Journal_pane_9993291401231799

Want to send/ Sent

Want to send: I am happy that you are better. But I couldn't care less about you being sorry. I really can't right now. It will be okay in the morning. It's probably because I am tired. Right. Let's blame everything on me being tired. I can't stop the tears right now. I had to go outside cause I couldn't breathe. I am going for the walk. I have no idea why I am telling you this. Like seriously, no idea. Anyways. I am happy you are better. Well actually, no, I wish you could feel like I do. F...

28 May 2014, 12:03 AM
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Journal_pane_9993291401143467

Connected

I feel so much better. I no longer desire love, I tempt it. I lost the feeling, well, I tossed it away. It's somewhere deep in my heart and I can't reach it anymore, maybe someone will be able to one day. We still keep in touch. We still talk. We still do the stuff that others may find disturbing. It's how our friendship works. Am I using him, or is he using me? Or are we using each other in the same time? Interesting, don't you think? How two people can influence one another. But all I wan...

26 May 2014, 11:31 PM
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Journal_pane_9993291400877654

What about me?

That's all. I let go. I let go of the feeling of being in love with B. It's hurtful. All he does hurts me, but it works as an addiction. I can't not ask for more. It's my fault. If only I could not care. But I won't. My mind is happy, cause I let go of him as a love interest. I still love him and I won't stop loving him, but it's My Time. My dreams matter. I matter. My feelings, they are there. Though my heart screams in pain, I know I have to do it this way. Let's just close it. Let's forget...

23 May 2014, 09:41 PM
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Journal_pane_9993291400837894

Everytime

So, B said he won't even say he is sorry, cause he does that everytime. I told him he should just forget me and move on. "No. Don't say shit like that". Shit? Can't you see it's breaking? My heart is breaking, this is breaking. Now, are you gonna fix that or will you let it end? I can't be the one always putting a plaster on things. Sometimes others have to show they care as well. "Shit like that". Can't you see it would be better if you moved on? Just imagine, the world without me. Perfecti...

23 May 2014, 10:38 AM
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Journal_pane_9993291400797580

Simple Choice

Yes.

22 May 2014, 11:26 PM
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Journal_pane_9993291400797507

Atelophobia

People ask me why do I feel I am not good enough. Well, why should I feel I am good enough? Why should I feel special? Why should I feel like I am the one? I am not the one. And it hurts. It hurts so much. But at least I know you will find this person who is gonna be your Only One. Don't waste your time on me. We both know I am not worth it. Your happiness is my happiness. But does it have to ache so much? Huggie, E.

22 May 2014, 11:25 PM
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Journal_pane_9993291400794563

Goodnight tradition

"I want to tell you 'I love you' everytime before saying goodbye", that's what I said. Well, technically, wrote. And I did keep my word. B, does it make you feel powerful? Hurting me, that is? Does it make you smile, thinking everyday, that there is someone, who, no matter what you do, will stand beside you, always be there for you? I know I told you that you can hurt me. I know I did. But I want to know the reason. Simple "bye" would do. I don't expect you to write me long poems, just a sim...

22 May 2014, 10:36 PM
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Journal_pane_9993291400793323

H&H

Head speaking. I am done with the Heart. She is following all those hunches, as if she did not see it will all bring her pain. I want to protect her from it, but she won't let me. But first let me tell you how things look like from my perspective. Heart feels something for B, something more than friendship. All you need to know about B is that he lives far away from us, he is younger, selfish and cold. That's how I see things. Following, the Heart keeps on giving him things. I started to not...

22 May 2014, 10:15 PM
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Journal_pane_9993291400792337

Prologue

Hello. As I said, call me Elisa. Basic information that you need to know before you try to understand my emotions and actions are as they follow: #1 I'm currently 19. My birthday is, hmm, let it be December 12th. #2 I love turtles. #3 I am insecure #4 I don't understand myself, but I am quite good at understanding others. #5 I have an atelophobia, philophobia and athazagoraphobia. #6 I do believe that people I know would be better off without me. #7 I overthink. #8 When I love someone, I ne...

22 May 2014, 09:59 PM
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