Journal_pane_8709641468592207

Logan

I miss my son. I think of him all of the time. Today, for no reason at all the memory of his sweet face came to mind. I wished I would have gotten to know you. I wished you could have stayed. My heart aches and is still breaking. But you will always be my world. Know that Mommy loves you.

15 July 2016, 03:16 PM
l
2 loves: mmmanish1327,Bilubilu
comment
Journal_pane_8709641468592203

Logan

I miss my son. I think of him all of the time. Today, for no reason at all the memory of his sweet face came to mind. I wished I would have gotten to know you. I wished you could have stayed. My heart aches and is still breaking. But you will always be my world. Know that Mommy loves you.

15 July 2016, 03:16 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_8709641468592197

Logan

I miss my son. I think of him all of the time. Today, for no reason at all the memory of his sweet face came to mind. I wished I would have gotten to know you. I wished you could have stayed. My heart aches and is still breaking. But you will always be my world. Know that Mommy loves you.

15 July 2016, 03:16 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_8709641468592194

Logan

I miss my son. I think of him all of the time. Today, for no reason at all the memory of his sweet face came to mind. I wished I would have gotten to know you. I wished you could have stayed. My heart aches and is still breaking. But you will always be my world. Know that Mommy loves you.

15 July 2016, 03:16 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_8709641412532264

To remind me not to

take out my hurt on others.

05 October 2014, 07:04 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_8709641412532220

cont...

I just hope that things turn around soon before I become more dark. If you were to know me, personally on the street, you would think I was friendly. I am. You would think I am kind. I am. You wouldn't put together that I was feeling this way. This is why I fill this page with my thoughts. Maybe by chance someone has gone through this, or is going through this, or will go through this will see it. If my pain can help another avoid or overcome it, my life is an open book. Fingers crossed that ...

05 October 2014, 07:03 PM
l
2 loves: pmckee94,soulshemxd
comment
Journal_pane_8709641412531995

cont.

So with the job thing, the bill thing, and the helplessness one feels during such times, I just was not in the mood to celebrate. Last night I prayed. I told the supreme being above that I have learned to be patient, kind, and a productive member of the human race. I have learned to help others in need, whether they know that they need it or not. I have learned to be a better friend, lover, child, sibling, and human being. What more can I learn from being destitute? I know humility, I know ch...

05 October 2014, 07:00 PM
l
2 loves: lostbonds_,Bilubilu
comment
Journal_pane_8709641412531544

Yesterday I turned 38

It's a number, don't feel 38. Isn't important. Wanted to be alone and left alone. My husband did what every caring spouse would do, he tried to cheer me up and get me around people. I love and appreciate the sentiment, but I need to go through this myself. I will yield to his support when needed, but because he is not the cause of the hurt, he can not assist. Wish there was a way of communicating it to him.

05 October 2014, 06:52 PM
l
1 love: esohysteria
6 comments: corinasteinborn , ...
Journal_pane_8709641412531332

continued...

Why bring up this life event? Well it's how I feel right now. Drowning opened up fear, disparity, and helplessness. I've been without work for almost 3 weeks. I did get approved for unemployment, but I want a hand up not a hand out. Bills are piling again. And I feel myself withdrawing from friends and family.

05 October 2014, 06:49 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_8709641412530880

Drowning

When I was 8 I was pushed my my cousin into the deep end of the pool. I didn't know how to swim. The life guards pulled me out and I almost drowned. I remember the burning sensation of breathing in the water. I felt it fill my lungs. I remember the primal urgency of panic that set in when trying to move my arms to keep up above water.

05 October 2014, 06:41 PM
l
1 love: Bilubilu
comment
Journal_pane_8709641412530731

Race season is over!

It's been exhausting this season. With babysitting, running errands, long nights, and added stress upon my already fragile mind. I am glad that it's done. Sorry honey. Not doing it next year.

05 October 2014, 06:39 PM
l
1 love: Bilubilu
comment

It's been awhile

sorry that it's been awhile since my last entry. I switched jobs which takes away from my time here. I am currently laid off, for how long I don't know. At least my house will be spotless lol.

02 September 2014, 05:41 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_8709641397490246

Waiting for my ship to come in..

I believe in fate and that God helps he/she who helps him/her self. I have put positive energy into the world and have done things selflessly. I can't help but to think that my ship will never come in. I have addressed and confronted my problems head on, but nevertheless when I think I'm clear I get dragged back into the hole of obscurity. Here's to wishing that good times will again knock at my door.

14 April 2014, 04:44 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_8709641395421567

8709641395421567.jpeg

21 March 2014, 05:06 PM
l
2 loves: emilymo541,Bilubilu
comment
Journal_pane_8709641395421298

8709641395421298.jpeg

21 March 2014, 05:01 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_8709641395421172

8709641395421172.jpeg

21 March 2014, 04:59 PM
l
1 love: esohysteria
comment
Journal_pane_8709641395421020

8709641395421020.jpeg

21 March 2014, 04:57 PM
l
love
comment
Journal_pane_8709641395420873

8709641395420873.jpeg

21 March 2014, 04:54 PM
l
1 love: Bilubilu
comment
Journal_pane_8709641395420832

8709641395420832.jpeg

21 March 2014, 04:54 PM
l
1 love: Bilubilu
comment
Journal_pane_8709641395420783

8709641395420783.jpeg

21 March 2014, 04:53 PM
l
love
comment