller record that has been told to THE GUY many years ago before he met me, she said he slipped his soul-mate away but he's gonna find another which, of course not his soul mate there're three choices which i'm one of them, it's sucks to hear that. while listening to the record he describe about his ex "the one girl" what an awkward moment. the next...

14 June 2014, 04:25 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9394471389029583

Choiceless time.

i am trying my best to do all the paperworks right. but i do not understand why it's always wrong or i missed to type something on like month or adresses. Well, i'm gonna tell the story i'm 19 and studying for Uni at home. yes, i'm homeschooled. months after months i tried my best to do the paperwork for my family company ( i don't understand why people always think that studying at home means you have planty of time? i have 10 more books to be read and having exams in 27.04.14) i'm so tired...

06 January 2014, 05:33 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9394471387334963

Shopping Issue.

hearing Christmas songs in malls always makes me go crazy, like i'm in heaven and everything turns magically beautiful and then i just shop. everytime i shop, i have rules 1. Do not shop over my budget. 2. Shop once in three months. i know it's too long but when i shop, i can open my own boutique. but i can't do that anymore it's like an addiction. i think about spending money all the time. i'm hoping writing would make me feel better. eventhough i almost clean out my bank account, my head s...

18 December 2013, 02:49 AM
l
love
1 comment: imranabbas
Journal_pane_9394471385988937

FUCK THE PRESSURES!

i hadn't write diary for awhile and i feel bad when i only write things when i'm having troubles:( i hate my life as fuck... things are like going down down and down. i'm only 19 but ppl expect me to be like 30, i know it sounds selfish to think like you're never growing up. the point is i'm 19 and it's too young to give me HUGE responsibilities. When you did thing well, you'll never get the compliment, actually i didn't expect that back but when you did a tiny little ant shit mistake, you f...

02 December 2013, 12:55 PM
l
2 loves: freedompassion,phuongthaopt67
comment
Journal_pane_9394471377100658

Tous les garcons et les filles de mon age Savent bien ce que c'est d'etre heureux Et les yeux dans les yeux Et la main dans la main Ils s'en vont amoureux Sans peur du lendemain Oui mais moi je vais seule Dans la rue l'ame en peine Oui mais moi je vais seule Car personne ne m'aime Mes jours comme mes nuits Sont en tous points pareils Sans joies et pleins d'ennuis Personne ne murmure je t'aime a mon oreille... aww, everytime i hear this song, reminded me of the first time i heard this song i...

21 August 2013, 04:57 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9394471376670487

Now: Feelings and Studying

i feel like i'm under the great pressure. Because a friend say something to me like i had chosen a really bad choice for Uni. and now i'm gonna work super hard on this, i can't fail, even just a little. And i know if i fall, someone gonna say something to me to make it worse like " that's what you chose, i told you not to now who's right?", " i don't understand about your choice, don't you just wanna be free?", " don't you don't wanna have Uni experience, it's fun you know?" i know how fun it...

16 August 2013, 05:28 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9394471376588999

Be Strong

i had a friend who never be a supportive, everything of my decisions never been supported by her, always asks things about my decisions like i'm miserable. i know it sucks and hurts at the same time, and sometimes i felt like the way she talked or her actions were mean and selfish. but sometimes she's a good friend but mostly not. i just don't understand. if i've chose something it means all friend can do are support and tell you about the consequences. thank god that i'm here and get throu...

15 August 2013, 06:50 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9394471376230458

Madly in love with 20's musics.

while i'm watching Vamps i heard a song from 20's (it's Gene Austin's) it's been stuck in my head and i told myself that i have to look for the name of the song. when i found it. it makes my feel MADLY IN LOVE WITH ALL SONGS IN 20'S and i just can't explain it, it's like glam and make you wanna listen to the song til the end, it's not like a boring pop song or stupid love songs it's more than that. How amazing it could be if i could turn back in the time of my great grand parents, 20's WOW...

11 August 2013, 03:14 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9394471375727660

Life = ?

what does life mean? for me, i think it's only has meaning when you're alive ,having memories, feel those good things and it makes you happy,sad or when you did mistakes and learn your lessons.But when you're dead, it's just an history that someone or no one will talk about and when that one died who the hell's gonna care? so those meanings are only meant to you and it'll gone with you. It's like zero situation HAPPENED=NEVER HAPPENED. so what's the point of life? if they just gone with you a...

05 August 2013, 07:34 PM
l
1 love: tanvi16
comment
Journal_pane_9394471375554936

Love and Ending

Every single love relationship has their own ending maybe by breaking up, separation or death, i know it's creepy when you're thinking of it while you're madly in love and it's like you're waiting for the time and it just take your love away. with those feelings and your reactions, sadness, crying your heart out, screaming out loud hoping it'll end, praying you'll be healed etc. these are the prices that we all have to pay (one day). Depends on how much you feel. if you feel like you're hurt...

03 August 2013, 07:35 PM
l
1 love: NYDreamer
comment
Journal_pane_9394471375462491

Anonymous Lover

i used to dream of a guy i don't know for many years last time i dreamt of him was a 1-2 years ago it's started with(i was 14) i dreamt that we hangout to somewhere that i don't know and i have a strong feeling that we're in love ( isn't that crazy?) after i woke up i still feel those feeling in my dream it happen again and again in many places just like reality unluckily it's not :( but the strangest thing is I NEVER REMEMBER HIS FACE...*** and the last time i dreamt about him we went in a p...

02 August 2013, 05:54 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_9394471375430754

Homeschool

It's kinda weird when your were an invisible ones in highschool and no one knows you but when you graduated and chose to study Uni at home BOOM! many people suddenly know me. I'm tired of answer those question " why did you chose to be homeschool? ", " why why why blah blah blah" WHY NOT? I like to be homeschool, i don't wanna wate my time on Uni ( not that i don't care about my future but i'll work for my family's businesses) so now i'm gonna work SUPER hard on my education and just be mys...

02 August 2013, 09:06 AM
l
2 loves: tanvi16,NYDreamer
1 comment: tanvi16