I wish he would tell me no, I wish he would force me to talk to him one last time and fix everything I fucked up. I wish he would tell me no, I still love you and you still love me, you do make me happy, there is no reason why we would ever have to be apart! But he doesn't, and I know why. He meant what he said, I don't deserve him, he deserves better. He realizes now he was over me a long long time ago. He realizes now how good freedom feels, how much potential there is without me. I'm st...
As I got older people began to annoy me more. Mostly just people i knew better. I never really understood why. But now I know. It's because I was tired of watching them chasing theirself in circles.
I was the dream
I had an A+ dream last night. It was so perfect. I had a job as a model which provided a steady income and not much stress. I had pink dyed hair and two tattoos. An upper back tattoo and an arm tattoo. It was great, I felt so alive and free. I was popular and famous. I always posted on social media without a care in the world. I had no one blocked. People would comment on my pictures begging for explanations and attention, I ignored them all. I felt great power and control. I was FFPT's ...
My instant karma game is on point. Not good karma, bad karma. So that means I'm at a good place spiritually right? Even though it's bad karma it shows I'm perfectly aligned with the energy field it whatever you wanna call it. The veil between me and the paranormal is lifted. Lol whatever
I can't fall asleep sober. This is what happens when I do. Five consecutive nightmares til the second I wake up in the morning. Uhhg. :/
I have no one to ask if they would care if I killed myself. I want to tell someone I'm depressed. I want to tell someone I've set a date. I want someone to know I have a plan and a way. Too bad nobody actually fucking cares!!! I HAVE NOBODY!!!
I'm a fighter, that's for sure. But it doesn't usually do me much good. Fighting is how you strain your soul. Strained souls die slowly. To die slowly is a lonely road. It's the painful way to go.