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I don't know what this school year will become anymore.. I had so much hope for it. I had hope for myself. I had hope that I'd move past the issues of last year, It's times like these, though, that I feel as if I'll slip into everyday sadness again. It's Friday. I didn't see anyone. All I did was sit home and binge. I've gained three pounds in two days. I dissapointed myself for the hundredth time. First quarter of school is officially half over- interems are coming out. I'm already strugglin...

04 October 2014, 12:37 AM
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Scared.

Have you ever sat in the corner of your room crying because you have large reason to believe best friend will commit suicide?

23 September 2014, 02:09 AM
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Really?

So, I have this thing. Where my ex boyfriend and I... are kinda... friends with benefits ? But we only make out (I'm well aware that this is frowned upon by many people). I've only ever done this with him, though. We're like really, really, close friends, but also find eachother attractive, but know a relationship wouldn't work out again. It dosen't happen often that we just get to make out.. we actually haven't done that since the summer (and that wasn't even many times). There you go, backg...

19 September 2014, 07:57 PM
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1 comment: thelifeofmine

Italy.

In two days, I will be on a nine hour flight to the other side of the world. It's strange to think about. My world is so small. I haven't even heard of some of the cities in my state. I find that an hour drive can bring you to somewhere completely different. I almost don't know anyone in my own neighborhood. My room is where I spend 60% of my life. What am I missing? I sure as hell know it's a lot. I've never been that far in my life, and my feet have never touched the ground of Europe. There...

15 August 2014, 02:11 AM
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2 comments: vcnurr,thelifeofmine

My stepmother.

Rant about to begin. I'm trying to collect my thoughts into an organized and somehow sequential manner, but most likely be a form of word vomit. I hate how much PDA she shows. She literally clings onto my dad all the damn time and kissed him obnoxiously at random moments like legit more than 15 times everyday. We'll just be walking around and she'll stop on the street and make me wait while she makes me super uncomfortable. She is the nosiest person ever. Who have you talked to today? About w...

01 August 2014, 03:51 AM
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1 comment: incognito_cheeto_bandito

Summer 2014.

My diary has been full of sadness (yes, I've noticed). Then again, I wrote an entry about bacon pancakes. Anyways, I always find myself more motivated to take photographs or write about how I feel when I'm in a state other than happiness. I consider those emotions more powerful then happiness. But for the sake of myself looking back at my diary in the future and reminiscing in the events were occurring in my life at this point in time, I must document the good moments. This summer has actuall...

11 July 2014, 11:50 AM
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Run Away.

My best guy friend ran away a couple weeks ago. I recieved a call at around eleven at night. He told me he had been kicked out of the house. Worried, I got up and we talked things out. He ended up staying somewhere else for the night, but we texted for a while. He wasn't suppose to have a phone, so his parents didn't know. He told me specifically- don't tell my parents where I am if they ask. He begged me. I'd do anything for him, so I agreed. I thought to myself, 'they kicked HIM out.. they ...

10 July 2014, 02:48 PM
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1 love: incognito_cheeto_bandito
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But I am alone.

Do you ever feel like you have no friends? No genuine friends aside from acquaintances that you create small talk with or share short stories, or exchange kind gestures? Maybe several people feel that way once in a while. I feel that way a lot. I feel that way just about all the time. I feel that way because it's true. I've come to realize I really don't have a best friend. I am always a second or third choice. I am not as important to anyone as they are to me. I am even called a best friend ...

14 June 2014, 04:05 AM
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2 comments: seibelkim,thelifeofmine

Thirteen Days Left.

13 days left of school left. I need to end. I got this weird shit put in the yearbook about me and everyone's talking about me now. Everyone who dosent know me is saying I'm a freak and that I'm weird. I know I am. It's only okay when I say it though. I care too much. You'll always hear, 'Don't care about what people think' or 'Don't listen to them'. I don't even know how to do that. It's so hard for me to not acknowledge it. When can I not give a shit? I wish I didn't let it affect me, but I...

02 June 2014, 02:57 AM
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Strangers.

At one point in my life I could say that I love meeting new people. Time passes, though, and I am now hesitant to speak those words again. I've seen what people say behind your back and I'm aware of the intentions of people. One one hand, it's amazing when you are gradually taking in more information about someone you have just met. Knowing that you could potentially become someone's friend is a feeling like no other. You realize that they trust you enough to share their memories, thoughts an...

06 May 2014, 01:54 AM
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1 love: blaqkn8
3 comments: blaqkn8,ThatsJustMe,thelifeofmine

Netflix.

