blogging it out again, feeling as lost as usual with no real incentive of where to go next. I wonder what life would be like if things were different.. Like if I could have a do-over? Or if I could change one moment from the past? I wonder what my now present would be like. Would I still have my boyfriend or would I have dated that guy that now does weed? Would I still be in school or would I have followed my mothers path and be ready to pop with my first kid now? Would I still be in school o...

03 August 2013, 09:59 AM
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You ever gonna wake up and realize?

Sometimes I seriously wonder if anyone actually cares what they are doing to me. I mean seriously dad you can not just pick and chose when you want to be in my life! That just isn't how this is going to work anymore. Im not a child anymore and you cant force me to feel like shit anymore. I wont deal with this crap from you anymore because in my eyes, I no longer have a dad. Oh and then there is you mum. How dare you think that it is okay to think about not telling me that my dad is contacting...

03 August 2013, 09:52 AM
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CONFLICTED

I have no idea what to do anymore about school, could say I want to drop out but I need to prove mum wrong. You see everyone (including herself) say that I am exactly like her, but Im not. I am not going to drop out and I am not pregos at 17 and I will not be, I am me. Not anyone else. So why do I let others push me over? UH! Who knows with me. Everyone is on my back to do what they think is right for me but do I actually know what is right for me? I want to do things at school that others ca...

27 June 2013, 01:02 PM
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WILL YOU ALL BE HAPPY?

This picture is what I will look like once everyone else has decided to stop messing with my body. Ill be nothing. Ill have nothing left. I won't look like myself anymore. Maybe once I'm all skin and bones. You will all leave me alone and be happy.

30 May 2013, 04:37 AM
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Dream Dress!

So I got invited to formal this year and hey yes I'm so excited because I get to dress up but at the same time I don't want to go! I'm not the same as all of those other girls. I'm not a size 2, I'm curvy.. But I embrace my curves and I love them. People shouldn't just put me down for the sake of putting people down. I wish people would think before they speak. Maybe they are the reason why I'm like I am.

30 May 2013, 03:42 AM
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OLD PHOTO, COUSIN LOVE

My cousin is awesome, even though I don't get to see him anymore. He is one of the people I miss the most of all out of all the family I don't see. I remember the last time we were together, being dorks, walking around in the dark, looking at the stars, laying on the trampoline, watching movies, play fighting, towel fights. I remember all that. I miss him. I miss that. I miss that trip. I miss being younger, why did we both have to group up and grow apart?

29 May 2013, 01:13 PM
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MUM, READ MY BLOG?

I wonder if my mum read my blog, if she would understand what she does to me and my life.. I wonder is she would back off a little or just kick my ass. Either way I think it would be worth the risk. Anyone out there reading this, link it to her anonymously please!

29 May 2013, 01:10 PM
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School Day Sucked!

School was not fun today, not that it is many other days if I am being completely honest. Today, I just had one of those days where my moods would change like crazy, I could go from feeling 'on top of the world' to like absolute shit. I could completely lose myself in a mindless stare and zone out of everything completely. Today was one of those days like many others, where I saw old friends who use to mean the most to me, look at me like I was a complete stranger. Like we had never met befor...

29 May 2013, 01:05 PM
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"DAD"

HEY THERE DAD? Do you remember me? Do you think about me? Do you ever think that maybe you should call me or text me? That any contact would be better than none at all. HEY DADDY? Remember me? Your first born, your first girl, the first that you held in your hands, the first kiss, the first cuddle? Do you remember that or is it only me? All I can remember is what I picture in my head of wanting you to be. I MISS YOU DADDY! I really do miss you. Remember that happy young girl that use to run t...

29 May 2013, 12:58 PM
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I like to hide the pain I feel by putting on a fake smile, acting like nothings wrong and pretending to be happy. Its funny, how many people actually fall for the disguise....

29 May 2013, 12:51 PM
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SUICIDE?

I do not know personally of anyone that has committed suicide,I felt that it was always stupid and people only did it because they were weak and couldn't handle anything. Now I understand. You don't commit suicide because you can't handle things or because you are weak, you do it because you have been so hurt and mentally are exhausted that you can't possibly think of living the life that you are anymore. I don't applaud those who choose suicide but I understand. And now it has come to someth...

29 May 2013, 09:08 AM
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GANGED UP AND LEFT ALONE!

When your own mother gangs up on you to purposely make you feel shit, that's just so low. Wondering how much longer I can take the shit from her without just losing my shit completely... Why can't parents just be supportive? Not tear you down because your not what they picture you to be. Of course I'm not like you! Far out. I'm not you! Just because everyone says I am like does not mean I am YOU. and to be honest, I don't want to be you! I'm not the one who stuffed up her life like you did. I...

29 May 2013, 04:40 AM
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Mother troubles.

I don't know what to do with my own mother anymore. I know it's like the typical teenage thing to say but it is so true. She can be the nicest and yet she can be the worst person in my life.

29 May 2013, 12:49 AM
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"TROUBLE IN PARADISE"

I guess I now understand what everyone means when they say trouble in paradise. When everything goes wrong and you don't know how to handle anything that is thrown your way any longer. To me, there is some major trouble in my paradise. Could use some help? But who is there that I can actually trust?

28 May 2013, 11:54 AM
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BIRTHDAY! TAKE ME BACK!

I took this photo, when I went out for dinner with my friends, actual friends minus, well 1. It was such a good night! miss it. I wish I could go back.

28 May 2013, 11:46 AM
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I miss dancing. It was a time where I could escape reality and be someone else even if only for a few minuets.

28 May 2013, 11:28 AM
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one day, I am going to go here. I will visit the city of love..

28 May 2013, 11:05 AM
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"LIVING THE DREAM"

Most people would say that I'm living the teenage dream, or to them that is at least how it seems. I mean I do well at school, I have 2 jobs, I play netball, I have a boyfriend, I have a 'supportive' family. Yea, well to them that's what it may seem like but that's not anywhere close to the truth! Yea, I do all of the things I like but that all comes at a cost, I don't spend time with friends, I have no money for practically anything I need because I pay for everything and anything, with no s...

28 May 2013, 11:01 AM
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could say, i miss the old me.

you could say that I miss the old me! when half of the stuff that matters now, never use to matter at all. yea I know that I will always get judged because im not what society pictures as well pretty or skinny but I use to be okay with that, until I went into high school. that's when everything started to well go down hill in all honesty. it sucks. a lot. I hate high school. this was the one day, this photo, where I was actually happy. because I was able to go back to the place I grew up, re ...

28 May 2013, 10:23 AM
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