Journal_pane_9560281410759019

fresh start and a new sheet

Remember back in algebra when you did a math problem and half way through you realized you completely did it wrong, so you had to start over on a new sheet of paper? How is this not a thing in life? I realize just a little too late who I love. I realized too late that what I want in life isn't what I have now. I realized that my friends aren't who I want to be around. I see life in a new way. I want to be in a new place in life. How do I get that fresh start? How do I get a clean piece of pap...

15 September 2014, 06:30 AM
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Dreaming of a tomorrow, today

You dream of getting your drivers license. Then you dream about going to college. Then you dream of being twenty-one. The you dream of marriage and kids and having a real job. When do the dreams deal with the now? When do will we live in the moment and not dream our lives away......

15 September 2014, 03:35 AM
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apart

when I was young I spent every waking second with my sister and my cousins. We were inseparable, we did everything together and loved all the same things. Now hanging out with them is almost a chore because of all of the differences. I went away for college, they stayed home. I joined a sorority, they learned to hunt and drive four wheelers. I talk with them and the conversation is so dry my skin cracks, and the only time we can talk about something bearable is when we talk about the past. Wh...

14 September 2014, 02:39 AM
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Journal_pane_9560281410501727

the box

i have this box at home, it was given to me as a first birthday gift. It has my initials engraved on it, and inside of it are memories of my childhood, drawings cards old stuffed animals, your basic childhood stuff. But at the bottom in the corner of the box is an even smaller box that has a complicated lock with multiple keys needed to unlock it. Inside that box is the one thing I hold most dear to me, my heart. I put it there so I can never be broken... I have never found anyone who could u...

12 September 2014, 07:02 AM
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rememberance

9-11 is always a day of observance. This day holds a special place in the hearts of all Americans. The way people show their respect each year is never tacky, there is never a show or parade but beautiful messages to unite a country that is so diverse. It is amazing how together a country feels on one day and how big of an impact one day had. Thirteen years ago this was the first night that some people had to go to bed with a missing spot next to them.

12 September 2014, 06:24 AM
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1 love: blaqkn8
1 comment: blaqkn8
Journal_pane_9560281410462897

it's hard going to school that "prepares you for college". The teachers live and breathe getting everyone that acceptance letters from the college of students dreams. There is limited learning that isn't geared toward a higher level education. The amount of AP courses outnumber the art classes. The number of academic clubs students are pushed to be a part of weigh down a students free time. The homework, college applications and test scores overcrowd a students mind that even thinking about m...

11 September 2014, 08:15 PM
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Journal_pane_9560281410443847

I may be too white but im not invisible

growing up I was always taught to fit in and be part of society. While it may not have said directly that I need to fit in, that was he main focus on my childhood. I played sports, was more than average at school and involved in so many volunteer groups, I lost count by fourth grade. If you were to Google a white girl, my picture should pop up (okay not really but I would like it to). Now being away from home and becoming independent I would like nothing better than being as colorful and as f...

11 September 2014, 02:57 PM
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across the shores

distance is hard. Even if its a platonic relationship, keeping up with those you love is hard. Time changes, schedules and life choices puts a strain on relationships and the ability to stay close to someone I wish this wasn't true because my love for my friends and family is so strong but the amount of love I can give you is never ending but the amount you receive is limited

09 September 2014, 06:04 PM
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1 love: urwaxx
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Journal_pane_9560281410280402

that spot between dreaming and reality, that almost consciousnesses that is were I am most happy and at peace with who I am

09 September 2014, 05:33 PM
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the cold never bothered me anyway

you know that feeling you have... the feeling of not wanting to let go? that's me right now. I'm not letting go of this summer. I won't. It was too perfect, I realized my life this summer, but I had to come back to my fake one. I was finally able to get rid of everything and be free, but I had to come back to reality and now I am holding onto the thin threads that tie me to the past. I am holding on for dear life, but because I'm not letting go I also can not go any further. I am stuck in the...

07 September 2014, 06:34 AM
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how white is too white

I am your basic white girl. There is a negative and stereotypical connotation to the statement, but in reality I am “the most basic”. I grew up in a privileged house-hold, I went to a private Catholic middle school and high school and “daddy” has paid for all my things. The way I have interacted with others has greatly been affected by the white girl-ness in me. I have never been in a heavily diverse setting where I was not part of the majority, no matter how many soup kitchens, service days,...

04 September 2014, 02:48 PM
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Journal_pane_9560281409632584

i lovely you

I have never felt this way before... I have never wanted to know more about a person than now. I want to know everything they are doing every moment i don't dread talking on the phone with her. There isn't anything that I wouldn't tell her. She is the one person I feel the most comfortable with. The only problem is that she already as a girlfriend. And her girlfriend is one of my best friends... How do I deal with that...

02 September 2014, 05:36 AM
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Journal_pane_9560281409232618

#reasonstolive

Don't just live for the good reasons, the reasons that are easy. Live for the bad, live for the bad to prove to the world that you are strong, courageous and never faltering. Living for the good is fine but it is a test of true character of you live for the tough, trying times that change who you are

28 August 2014, 02:30 PM
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Raise your voice, or at least I'm going to raise mine

Why is life complicating...whats going on in that pretty head of yours?? life is complicated with my family. my family is very close to one another and not being a part of it and being involved in everyone's day to day life is just not a thing. basically everything in my life is planned for me and if i don't follow a certain path all hell breaks loose.. me being a teacher is already a stretch for them because it isn't a business career. i also don't want to disappoint my family by doing some...

24 August 2014, 10:27 PM
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Journal_pane_9560281408915307

my colors are hidden

people say that you shouldn't be ashamed if you are not hetero-normative but I cannot do it. I cannot proudly say who I actually like. The world I have been brought up in and the situations I have put myself in have made me close my doors, quiet my heart and dull my colors. I would gladly show who I want to be to the world but I don't think I have the bravery to do so.

24 August 2014, 10:21 PM
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Journal_pane_9560281408914618

one

I spent my summer as a counselor and what I learned in those 8 weeks I was in Maine I cannot replace. In camp orientation I was told how the girls at camp live 10 for 2. Meaning the girls live 10 months out of the year for the 2 they get to spend with their friends at camp. This idea seemed very foreign to me because I could not fathom that the friendships they formed in two months could be that strong. Saying my goodbyes to my girls and the other campers I had become friends with I started t...

24 August 2014, 10:10 PM
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Journal_pane_9560281408153760

Green

I learned more about myself this summer than I could have imagined. There is not a set time in the future where I will definitely see these people in the future and I think my heart is broken because of that. I don't know what I am going to do without them. Those humans have been the truest friends I have had in a really long time. They say the camp girls live 10 for 2 but I might not get another 2. I don't know who I will be able to go to for my life problems now or have people who truly und...

16 August 2014, 02:49 AM
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Journal_pane_9560281408153535

WHITE

Today I had to say a real goodbye. A friendship grew and bloomed in a short two months, and now I don't know when I will see them again. Clare, Danny, Jeanine and Sami have been a beacon of light in my life this summer and have taught me so many things.

16 August 2014, 02:45 AM
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Journal_pane_9560281405730575

Camp is the one true place I have felt free in a long time. Liberating to feel this free.

19 July 2014, 01:43 AM
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For the first time I admitted to some one what my real feelings are. It was liberating and I am really glad I did it but now it's confusing.

10 July 2014, 05:01 AM
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