A.D.D.itional Confliction

Brittany. She is always here in my head even at the most inconvenient times. She has always been in my head and I can't seem to drop her!! EVEN while I am in a relationship with someone else. I do not want to be in a relationship with her, but I could see myself marrying her. What does that even mean?! Tipsy (not drunk) Taryn LOVES Brittany...everything about her...she's perfect. Sober Taryn finds all of her flaws which makes her unattractive. I cannot figure out what the issue is when it co...

Love A.D.D.

Being content in a relationship has been a bit of a challenge ever since I first started dating. I always find something wrong with my partner even if it's as lame as a crooked finger. I am nowhere near a perfect creation to judge ANYONE, but I still do it. I am short and overweight, I have pimples, I have scars, I have a semi-crooked finger, I have fat feet...along with a number of other physical attributes that I wouldn't like on someone else. Now that I am typing this out...it just goes to...

I dreamt last night that I was about to get married. I didn’t have a dress, I didn’t even WANT to get married and it just made no sense. When I got to the church to get ready for my wedding, which I was already running late to, I stopped in my tracks and said, “I’m not doing this. I don’t want to get married. I never wanted to get married.” Then I walked out. Somehow my entire family, including myself, ended up in Las Vegas. I am not even sure why. While standing outside the hotel looking at ...

Incredible Heights

Last night I had quite a few weird dreams and over the past few months, my dreams have just been out of control and I can't stand it! The dream that stands out the most from last night had to do with extremely steep/high bridges that I had to drive over with my car. I believe it was set in Las Vegas with my gf. I know that at one point I was trying to drive back to her at our hotel and the way to get back was over one of the two steep/high bridges. When I got close to the top, my car starte...

Roadrunner lesbian drama

I haven't wrote on this page in quite some time so I have a lot to catch up on. I started working with my step cousin at a moving company. Thus far (roughly 3 months) a lot of crap has been stirred up. A lot of drama. When I first started the only people I really talked to we're my coworker, Morgan, and my cousin, amber. About a week or two after starting and learning the ropes i started covering the front desk when the receptionist, Diana, went on breaks. One day I got really hyper and I wa...

A continuance of my previous entry.

I have a bit more to tell you, diary. ;) I went back to see Jacqui even after she hopped out of bed to talk to Audrey. I got over that pretty quickly. The next time I was over there Jacqui had invited friends over to play beer pong. They were there for all of maybe 2 hours, but things got out of control when one of her friends brought over some high school girls who had taken bars and drank. Stupid, stupid combination. Needless to say one of them ended up hurling in Jacqui's restroom and b...

A Case of Love Bipolar

I like more than one person. This is very annoying, because this means that if I were to date any of these people I would have someone else on my mind. Therefor I am not going to date any of them. At Pride in Houston I ran into Jacqui and she was there with her sisters. Now Jacqui isn't bad looking. She's actually very, very pretty. The only thing is her ex was living with her still so they were pretty much together even though she swore and still swears that they aren't and haven't been a c...

Reminiscing on the good times...

I have come to the conclusion that I talk a walk in my past quite often. Doing so makes me miss the people that I have dated, but not only just as friends. I feel like the feelings I had for them then rise to the surface again. I don't understand it, I don't want it, but I can't control it. Actually I am sure I CAN control it, but going back to something familiar is...well familiar. I don't know if many other people do this, because it kind of seems like I am the only one who does it. OR it c...

Player!!

Today I finally came to the realization that I'm a player. I don't mean that I cheat, because I don't, but a player as in someone who plays games, someone who fucks with people's heads for no apparent reason. I have done this to a number of people. This all started after I dated Desiree. After we broke up I dated people to try and get her attention to make her realize that she should be with ME and not with anyone else. This is the root of what the fuck is wrong with me. This is how it went ...

DREAM!!!

I dropped Kaleb off with is dad last night then took the both of them over to Steven's girlfriend's house. After that I came home and fell asleep. I just woke up about 10 minutes ago and I was having a crazy dream!! The people that I can remember from the dream were my friend, Amiee, Brittiany (a girl that drug me along for a long time), Brandi (a girl that I made fall for me, ) and I THINK the girl I am talking to now, Brittany. What I can remember is being at Brittiany's apartment. Eve...

RIVER BDAY PARTY!!!

