Journal_pane_9696901391507310

Suicide tempts me like money lying on the cold concrete pavement.

04 February 2014, 09:48 AM
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Journal_pane_9696901391506901

i'm too young to loose my soul. i'm too young to feel this old

04 February 2014, 09:41 AM
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Journal_pane_9696901389101155

I'm a monster.

under the beauty and smiles is a monster. A monster that is trying to get out of your body, it can't control your innocence so it tries to take over completely. People around watch and don't understand as the smiles turn to tears, the dreams turn to fears and your mood will change violently then you'll be OK again. The war you're fighting is one that's never going to be won, the bloody battle has only just begun to unfold and turn into a reality right in-front of your eyes. That smile, your...

07 January 2014, 01:26 PM
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Journal_pane_9696901389100683

Hearts and Knives

My fragile heart was in your strong hands. You raised it to the sky and saw all of it's beautiful, wonderful indescribable potential and became afraid. You couldn't handle someone being stronger then you, inside or out. I was now an extreme threat, a potential enemy and I had to be destroyed. You threw my heart onto the floor, nothing broke, nothing tore. You tried to burn my heart in a fire. My heart didn't melt. It didn't change but the wire you trapped my love in melted under the heat. The...

07 January 2014, 01:18 PM
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Journal_pane_9696901389100131

Flame.

I need to see the blood, I need to feel the pain. My bodies waiting in anticipation for me to start the invigorating game. I want to feel real again, my bodies covered in flames. They caress me with their burning tongues and drown the angry little girl inside of me. She's afraid and screaming loudly. She wants to get out but no matter how much she kicks or screams or shouts there is a cage that has taken over my body and she's never going to get out. Its shut me off from feeling anything but ...

07 January 2014, 01:09 PM
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Journal_pane_9696901389099675

Curls

My problems are like the curls in my hair. There are so many of them and no matter how many times I try to straighten them out, they always seem to curl again. Almost as if my curls are pages of an old book. Used and destroyed, All the pages are curling. I try to straighten them, I try everything. But nothing helps as the pages will forever been curling up because they weren't taken care of. I could get someone else to keep them straight but that wouldn't help either. It's a little too late f...

07 January 2014, 01:01 PM
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Journal_pane_9696901389099413

My Childhood.

My childhood days were picture perfect. I wish I could be that little girl playing in the mud again singing my favorite song, singing it to strangers and smiling as they sang along. Waking up early to mommy's hugs and kisses. I really do miss it. I miss the hours spent in my fairy tale garden planting flowers and making a veggie garden with my mommy. I miss the simplest things like how my mom and dad would tuck me in before I went to bed and when horrible science magazines were the coolest t...

07 January 2014, 12:57 PM
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Journal_pane_9696901389098580

There is an anger burning though my veins and deep into my core. Fueled by your hate, you're pouring gasoline onto the open flame I once called my heart. Something that used to be so beautiful, now burnt away and dead. There used to be butterflies flying around me but you killed them all with your stare. Stopped the creativity, happiness and carelessness inside of me and turned me bitter. I spit out words of such hate that they hit people with such force that they leave scars that don't heal....

07 January 2014, 12:43 PM
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Journal_pane_9696901389098051

you might think i'm crazy. that i'm lost and foolish for leaving you behind. maybe you're right.

07 January 2014, 12:34 PM
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Journal_pane_9696901388573807

I'm a satellite lost in the dark

Im just floating around aimlessly in life. Ghosting through passageways and faking smiles so my parents don't ship me off to therapy again or question if I've been cutting. I am not attached to anyone or anything and I have forgotten what love feels like. If everyone around me died in a car crash and burnt in-front of me i would not shed a tear because I know there is nothing I can do about what had happen. Just like how I have not cried a tear for leaving South Africa. I miss no one. Friends...

01 January 2014, 10:56 AM
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1 love: bittersweet_symphony
1 comment: bittersweet_symphony
Journal_pane_9696901388572469

My head is a jungle.

01 January 2014, 10:34 AM
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1 love: blaqkn8
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Journal_pane_9696901388572263

Second Option, ALWAYS.

I'm always the second option. Because: Im fat Im taller then everyone Im loud Im impulsive Im not as pretty as my friends are Im not my sister. My sister is younger then me by 2 years but guys drop at her knees, Shes blonde with green eyes and freckles whilst I have blonde hair and grey eyes. we are so different and it kills me that guys that flirt with me ignore me the second they see my sister. I've just moved countries and our neighbor is gorgeous and I thought he really liked me until h...

01 January 2014, 10:31 AM
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Journal_pane_9696901388572072

Immigration

A new country, New people, New friends to make and a clean start. I go from being excruciatingly excited to suicidal about it daily. I've left behind everyone and everything I have ever known and I am so lonely. I've made friends but some of the people I've met don't like me. I'm a very impulsive and outgoing person and I get so hurt when people don't accept and like me the second they meet me. In my old country there was a group of boys who would never speak or look at me when we were at pa...

01 January 2014, 10:28 AM
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1 love: bittersweet_symphony
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Journal_pane_9696901388570817

Under my skin

I feel as if there is a hurricane of emotions under my skin, itching and trying to tear their way out. These emotions, although captive under the skin of my wrists scream louder than anything I’ve ever experienced before. Along with the unbearable pain, comes utter and complete confusion as I’m ripped between what my soul wants and what my heart says is right and wrong. My soul wants release and to pull off each little scar and let the emotions seep from my body onto the concrete floor whilst...

01 January 2014, 10:07 AM
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1 love: blaqkn8
1 comment: blaqkn8
Journal_pane_9696901388570606

Violet, my dear.

Violet was carefree, reckless, messy, insane and a free spirit but of all these things she was alone. She was the only flower in the field with broken petals, Beautiful and fragile but shattered at the same time. She was the flower with torn petals in a field of perfection. She was the drift wood fire burning bright blue whilst every other fire burnt a warm amber hue . She was the mystery nobody could solve, Impossible to understand, Impossible to duplicate. She was unique, and as she wal...

01 January 2014, 10:03 AM
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1 love: bittersweet_symphony
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Journal_pane_9696901388570254

Suicide

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's those who are left behind, who pick up pain & are left hurting. You may think that you will be helping yourself get rid of all the pain and struggles in your life but by ending your life you could begin a continuous painful chain of events for the people around you and those who do love you. You are loved. Your mother, Your father , Your family ,These are the people that raised you from a child. Imagine how heart-breaking it will b...

01 January 2014, 09:57 AM
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1 love: jasmeenk02
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Journal_pane_9696901388570226

Scarlett

This is the story of a girl whose name was Scarlett ,She had long blonde hair and an attitude that she didn't care. Her light blue eyes were an ocean, impenetrable to any of society’s cruel and harsh lies but open and absorbing to of all the beauty of simplicity and nature. Her ocean blue eyes had seen so much. The more she saw the less she thought she had known and her light blue eyes had become so icy cold. There was a hurricane of emotions, constantly swirling through her mind. She had a t...

01 January 2014, 09:57 AM
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