You know there's only one exam left and then I'll have nothing left with me..If I nail it everything's gonna be okay..If I don't..well I dunno may be I'll take my last breath..I've always been like this..I see dead end beyond every goal of mine..no change of path.. You know sometimes I feel so low that it becomes really hard to breathe..Oh and I've anxiety disorder too..sucks..well this is my fucked up.. never getting better life.. I'm tired of waiting for everything to be alright.. I mean my...
I'm usually very high spirited..but all the struggles are making me weak now..and I've to admit it I'm not MISS OPTIMISTIC anymore..I see red everywhere..I feel inadequate..I mean It's definitely not me who can fill others life with colours..CZ my own life is dark..my dad is always tensed all the damn time..of course the reason is me..I'm a bad omen I guess..i mean he loves me so much..he has sacrificed all his luxuries just to put life into my dreams.. n I can do nothing but disappoint him ...
A year has passed since i gave my premed exam last time..tomorrow m gonna give it again ..m scared and m numb at the same time..finally tomorrow i'll know my future..I'll know if i will get to touch my dreams and wrap myself into it..I've changed a lot..during all this time..I know what i want from life..well almost..I'll nail it I know after all i've worked so damn hard..i'll make my dad proud..I'll bring the sunshine in my life and fill all the dark places with blinding lights..Its a big da...
she's so shallow..wen i told her about all the shit i went thru..she ws lyk okay now move on..man i wanted to punch her face..wtever u knw wt m glad at lesat i wnt miss her now...:) life is full of new opportunities..i wanna get rid of old shit..
i txtd ma ex bst frnd..n yeah we r tokin.. dude she's still the same..irritating..n i needa cntrl ma emotions..
i really miss u..but i can't ever forget what you did to me..i hate the fact that you chose lie over the truth..i loved you unconditionally..i adored you..then why the hell did you do that..???I need you but m gunna be fine..your dreams keep hauntin me all the time..:'(..i know you came back but i kicked you out again but now i dunno what to do..
dsz 2 mch..wt da hell does dat sleazeball thnk of hmslf??he's threatening me dat he'll call ma mum n tell her bot our relationship if i don't tok 2 him...he's forcin me 2 meet him..OH GOD here i admit 2dayits jus hs bloody obsession nt love..he's emotionally abused me for 2 years..he's hit me thrice..n always brainwashed me n made me think dat i deserved it..well no matter wt i never deserved such sleazy things in my life..now wen i've failed in ma entrance exams my dream has shattered..ma fa...
i think i needa be left 2 go as mch crazy as i want 2..:p i needa lose ma mind n go insane..
recently i've figured out dat 4 some tym i m gunna have 2 be own ma own..no1 2 share ma goss wd..:(okie i'll be fyn ...m gud m a grenade..
Why's takin decisions on ur own so tough?? OKAY..so i just broke up with my boyfriend..who ws my only best friend..n so technically i have lost my boyfriend n my bestfriend...it hurts..but it was important..GOD gimme strength..
Okay so this is totally unbelievable..today my mom told me dat she n dad r gunna gimme 1 last chance..so i can drop 4 1 year n apply for MBBS entrance exams next year...okay..great..now what do I need to do?? Well..frst of all i need a break free from all the shit of life..I've spent 2 years livin lyk a zombie..now enough..i needa break free from dese chains..erase these boundaries...n be ME..i needa go through my own shit n figure out my weak points..and all dat..god life's hectic..:p
So today it was my last medical entrance exam..god no it wasn't gud as i was feelin nauseous in da xam hall..but previous ones were gud..though i'm sure as hell..i won't clear it this year.:(..its so damn frustratin..n my mom is lyk do u wanna go for other courses ??? All these years i've dreamed of jus one thin..gettin into a gudmedical college..n now i'm realisin GOD m screwed up..!!!