My birthday party at the river turned out to be really, really fun for me. Amiee and Gerrod brought a drunk watermelon, which is a watermelon with vodka in it...it soaks up the vodka overnight. That was cool. Brandi and Desiree brought some JELLO SHOTS!! Desiree and I stayed up until about 3 or 4 AM talking about EVERYTHING!! I quite enjoyed this. I don't get to converse with people like that too much. "/ Amiee got sick and Gerrod got mad at her for that. GAY!! Kennith and Rachel...well th...

My day of birth!!

I actually had a pretty shitty birthday. I know it could have been worse, but it was probably one of my most failed birthdays thus far. A few days before my birthday arrived Brittany asked me if there was anything that I wanted. I didn't have anything in mind so I told her that I just wanted to hang out with her. She told me she could make it happen. Well yesterday (my birthday) here is what happened... ME: What exactly are we doing after we get off?? Because I won't have signal at work.....

I feel like every time I get on here to write, it turns into a LOOOONG entry. lol. Let's start with the fact that Brandi and I started dating on, I think, May 19th. I had started liking her again and THOUGHT that I wanted to be with her. Well a few days after I started losing interest again, after I had promised her that I wouldn't hurt her. I should have known better than to promise someone something that I really have no control over. On the Sunday after her and I started dating I found ou...

An empty plate with a hungry tummy!!

Is there any possible way that I can just delete certain people out of my life so I can start the friendship or relationship from scratch, please?! I get myself into complicated situations and it's taking a toll on me. I honestly want to STOP hurting people by leading them on. I don't even intentionally do it. At first I have these strong feelings towards a person and then one day I'll either notice something about them that I don't like or I'll just get bored. Am I doing this subconsciously?...

I wrote this to Leslie today...it kinda sounds like a diary entry. lmfao.

Now here is my explanation. I want you to look at the BIG PICTURE and not pick out the things that you like/want to hear. Yes. I am attracted to you. After we ate at Cheddar's that day I was in shock at how amazingly gorgeous you were. I needed to tell someone so I went to my job (cindie's) and talked to my coworker. I sounded fucking crazy and stupid, because I had no intention to really FEEL anything when I saw you that day, but I did. You were awesome with Kaleb and I loved seeing that. (B...

Walking in the shallow waters, eh?

I have been thinking about how if I was to get into a relationship with a DUDE that I probably wouldn't enjoy it. Sex with guys is just in no way pleasurable to me. On a completely different note now, (lol) I have had sex with a girl and I quite enjoyed myself way more than I ever have with a guy. I know that I am attracted to girls, because I have been for the longest time and I have dated quite a few. Here recently though, I've been thinking about the type of girls that I'm into. I came to...

Would you like a Brandi with that?

Alright. Brittany, Jacqui, my manager, and Desiree are all out of the picture now. Brittany wanted to take things slow and I was all for it until the 2 month mark came around and we STILL hadn't gotten our alone time. I went to Whispers, a bar a friend of mine goes to, to have have a few drinks and to hang out with a friend. While I was there quite enjoying myself, I got a call from my friend, Katie, who wanted me to go to her house. I told her that I would go over there after I left the ba...

The Female Dilema

Here is the beginning of a dreadfully long story. :) Ok. It's not dreadful to me, but may be to you. I personally couldn't care less!! Part ONE (stetson's crush): When I lived with my friend, Katie her and I would go out with a few friends to a country club called, Stetson's. We would go every Thursday, which was college night, so there would be a lot of people there our age. Every time we would go I would always notice this one particular girl that I was super attracted to for some reason....

There are a lot of different thoughts that have gone through my head in the last hour or so. Ashley OKC My Aunt Debbie's nosy ass Steven cheating Living to the fullest Wanting to move, but need a sitter Let's start with My Aunt Debbie. Facebook. I love it. Now the people that are on there...I love them too, but I sometimes dislike them very much. For a while I wasn't adding family on FB simply, because it's none of their business what I do with my life...or where I go. Just whatever. I fin...

cheaters!!

I'm now a mother to a wonderful baby boy, Kaleb. He was born August 1st. :) I don't and never will regret my son. EVER!!! I absolutely adore him. Steven and I are still together, but we're hanging on only by a thread...at least in my eyes. Over the past year it just seems that we've discovered we're two completely different people. When I met him I knew that though, but I believed in the whole "opposites attract" shpiel. They do to an extent, but for a long-term relationship, I'm going with...