Such a commonly used word of 2014. We've had a Netflix membership for over seven years now, though, so it's okay for me to talk about it. I literally remember it only being a website at the time, selecting what movies to put in our que, and having the company send the movies in the mail so we could watch them. Their little white envelopes... It was adorable. Yes, I'm justifying it. I wonder what everyone likes to watch. I keep up with American Horror Story, Orange is the New Black, New Girl a...

27 April 2014, 04:53 AM
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Wasting Time.

Every year of school prepares us for the next. All of the years spent in elementary school lead us into middle school and then onto high school.. college.. and finally we've ended the preparation process to begin our careers. We spend roughly seventeen years in school (if you continue on to do complete four years of college). It's all for what we want to do later on in life. I want to do countless things. I feel that in order to actually become succsessful I need to be ahead of the rest. I wa...

23 April 2014, 01:42 AM
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1 love: runitsafangirl
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Comparisons.

It's so difficult for me to stay away from negative comparisons. Comparisons aren't always harmful to oneself, but it really depends on the person. Many people, when comparing and contrasting themself to a different individual, better themself and only improve. We see this a lot in sports. Yet, I don't seem to do that. When this act of comparing occurs, it just pulls my flaws closer to my face and in direct sunlight. Meaning, they're purely visible. It's an uncomfortable situation when you ha...

16 April 2014, 04:39 AM
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4 loves: shy_beautifulgirl,coldchocolate,runitsafangirl , ...
1 comment: coldchocolate

Bacon.

I love bacon. I was on Instagram and saw a picture with BACON PANCAKES. Like, hey, that's pretty rad. It's literally one o'clock in the morning right now and I would eat bacon pancakes if I could. I wish my friends would turn into pancakes.

13 April 2014, 05:34 AM
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2 loves: jlwilson101,samanthayo87
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Keep an Open Mind.

I wish society were more accepting of body modifications. This can be as simple as a generic nose piercing. The fact that someone may lose the opportunity of a job to another person with the same amount of experience as them simply because they have tattoos is personally saddening. You're not good enough because of the markings on your skin? Why does an eyebrow piercing make you less qualified for a job? Why does it make you less qualified as an individual? In some cases, it's understandable....

08 April 2014, 03:11 AM
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1 love: runitsafangirl
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Is This Real Life?

*Warning. Bad influence. Don't read if easily persuaded and or affected* My friend had purchased weed the other day. He came over to my house before school to get a ride from my sister and I. It was 6:25 am and he wanted to do it. So we tried. We walked away from my house to a patch of trees that took about 3 minutes to get to when walking. I took two hits. Nothing happened- I was unaffected. He was buzzed, but I don't know why I felt completely normal. He had done it several times before, b...

04 April 2014, 07:39 AM
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Stay Positive.

Except when it comes to pregnancy tests. Always open on a joke. But in seriousness, I turned in my art sketchbook to my teacher for a late grade and she have me a 95%. IT WAS LATE. I was beyond surprised. Pleasantly surprised. I swear she had given up on me. She had basically been saying my art isn't good enough anymore for months now. But today.. was a spark. It was a beautiful spark that could maybe become something more. She wrote a very nice note to go with that grade, and I just have tha...

01 April 2014, 07:45 PM
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1 love: ThatsJustMe
1 comment: ThatsJustMe

I Knew It.

"We accept the love we think we deserve". Why does my friend think he deserves that? I'm kind of friends with his girlfriend. She's alright. She's a fine friend, but an awful girlfriend. I care about him so much. Like, more than he will ever know. He's such a good person. He deserves someone better. His girlfriend literally told us that she's a comitment-phobe. It makes me so upset. She broke up with him once already, it affected him so easily and so severely. And she almost broke up with him...

31 March 2014, 11:43 PM
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1 love: jlwilson101
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A Month Later.

It's very weird knowing that I last wrote a month ago. I don't fully remember what's happened lately, but I can try to summarize. My grades are shit. I'm trying not to curse, which is ironic because I could go back and erase what I had just said, but I'm not going to. Daylight savings just started yesterday, so I'm pretty mad. Also, so I hung out with my guy best friend and my ex-boyfriend yesterday (Sunday). Hanging out with my guy friend was normal obviously, but I has just started talking ...

10 March 2014, 08:23 PM
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1 love: ThatsJustMe
4 comments: ThatsJustMe,thelifeofmine , ...

Thinspo.

I think I've been looking at thinspiration on Instagram for an hour now.

03 February 2014, 01:19 AM
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