I would love to have something like this in my back yard a place where I could be myself and have peace.
Hope you all had a Happy Easter. Mine was alright. I got to spend time with some of the people I love. I feel jaded, like nothing will ever turn out right. I will never be like I was. It's hard to go back. Some things I don't want to go back to, however some I would give my left or right arm for.
What do you see in this image? Do you see a scared girl huddled in the corner? I see a girl who wants to be alone and has built barriers to keep the outside world at bay. Wouldn't it be neat if we could conjure such barriers and they worked?
As warmer weather approaches, I start to think warm thoughts. My mind wanders to blue skies, green fields, and balmy nights with the smell of honeysuckle hanging in the breeze. Although, Those thoughts speak to me as being warm; I can't help but to feel a little colder. The human mind works in mysterious ways. I often find myself thinking of darker thoughts. On March 15th my little sister will be getting married. She lives in a different state than I do. It breaks my heart that I can't see my...
Waiting for Green
Green is the first sign of spring. I would be happy when there is no snow. I am sick of it now. Tired of being cold and spending almost 400 every month on oil. It's expensive. Green is also a sign of money and prosperity. I can wait for that too. There's always some type of expense that pops up like a nightmare. Sometimes I wish that I lived here, in this chanty with my wits and dreams to sustain. Things would be much easier if it wasn't so expensive to live. Gas, food, heat, insurance, mortg...
A Sense of Adventure
I always wanted to find an abandoned old castle or house and live it in. Modern houses just don't have the flow of energy that older ones do. I love high ceilings and huge windows. I love arches and balconies. Wouldn't that be awesome.
It's not that I dislike people, I just hate feeling exposed. I am socially awkward. I just like my privacy and seclusion. If it weren't for somethings in my life I'd be a hermit. I like solitude and quiet. Sometimes I wish I lived in Silent Hill minus the monsters and head trips.
People say that bad and good things happen in 3's, however I beg to differ. It seems as though someone is reaming the seams that is holding me together. Bad things are happening to me in droves and waves. Somehow, I haven't fallen apart... yet!
I'm originally from Md. I don't miss it all together, however I miss my sister, nieces, aunt and some of my friends there. I saw this picture of Ellicott City and it brought fond memories to mind.
How I feel
This is how I feel right now. Every time I get over 1 hill, I have 7 more that take it's place. It's really disheartening. I sometimes wonder if anything I do will be worth while. I try to do good and it boomarangs me with bad luck.
Happy New Year
So today is a new day. Chapter 1 of page 365. I hope that this new year brings peace, prosperity, friendship, and happiness.
Ok so this is my first post here. With the year drawing to a close my thoughts like most are turned to bettering myself and those around me. The New Year I pledge to be a better person, better pet mommy, and hopefully to be mindful of my spending. I am not sure how to achieve the latter, but I will do my very best.